Africa Kills Rainbows

[Jude997]

Hello everyone whilst everyone here is telling you about coming out and why they're coming out. i just want to tell you that i will never come out to my Mom. and here is a little story why.

I would just like to take some time to inform everyone here of how terrible Africa treats Homosexuals. To come out to anyone in the older generation (30+) would be a death sentence. The view people have on gay people here are disgusting and the laws are despicable! We are so stuck in 'culture' and 'religion' that we are unable to open our eyes and see how terribly bright the hate we radiate is.

Yesterday, me and my radically homophobic mother were watching 'Friendzoned on MTV (you know that show where people ask their best friends out?), and of course, there came a gay guy, and he was going to ask his gay best friend out on a date. So as soon as my mother saw this, she began with the insults.
-"That is Crazy! They are crazy!"
-"What is he doing!? That is disgusting! Mxxm!"
-"Why would he embarrass his mother like that! I would be ASHAMED if I knew him."
-"How can you be GAY on television! Disgusting!"

And a whole lot of other stuff. During these insults of course, I was hurt. But I had to keep a straight face or else she would of suspected something (I'm sure you all relate to keeping a straight face). Well after listening to all of these radical mean statements my mother was saying, I told myself that I had to know something. I had to know what she would do if her son was gay. So I asked
"Well mum, maybe his mother is proud of him. Maybe she still loves him you know? Wouldn't you still love your son no matter who he was?"
I asked, thinking that I had finally reached her sympathy. Thinking that love would conquer all prejudice she forces onto other people. Thinking that she would love me no matter what.
..Thinking wrong. She replied in a manic tone. Even worse than 'Manic', she sounded Catatonic! Her eyes went red and her mouth started spitting as she replied. She screamed "WHAT? If I found out there was a FAGGOT living in THIS HOUSEHOLD! MY HOUSEHOLD! I would tell him to leave. LEAVE QUICKLY! Not even pack his bags! Because those are MY bags I payed for, and not for any FAGGOT! I would even send him to the police, where he can rot in jail. If this was Uganda I would watch him be hung! Stupid fools should all die. They should not be considered in this society, they deserve death." She replied.

I could not reply. After I was just staring at her red face, trying to come to terms that my own mother hated me. That she would send her own son to jail just because he is attracted to other men. I was shocked.

So yes I had no idea her homophobia was this bad, but hey, it's one of the most normalest things in Africa, homophobia. I'm pretty sure in Botswana, if you were to look at 10 houses, 8 of them would kick a member of their family out for being homosexual. That's how slow history moves here in Good ol' Africa. This is why I shall never come out to my mother

I have come out to a few close friends and two cousins however. And they have been very accepting.... Except one and I will tell you about that one in another thread.
Thanks for reading

[LONDONER]

Yes, I have read and seen on TV all about the homophobia in Africa and that's why I will never visit the Continent. Sorry that you have to live under such terrible conditions.

[partisan]

Hey jude...

I hope given time, things will improve in your country, like you said history moves a bit slower down your way. I think your brave to be who you are, and i hope you,ll stay safe and take care, maybe one day find yourself with a more accepting group of people. :-)

[Sylph]

Wow, that's really sad. I don't even know what to say to console that.

However, I have a friend who is Jamaican and is gay, and for those who know, being gay in Jamaica is like the one of the worst things on this planet and is so bad, forget about jail, they chop you up, shoot you and even sodomize you and in the case of lesbians "correctional rape" is used.

So when I met him, he was soooooooo far back in the closet and ashamed of himself, it's unbelievable, as here, although it's bad and we have no protection in regards to discrimination, we can still walk the streets and stuff, so I was never soo ashamed, but he was in there bad.

After being here for awhile, and seeing that all you really get here is slurs and the occasional harrasment, he decided to open up and open up he did hunni! He started wearing wigs and makeup and nails and started to live his life as a drag queen, which was what he wanted to do all along, and he is very beautiful!

Now he's a stylist in America and is still a drag queen.

Now not saying becoming a drag queen is the answer, but just that with time, things will work themselves out.

Our Cultures are similar, so I can relate somewhat, however my Island is far more tolerant in relation to other Carribean cultures(which is still generally speaking, bad) of homosexuality, so I can't relate there.

But I sincerely wish you all the best sweetie .

[Sylph]

Also, don't know of you're already aware, but perhaps this story may help inspire and encourage you . I find it very beautiful :3 .

Gay African Love

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Not too long ago in America it was that way here. Granted over the past 40 years it has lightened up and there is a lot more tolerance, but it started out being ugly like this and then there was the Stone Wall Riots and then a lot of people started fighting for their rights.

I came in on the scene halfway between there and here... It wasn't that much easier, but it did get easier with time and with people working to make a positive change.

Eventually in Africa the LGBT will make their stand, will declare their independence and will insist that they be treated equally and fairly and tell the rest of the people to sit down, shut up and stop the hatred. When? I don't know. When that happens depends on the people.

Revolutions cannot be won for people, the people must choose to take the risks and do what needs to be done to revolt and stake their claim - yes, there are always losses, there is always blood shed. No one can give this to Africa, Africa has to do it itself.

[Dreamer]

That's tough.

All I can say is continue to do what you can to prevent your mother from taking those actions against you.

Keep going to school, and working, or whatever it is that you do, until you can support yourself, and live on your own, and do what you want to do in this life. If you were to come out to your mother, I'd say, do it when you're living life on your terms, and far away from her.

[Pix]

being gay in Jamaica is like the one of the worst things on this planet and is so bad, forget about jail, they chop you up, shoot you and even sodomize you and in the case of lesbians "correctional rape" is used.

Yeah, I heard about that. I vaguely recall reading of a couple of gay tourists being chased and they ran into a church and the mob dragged them out for a brutal lynching that left the gay men dead and I think beat and/or stabbed the clergyman who tried to stop the lynch mob.

You know, if they owned it and said, "We're evil and we'll kill any who dare live in a way we don't approve," I think I could grudgingly respect that. Hate, yes, and want to see them wiped from the face of the Earth, but at least their position is clear (in short, I'd see them similar to death eaters).

But my impression is people like that see themselves as MORAL! How in the hell can they be so screwed in the head as to think the crap they do is more MORAL than some sexual practice they disapprove of (especially given how plenty seem to be child molesters and the like)? How does one kill, rape, and chop up a corpse and feel that they are a GOOD person (as opposed to a powerful psychopath that others should fear) that others should admire? :confused:

And going back to the OP, I bet the mother wouldn't mind a murderer and a rapist (not even a baby rapist since they don't pass bills to have them killed), just so long as he's not GAY. :eek:

How can these people not realize that there's something HORRIBLY wrong with them!? :confused:

[Jude997]

But my impression is people like that see themselves as MORAL!

Yes. Yes. Yes. That's exactly what they think. I've always realized that that is their set of mind but I've never actually known how to put it into words. They think what they're doing is what God wants them to do. The bible does preach a lot of hatred towards this community and the fact that these mindless fools are you looking for a cheap way to get into heaven, they kill the people that they are convinced that God hates. But if there is a God, they must realize that he loves everyone. We are his creation so NOTHING that we do, should be a reason for us to be killed by another human being. (I'm atheist but I've read the bible).

[TKC]

Hey Jude,

Thanks for sharing, and I'm terribly sorry you experience this as your day to day life. Hopefully, in the near future, you'll be able to change your surroundings into something that fits your life FAR better than what you're experiencing now. And, I'm terribly sorry for your Mom's reaction - it's unjust and unfair, and incredibly hurtful.

How are you logging on to this forum? Through a home computer or personal mobile device? Either way, if your mother responded that way and you're connecting to this forum or anything else at home, it may be worth while to figure out how to erase your history and delete your cookies regularly - or just bits and pieces of them. You shouldn't HAVE to, but by and large it would be a safe precaution to take.