22 and totally confused with life

[Anonymous]

Seems like a normal thing, or so I've been told, but…

1. I'm unemployed - despite applying to several jobs in the last five years and only having two interviews (and no job).
   
2. I'm in community college studying a dead-end program (Art History) with limited financial aid left.
   
3. The only time I don't feel alone is with my best friend from high school...
   
4. …but she's got her life together at 20...
   
5. …and I feel totally empty.
   
6. I always feel alone when I'm with my mother, and sometimes both of my parents. (They don't know I'm gay). Coming out to them isn't the best idea - Dad's a US military retiree. Mom always chastises me on everything. In fact, being with any family (I'm an only child) just irritates me.
   
7. I'm single, I've been on and off dating sites for three years - I've been on several dates but no relationship - I blame myself usually.
   
8. I have dreams of being famous (who doesn't) but I feel like I have talent but no way to prove it.
   
9. On a side note: I do have insecure moments - acne breakouts, and the struggle to gain weight (you read that right - gain weight). I feel that most gay/bi guys care about looks.
   

Basically, I feel my life is a big scrambled mess of confusion, awkwardness and frustration.

Suicide is never an option for me - not because of religion but because I just don't believe killing oneself at a dead end is the right thing to do.

[ardus]

Sounds like you need friends you can talk to, if I can say so this place can be a good place to find people like that.

A lot of very nice people here.

Feel free to PM me if you want to.

Otherwise, welcome.

Richard


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 2

[kidchameleon]

Don't worry, you're not alone in this. 21, and pretty much feel the same way most of the time. Just because your friend has her life together doesn't mean you have to, we all get there at different paces. Some people just take longer than others to get past that "awkward phase" than others, but there's nothing wrong with that.

Try going to some social groups or something? It'd help you meet some new people - and make new friends - help you learn new skills (which you could put on your CV depending on what they are), and would probably help your confidence a bit too? Plus it'd get you out your house, and help to distract you from any of the negativity you're feeling?

What do you want to be famous for? We all have dreams, but nobody ever gets it handed to them. People aren't going to notice you unless you make an effort to be noticed. If you like singing, make some youtube videos, if you like drawing, start a webcomic. When it comes to fame it's not an easy road, but the internet is certainly your friend when it comes to getting noticed.

On the whole "caring about looks" side, I think it's true to an extent... but if you're looking for a meaningful relationship, I don't think you're going to find one with somebody who would only like you with clear skin and a certain body weight. It sounds cliche, but if a person doesn't like you for who you are, then they're really not worth it.

Feel free to PM me if you ever wanna talk to a fellow awkward individual. I'm sure we could share stories lol

[mbennet35]

At 22 I was in the same boat as you. I didn't have a job (still don't really besides babysitting my cousin for extra cash), I was not doing good in college and I was horribly depressed and confused.

If you need someone to talk to just send me a PM.

[Spectrum7]

Seems like a normal thing, or so I've been told,.

That's because it is normal.

As far as I could see there's nothing so horribly wrong with you or your life. Sure you didn't get into Harvard at age 18, or becomes the next Mark Zuckerberg at age 20, but so is the billions of people on this Earth.

You are still young, your life has just started. If you wanted to complain you got another 80 or so years left to complain so don't worry about it now. Many people takes years to find their calling and years more to get their lives together.

Life's an adventure so enjoy the ride! The world opens up to you when you open yourself.

If you need someone to talk, or if you need a picker-upper, a bit of pep talk, or just a little cheers feel free to PM me. I'm officially on duty

[Dan1980]

There is so many great people here you can talk to. Feel free to send me a PM.

[Vigilias]

I don't particularly prescribe to dream meanings etc, but I think in this case the fame thing is a subconscious desire for recognition of your own self-worth and for the approval of others.

Interesting you mention suicide and that you don't believe in it as a solution. I'm wondering why you made mention of it.

Are things REALLY that bad and you're simply exploring opinions and attitudes to taking your own life? If you have suicidal thoughts please see someone and talk to them about it. Don't let it get worse because in my experience, it doesn't seem to get better on its own.

If it were me, I'd be talking to my doctor rather than doing a back-flip off a car park for the sake of a chemical imbalance in the brain.

Keep talking to us - and let us be strong for you!

[pellaz]

volunteer:
democratic party (if in the US)
glbt center stuff
art teacher, city museum(s), art teacher schools

exercise:
running, low cost gym situation community center
bike
change your diet to minimal foods for at least one meal a day; salad's, tofu, no alcohol or soda, soy milk

keep posting here that's what gay speak is for, best wishes

[partisan]

Im 29 and totally confused with life, that will never stop unless you stop learning, your freind may seem shes got her life "together" but who can truly say what it is to have your life together when the worlds continuing to go to pot.

You say you want to be famous and have talent, you didn't even mention what you do, thats the problem.

I agree with all the advice that's been given here.

Your a worrier and all your going through now may one day make you a stronger person, i really wish you the best

[trialbyerror]

May I weigh in on this?

How do you eat an elephant?

Sounds ridiculous doesn't it?

I'll get back to this.

Seems like you are overwelmed by so many different issues that all seem to be working against you right now.

Back to my question.

The answer of course is one bite at a time.....

Divide everything up into smaller chunks, instead of weeks or months deal in days or even hours.

Pick one issue. Start with the one that you believe would be the easiest to get to grips with. Work at that. Get the better of it, acknowledge your success, pack it away, pick the next.

Things will get easier I promise. As your coping skills develop you will be better equiped to deal with the more difficult issues.

Same advice I still give to my foster son ever since he was 14, and getting lost in welfare...
Hope it helps you to.

Kind regards,
Trial by error