I need to get my life together - help

[NayNay]

Perhaps I thought I needed him because before he came around, I gave up on pursuing my goals. Today I went out by myself and did my own thing downtown. I went to go buy some things at future shop but then I just let life decide where it took me. I checked out these huge old churches that were open to the public, it was beautiful. I also decided to go do some window shopping... and it was nice just to be out and about on my own doing something different other than wishing he was here to do things with me.

I could not do things in my life and be fully happy, without knowing he was there with me somehow. Perhaps I feel inferior to others and that is why I needed a relationship to validate my sense of self. I think that has part to do with it.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Perhaps. I don't know.

Its good you had a bit of me time today.. Baby steps....

[MisterTinkles]

I could not do things in my life and be fully happy, without knowing he was there with me somehow. Perhaps I feel inferior to others and that is why I needed a relationship to validate my sense of self. I think that has part to do with it.

Unfortunately this is the new part of human nature in this technologically driven world we are in.

Even by the age of 5 we learn how to use technology. More specifically, the TV. Its our friend, its our babysitter, parents use it to "shut the kids up". Ive seen 10 year olds and under, walking around with their own cell phones, pagers, palm pilots, or whatever is popular at the time. Parents pop out kids, and cant be bothered to raise them as humans. These kids are raised as extensions of technology. So when we grow up, we have no idea how to communicate with other humans, especially in the forms of friendship, relationships, and love.

So, keeping that in mind....when a person starts "coming of age" and starts developing feelings, they usually latch onto the first "nice" person that comes along, simply because all these feelings are being misread and misinterpreted by both people. And if the other person seems to be willing to go along, for whatever reason they may have, you feel you have fallen in love.....but its infatuation, not love. But we dont know the difference, because technology never taught us the difference.

Technology teaches us anger, aggression, stupidity, lethargy, and uncaring/unfeeling ways...but thats about it. When we start developing other emotional states and other feelings, we usually let them "fall where they may", which usually gets us into some bad situations.

This is why I tell people they need to learn who they are, what they want, how they work (as a human being), and what it is in life they are looking for...before they engage in any kind of relationship. Friendship or something more serious.

Just one of the many reasons young people "have it rough"...simply because they were raised by technology and not human beings.

Hope that makes sense.

And this ends my lecture for today.



Glad you had a nice day out with yourself!!!

[Counselor]

He is a thief. He allowed you to sacrifice your interests and things you enjoy for him without so much as acknowledging what you had done for him. He is selfish and dangerous, and you need to move past him in order to regain your center. Go back to the things you love, do them in spite of him and let those things satisfy you to make up the time he robbed from you, and prove that you can love something more than he loved you.

[NayNay]

Unfortunately this is the new part of human nature in this technologically driven world we are in.

Even by the age of 5 we learn how to use technology. More specifically, the TV. Its our friend, its our babysitter, parents use it to "shut the kids up". Ive seen 10 year olds and under, walking around with their own cell phones, pagers, palm pilots, or whatever is popular at the time. Parents pop out kids, and cant be bothered to raise them as humans. These kids are raised as extensions of technology. So when we grow up, we have no idea how to communicate with other humans, especially in the forms of friendship, relationships, and love.

So, keeping that in mind....when a person starts "coming of age" and starts developing feelings, they usually latch onto the first "nice" person that comes along, simply because all these feelings are being misread and misinterpreted by both people. And if the other person seems to be willing to go along, for whatever reason they may have, you feel you have fallen in love.....but its infatuation, not love. But we dont know the difference, because technology never taught us the difference.

Technology teaches us anger, aggression, stupidity, lethargy, and uncaring/unfeeling ways...but thats about it. When we start developing other emotional states and other feelings, we usually let them "fall where they may", which usually gets us into some bad situations.

This is why I tell people they need to learn who they are, what they want, how they work (as a human being), and what it is in life they are looking for...before they engage in any kind of relationship. Friendship or something more serious.

Just one of the many reasons young people "have it rough"...simply because they were raised by technology and not human beings.

Hope that makes sense.

And this ends my lecture for today.



Glad you had a nice day out with yourself!!!

I never thought of it from that perspective, that is definitely a different interesting way of thinking. Luckily for me, I did not have too much access to technology growing up as a kid, heck i only had a cell phone in high school for emergencies only. Did not even have the internet at home! But would go to the library constantly to go on the internet. IT was a way to connect to the world that I was longing for.

I like what you said about infactuation. I honestly do not know if I just let that carry over for years or if I truly loved and cared for him. I believe I did love him at one point, but once I wasnt being treated the way I deserved, I dont think I recognized the need to leave.

I did not know how to communicate my thoughts with my ex while we were still together, out of fear that if I said anything that would upset him he would just break off the relationsihp. I felt like every single thing I did weighed our relationship in the balance and I had to keep all these feelings to myself or else it would break us.

Perhaps part of this relationship was meant for me to learn what I want out of a relationsihp, what I really want out of life, and how to communicate with others better.

I am still trying to figure it out now, but I believe just living in the now is helping me figure so much out... realizations that come out of nowhere when I start not even thinking about the break up anymore.

Thanks for your reply! it is really something to ponder about.