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Tough to "read" this guy
#1
Just a bit of history and then on to the meat (!) I am a single gay male who is NOT currently looking for a "relationship". I hook-up though the local phone dating service and it has worked well for me the past few years. I am picky about who I am looking for and I have acquired the knack for weeding out potential hook-ups when we first chat over the phone. So I do not hook up often and I have never had a bad experience with this line. I had a most interesting experience yesterday, but it is filled with many talking points. I think I will just begin by addressing them one-by one in separate posts.

So the fellow leaves a message with his phone number in my box. I call and after a few seconds I begin to notice the conversation drops off after every other sentence. No flow at all. In the initial contact callers are sometimes shy so I am quick to pick up the ball and keep it rolling. Still I notice these conversational lags and uncomfortable pauses. ( I used to fill it up with small talk, but now I am inclined to just be quiet until one of us begins again, but it gets akward.) Based on this I was inclined to let this one go. However, his "age 34 and tight swimmer's build" (I am 65 and into younger men) encouraged me to follow through. I also thought it may be initial shyness on his part. I've run into it before especially with men new to the scene, or straight men looking to experiment. Once I am face-to-face and the ice is broken it tends to work out. I drove across town to his place. We sat down by his pool for a chat and the same thing happened. Long, sometimes uncomfortable pauses. So I was fairly reserved as also befits a guest in a stranger's home. My "read" on him was , in part, that he was very sad. In fact at one point I brought it up that he seemed sad. (I felt comfortable enough with him that I felt I could be candid) His reply was that he had sat too long in the sun. Yet he didn't seem put off that I was there. He asked me if I wanted to swim. I said "do you have a pair of trunks?" (being polite) He said we could swim naked. I said what about the neighbors (I was trying to get some humor in ) He said there were two old ladies next door. I says "Good! Its showtime!" Finally he cracked a smile. And I even pointed it out. The only time he smiled the whole time I was there.

We did make it to bed and those issues comprise another post. I like this guy and before I left I told him as much and that I hoped we might try it again. Most of my hook-ups are bi or straight guys with wives or girlfriends and I am OK with that. But I know better than to allow the heart to get involved with a bi or straight guy. (I sound like a hooker) But this particular guy is gay and I like him. He seems a tough nut to crack and I am not certain I want to pursue this. He left me with no clue as to whether he was interested in getting to know me, yet if there was no chemistry I would have thought he, would have called it off early on. It has happened before and I can handle it. The guy didn't seem so weak-willed that he would allow physical contact just to be polite, either. In fact our swim came after we had been to bed and we also sat together awhile before I left. Usually if I am staying too long my hook-up comes up with a polite way of asking me to leave. Not this one. I probably could have stayed a couple hours longer, but I had a sense when it was time to leave and said my goodbyes.

It didn't go very well in bed, but I am trying to see the whole picture here. Some of the 'bedroom' issues are personal to me. Or it may be the lack of chemistry. I'll address that in another post.

Thanks you for hanging in with my post and I appreciate your comments.

Slider Headscratch
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#2
I enjoyed reading your post. It made me want to know more about this handsome 34 year old who displayed a quiet demeanor.

Tell us more about your experiences.
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#3
Well, he is 5'6" swimmer's build, short hair and the sweetest smooth rear-end you'd ever want to see. Also a goatee and moustache, neatly trimmed. I loved stroking it. (the goatee) and caressing his face. He felt good in my arms and for a few minutes he lay by my side, his head on my chest. He likes movies, working out, and is employed in the healthcare profession. He just moved to town from back East. His kisses were tender. I could go on, but the sleep meds are beginning to kick in. There is much more to tell so I will have to pick up the rest later.

Thank you for reading my post.

Slider Bunny2
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#4
Slidezone303 Wrote:Most of my hook-ups are bi or straight guys with wives or girlfriends and I am OK with that.


why , exactly , are you okay with that ?
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#5
"I sound like a hooker"

Yes.
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#6
^Says the one who got caught by his wife having sex with a man lol c:
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#7
Quote:why , exactly , are you okay with that ?

Good question and it brings me to another facet of this post. I like having sex with men and the best experiences I have had have been with straight or bi men. A couple years ago I had a "regular Friday night" with a divorced guy with two children. No strings. I was hesitant at first because when I spoke to him over the phone he indicated he is not into kissing. I am. But I liked his voice and enthusiasm. He was quite cheerful and upbeat. So I agreed to meet him. I actually enjoyed it and we met regularly for over a year. I was wise enough to not fall for this guy. And when he stopped calling it was fine. In fact we are friends on FB. All this may seem anathema to some of you who are into looking for relationships or monogamy. But at the time I was happy with my the way I chose to explore my sexuality. As to why the sex was better all these years with straight or bi guys, I can't tell you. Maybe someone who reads this has an input. As to the this particular guy in the original post, I think that had the session gone better there may have been a chance at dating. I would have welcomed that. I might also add that most of the callers on the phone line are bi or "experimenting". So stats may be a factor, but it works for me, better than bars or internet dating services. Don't ask me why. I just go with what works.

Thanks for the question.
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#8
Slidezone303 Wrote:Good question and it brings me to another facet of this post. I like having sex with men and the best experiences I have had have been with straight or bi men. A couple years ago I had a "regular Friday night" with a divorced guy with two children. No strings. I was hesitant at first because when I spoke to him over the phone he indicated he is not into kissing. I am. But I liked his voice and enthusiasm. He was quite cheerful and upbeat. So I agreed to meet him. I actually enjoyed it and we met regularly for over a year. I was wise enough to not fall for this guy. And when he stopped calling it was fine. In fact we are friends on FB. All this may seem anathema to some of you who are into looking for relationships or monogamy. But at the time I was happy with my the way I chose to explore my sexuality. As to why the sex was better all these years with straight or bi guys, I can't tell you. Maybe someone who reads this has an input. As to the this particular guy in the original post, I think that had the session gone better there may have been a chance at dating. I would have welcomed that. I might also add that most of the callers on the phone line are bi or "experimenting". So stats may be a factor, but it works for me, better than bars or internet dating services. Don't ask me why. I just go with what works.

Thanks for the question.

so , your own personal pleasure is much more important than the feelings of innocent wives / girlfriends who will inevitably be hurt by their other halves cheating on them with you ?

why not have sex with people (gay , straight , bi , whatever ) who are single ?
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#9
megumidesu Wrote:so , your own personal pleasure is much more important than the feelings of innocent wives / girlfriends who will inevitably be hurt ...
lets be real here; some one is cheating on someone. This bad dosnt include the OP.
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#10
pellaz Wrote:lets be real here; some one is cheating on someone. This bad dosnt include the OP.

just because OP isn't the one cheating doesn't make him innocent in any way. he's choosing to have sex with people who he knows are in relationships . that's bad . maybe not as bad as choosing to cheat , but still .
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