What should I tell my friend?

[ChrisD]

......................Situation resolved.....................................

[Bowyn Aerrow]

So you have never seen dad in action here? All you have to go on is her word?

Borderline abusing her meds... There is no boarder line when it comes to drug abuse, either you are or you are not. It is not Schrodinger's cat. Is it possible she actually does have a problem with her meds and what she sees as dad being a mean, abusive cruel creature is just him reacting to her abusing meds?

As far as you can tell... There is the problem. She is on one side of the country, you on the other - its not like you get to see her face to face or actually get to see her dad in action. How do you know she is telling the truth?

Now I'm not saying she is a liar, but is it possible she is telling tales in order to manipulate you and get you to care for her more?

People do do that - that an lie bald faced about crap for shits and giggles. I can start ticking off a list of people who I know who lie, manipulate, tell tall tales for no other reason than I guess to mess with other people. If this is just an internet contact then its is highly possible that you are not even dealing with a girl, you could be dealing with an old man or a teen boy who is yanking your chain here.



These are serious allegations she is making. Taking away needed medication is abuse.

If she is seeing a therapist and tells any of this to the therapist, the therapist is compelled by law to report it to the Law.

Taking away a persons needed medication (needed for medical reasons) is abuse, and such abuse runs afoul of the law and the police will be involved. If the is a minor so are CPS involved.

Either she is not sharing with her therapist, or she is telling one of you a different tale than the other.

Tell her that she needs to tell her therapist what is going on, especially with having her pain meds taken from her by her dad as 'punishment'. Let the law intervene and salvage this situation.

Assuming that all of this is actually going down, she needs to tell her therapist - the therapist will start a chain reaction of events to help her out of this situation.

[TKC]

So, what I'm about to say may make me a bad guy, and I'm ok with that. Sometimes people are beyond our help. Sometimes people ate so lost in a world that either they create or is created for them that they are the only ones who can find the way out of their mire. And no matter how lovely they are and how much you care about them, sometimes you have to let go or risk being sucked in. you will experience this with friends, family, and lovers and it will cover a wide variety of circumstances from grief to anger to depression. And it's ok to let go.

I'm not saying that in this case that's the course of action you should take...clearly we don't know the whole situation, but definitely look at the situation and see what you're getting out of these interactions with her. Do you ever feel uplifted after speaking with her? Does she push you to grow? Does she help make you a better person? If so, then keep doing what you've been doing. Unfortunately, you can't change her situation, and that's ok. You can continue to show her that good people exist and help her escape her reality for a little while each day. But also help push her to get herself out if the situation. Is there family or a friend she can stay with? If not, she can still change her own life. She can go to a night school and work full time during the day, go to a shelter, something...she isn't trapped there, no matter if that seems to be her reality or not.

However, if she's not actively working to change her situation, she's likely bringing you down with her. If that's the case, it's time to cut the cord. Friendships are a two way street and while they're rarely ever a perfect give and take scenario, in the end you should receive a proportional amount to what you give. It sounds shitty, but any other way will end up in resentment.

Either way, make sure you're taking care of yourself. If she's someone you want in your life for the long haul, you can't take care of her as well if you're not taking care of yourself.