Father and Son relationships

[trialbyerror]

Solemboy,
Here I support you, well spoken!

[sweetlyspoiled]

I appreciate all of what you guys have suggested and advised.

I am going to take caution with this guy online before we physically meet. He do not mind answering any questions i ask, I know this because I asked him do any of my questions bother him. He said no not at all.

I do not want to critique his former lifestyle with his Father, At lest not so soon. He that's his parent and also his past. We all have that part of our lives we do not want people to critique us about. As far as it being 'wrong', shit happens we do not live in a perfect world, which is also why I can deal with this better than most people would, I don't have a closed mind.

[sweetlyspoiled]

What I find surprising is that he offered to play a dad for you. Would that be what you want? I am ok with big age difference but this sounds funny and strange. Will he consider you to be equal? Will there be a balance?

Of course I have no problem with him wanting to be my 'daddy'. I agree that's why i had to post this. As far as him considering me to be equal, so far it seems he do not mind our differences at all.

[sweetlyspoiled]

May I weigh in on this?

Oy!
This one's bound to be controversial.

I have knowledge of such a relationship, but from the father's perspective.

I've penned a short story, based on it, I think it makes for interesting reading.
If the thread originator / anybody wishes, send me you e-mail & I will send it on to you.

My personal perspective is this: -

What consenting people do in their private lives is just that. Private.
What people get out of a relationship is, again, private (note I have not stipulated the number of people in any particular relationship)
How people choose to conduct / define their negotiated relationship is their business.

So long a both parties are consenting and there is no coercion, I have no problem with that. Also, there is no possibility of off-spring. That's where I draw the line and say definitely not, totally irresponsible.

Pre-adolescence, if the 2 parties are of similar age, again I have on problem (I was curious from 7)

In a biological / sexual relationship, as long as both parties can opt out without at any point without acrimony, and a clear distinction between parenting and "lover" is understood and maintained no problem.

How can I be judgmental? unless somebody asks for my help.

I simply accept people based on their interaction with me, not on hearsay, or what has happened in the past.

I am in no way implying that his this is a "skeleton in the closet" for the fella, But Lord knows, every one of us has done things we regretted doing, Allow people the space to have lived.

Yup, That's about it from me, Hope this helps.

Trial by error

Thanks, I had no problem with his relationship with his dad.

I would like to know how a non-kin Father and Son relationship works, because he is considering me son-like and will this be wrong for me to see him as my father figure and adding intimacy and sex into it?

[Dan1980]

Why is that? The 'wrong' part, not the 'illegal' part.

It's wrong because a father and son relationship shouldn't be sexual. It also could hurt other family members if they found out. That's why it's wrong Sole.

[Nick9]

Thanks, I had no problem with his relationship with his dad.

I would like to know how a non-kin Father and Son relationship works, because he is considering me son-like and will this be wrong for me to see him as my father figure and adding intimacy and sex into it?

you said that this was not your first relationship with an older man. I live with one too, but it's not father - son type relationship.
You will have to ask him and think about how that would differ from the relationships you had. And if it is something you want to try.

It can be just like your other relationships and he just names it this way. Or he will try to be the dominant figure (which is fine, the question is how far he will go and if you two have the same "line in the sand")

He could like the possibility and opportunity to "bring you up" to "educate" you - but it can go to such details as when you will be home and which friend you will see.

You will have to talk about it and ask what is so appealing for him on father - son relationship (and decide what is there attractive for you).

I am a bit surprised that it is not him who looks for older man - as a "substitution" for his father.

[SolemnBoy]

It's wrong because a father and son relationship shouldn't be sexual. It also could hurt other family members if they found out. That's why it's wrong Sole.

That kind of thinking doesn't really work though

I have relatives who would be hurt by me being with another man, that doesn't mean I have to adapt.

[Anonymous]

I think if you are both willing, go for it, but as always, be careful.

[Anonymous]

I am making this anonymous as there might be some ramifications to what I am about to admit - I have had sex with my father, 1 of my uncles and a couple of my cousins. Some of it was out of curiosity, some out of lust and some out of love (my dad). I wish I could have a romantic relationship with him, but that would never happen...

[Spades]

To have a dad/son relationship is OK with me, but to have it with actual family is taking it a bit too far for me. If both parties was of age and it was consensual, great for you, but for me - no thanks!