Should I be weary of this guy?

[Tulloni]

Following my breakup with my ex boyfriend in June I've been going on dates. Yeah I know some may say its a bit too early and all but it has been a full month and they are just dates with no contact of any sort.

So anyway, I've been on two dates with two people. One of them is this Brazilian guy in London (considering my ex was Lithuanian it seems I am getting a bit of attention from migrants!) and the second one was with this camp guy who was actually quite nice.

The Brazilian guy seemed interested in me but I felt uncomfortable when he tried to touch my hand in public. I mean that's a little inappropriate and it makes me uncomfortable. Plus he keeps calling me ''sweetheart'' even though he barely knows me and is now going on about how he can't find a job, he has no money, he is stuck and does not know what to do etc. I message him and half the time he doesn't bother to reply or even say hi.

I am sceptical about him. I am wondering if he's after money or even a visa. I keep having visions that he's going to ask me to marry him or for a civil partnership or something. My answer will be a firm NO to that! If he asks me for money its the same. I barely have enough to feed and look after myself let alone a high maintenance fake lover/admirer. I think he has ulterior motives.

The other guy (the camp British-Irish dude) was actually really nice and seems okay. I thought the date went well but I've heard not much from him so I assume he's not into me so much.

All in all its disappointing. Still at least the second guy isn't acting all weird.

Has anyone else had similar problems?

I forgot to mention that the first guy's English wasn't so great which made it harder to communicate.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I do know rebound relationships rarely if ever work, and I learned the hard way that taking a year off between partners (at least) is better for self and lets you figure out such things as what you did to assist in the break-up of the last relationship, figure out who you are as an individual, even check to make certain your parameters for what you want in a partner hasn't changed.

I have no idea what is on your laundry list of traits/types etc you are looking for in a mate. Perhaps its time you take a pen and paper and right down a list of 'must haves' 'would like to haves' and 'what I can't have at all' in the types and personalities of your potential partners.

Seems to me you have some idea that you do not want to be a rescuer, or a sugar daddy. How is your true feelings on 'camp' - it must be important to you for some reason because you felt it important to mention about the Brit/Irish dude...

You dislike Public displays of affection - perhaps that falls under 'I can't have that at all in a man'.

Write up your pros/cons list with everything you can think of, then pare it down figuring out what it is you absolutely need in your partner and what you absolutely can't stand in a partner.

The shorter the list the more potential partners you can look at.

Perhaps once you have this check list it will make it easier for you to decide what you should and shouldn't do with these fellas.

[pellaz]

The Brazilian guy is being honest with you. If your partner has to have an employ tell him up front too.

Seems you are more interested in the second man. Ignore hm being camp but instead look how he and you can form a house hold where both of you contribute things as individuals where your strengths are. Most straight relationships, the other 95%, are based in dis similarities and it works for them. If he plays not interested tell him you are very interested and want see hm again, see where it goes.

PDA
come on now, its legal isnt it? That is the UK has same sex marriage.

nice you are dating after your previous relationship. your new relationship could fail for all the same reasons the old one failed and more. You are being selective which is nice. If you like the second boy put some effort for him. Be open minded and patient and you will get what you want good or bad.

[HomeagainNYC]

If you have been out with two guy already, why not see who else is out there who you might fancy? What's the hurry, relax, take it slow and enjoy getting to know new people. You shouldn't rush into a new relation or yourself for that matter here.

If you plan to keep seeing the Brazilian guy, next time he brings up one of his issues, why don't you sympathies then ask him how does he plan on sorting the issue out. If he come up with a blank every time - that should answer a lot of your questions about him - legal or not.

< Begin rant> I was in Rio in May - God what Beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful men! <End rant>

When you connect with the right person, you won't have to sort through these kind of questions, you'll know. Trust your own instincts, and take your time.

[Tulloni]

well I still haven't heard at all from the Brazilian bloke so I think that kinda answers the question itself. It's just one of those ones that wouldn't lead anywhere. As for PDA, well yes its legal but I have issues with being touched by people. I don't like it much whether its by a man or woman. I don't think this guy is all that attractive either.

I haven't heard much from the camp guy either. I can live with campness so that's not a problem. But if I don't hear much from either of them after so long I'll take that to mean they aren't interested. Oh well! These things happen.

I probably do need a longer break I agree with that, still if I come across the right person maybe I'll give it another go. Not looking likely at this stage though.