venting....i guess
06-24-2013, 11:36 PM
not sure where this goes i guess this is me venting my anger and frustration. this month has been a pretty interesting ride. couple months ago when i was still out in Arizona before i decided to move back out to Washington to be with someone. i was talking to this said person we've been in and out of each others lives for years. one night we were talking they asked me all these years i have stuck by them and why. i told them it is because i love them then i asked them the same question and they said they loved me. then they asked if i would marry them i said i would. so i packed up put in my two weeks notice on my job and moved back out to washington. not having nowhere to go when i got here i wound up staying with my dad as i went broke moving back here. living with him was a complete hell as all he would do is throw my family in my face saying how they don't give a fuck about me along with other spiteful things. i lived a step above homeless in his house all i was offered was a couch that's it. wasn't offered a spot to unpack my things he dosen't even have food his idea of groccery is to spend twenty bucks at a dollar store. then tell me what i can and can't eat which translate into i starve. he works a measley part time job at a resturant after putting in for early retirement. he comes home with food never offers me any and procceds to eat it infront of me.tension built between me and him a freind steped in told me to come stay with him and his wife and kid. while there was starting to look for work and what not. till things started to go south as i was feeling lonely from being apart from what i thought was the love of my life. so then i texted them told them what was going on they said they talked to their dad and to pack up once again and come out there where they were. they live with their parents for the time being it's a long story. so then i take the last bit of money i have get my freind to take me to the trainstation to buy a one way ticket to where they live. my freind he asked me was this what i wanted to do he begged and pleaded with me not to do as he knows my history with him and how they hurt me before but flipped it around and claim that it was me that hurt them. i told him this is what i came here for and he promised not to stop me. next day i left met up with them at their town's local library they took me home. i met their family everything seemed normal at first. till i discovered i had to sleep in a tent in their backyard my freind called yelled at me told me to come home told me that something funny was going on that he knew and suspected that the parents didn't want me their and never agreed. i told him it will be fine. so i spent the next three days sleeping with again what i thought was the love of my life out in a tent in his parents backyard. this is where it gets nuts they would wake me up in the middle of the night for sex by clawing me and biting me all over my body the scars and bite marks are just now starting to heal. moving on the third day there i went with their father and a couple others to go do some work on some river front property they own. wound up busting my nose a maple tree branch snapped and hit me in the nose. as i bled and cleaned my self up i watched my man flirt with another man in front of me like it was nothing. so pissed and hurting we go back to his house. his parents go into town we were left there alone we sat on the couch cuddled and slept till his parent's came home and his dad calls a house meeting and goes off on me asking me what am i doing here i told him and then i found out the truth they said no a day in advance and i was left out of the loop so then his father dropped me off in seattle on the streets where i texted my ex told them they ruined my life and hurt me deeply as they did not stand up for me and we're through. i called and texted family back in arizona they told me to hold out my mother was gonna send me money to get me through till they were able to get me back to arizona. i spent a week waiting and asking what was going on they would tell me to hold strong and other bs. always got an excuse till i got a text from my dad's girlfreind saying she would let me stay with her in her condo till i could get back on my feet as my family pretty much wrote me off. so i agreed she wired me money for bus fare to go from seattle back to lakewood where i discovered my father was there who spent the night too. the next morning said i could live with him again. everything went back to him harrassing me throwing my family in my face and ex boyfreind in my face. he fails to see what all i have gone through and ignores the fact i just got out of a wtf relationship and suffer from depression too at that and have to ration my meds. i only agreed to come back to lakewood cause i was desperate and wanted someone to talk to wo when his girlfreind offered i agreed. so then i try to get a hold of family in arizona again i'm told money was wired to my account i wait a whole week nothing is there i find out money was never wired and they turned their backs on me as they all blocked my cellphone number along with other family here who has in turn nothing to do with me and disown(not sure how to spell it) me for being gay. pretty much i'm stuck at this assholes mercy while trying to move on pick up the pieces of what was my heart and trying to find work so i can get out of his place as for some reason he thinks i want his girlfreind and won't let me stay with her and everytime she tries to reach out to me he is always there to get in the middle.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
