He's 16, I'm 24. Too young?

[Evan]

lying about his age the first time doesn't sound all that mature to me ...

Very true. I also told him that. He apologized and realizes it was wrong. As I can understand why he did it (not *that* he did it, but *why*), I can forgive him that one mistake. After all, he did tell me the truth by himself. If I had to find out myself, that would've been different.

Well I guess you have to ask yourself do you want to date a child. Because that's what he is.

Just to be clear, I know for the law he may be a child, but he's not in my eyes. I am primarily attracted to guys close to my own age, and the fact that I'm interested in this guy means he is no where near an average 16 year old.

well I can only tell you what I think I would do in that situation. If I felt like I had a real connection with him I would continue seeing him with a few stipulations. The first being no sex til he turns 18. I dont care how fabulous they are, my ass wouldnt be sitting in jail over some vindictive 16 year old's parents gay rage just because we couldnt keep our willies in our pants for a couple of years. I dunno what the age of consent is in Indiana but for me personally I wouldnt have sex with anyone under 18 just as a good rule of thumb. Even then some of them wouldnt be emotionally ready for a relationship.

I thought the age of consent was 18, but another poster said 16. As long as I'm not sure, though, I definitely wouldn't have sex with him while he's still under 18.

Thast something else you need to watch out for. Yes he might seem like an adult and much older than his years reflect but you are still dealing with a growing child. His emotions likely havent fully matured and he could be totally different when they are matured. Its just something to watch out for.

Another thing you have to consider is are you his first serious relationship? Youre 24, youre at an age where people might be starting to look to have a serious long term relationship. He's 16 and no matter how mature he might act I just dunno if anyone that young could handle a grown up relationship. Does he play sports? Is he gonna throw a temper tantrum if you cant make it to his "big game?" Also if you are his first long term relationship some guys can be VERY VERY clingy to the first person they are in a relationship with. Combined with his age thats a recipe for disaster if things turn sour.

That makes sense. Those are the things that I have already thought about a bit, even before I found out he was 16. This would be his first relationship, yes. I, myself, have been in more than one relationship, the last one lasting 5 years. I realize that means there could be quite a difference in emotional development, and I'm honestly just not sure whether that's a risk I wanna take or not.

I dunno personally if I would pursue it. From an outsider's perspective looking inward it seems like youd be walking into a minefield on roller skates but really only you know how you feel so only you know if you can pursue this relationship or not.

Thanks. Your post really made sense.

[Evan]

The quote feature doesn't seem to work anymore, so I'll do it like this.

@ Pellaz, The legal issue actually isn't even the biggest concern I have; I don't mind waiting two years to have sex, it's not the most important thing in a relationship. I'm more concerned about developmental differences. You say please be the tolerant one, and that I am the "lead," but it shouldn't have to be like that in a relationship. One shouldn't have to tolerate more than the other, and one is not the "lead" and the other the "follower." This can only work out if we're on the same level in most things.

[trialbyerror]

Common guys give me some credit
I'm old but not daft
It has already been established 16 is of legal age in Indiana

Now, I take that as said
of legal age

[megumidesu]

Common guys give me some credit
I'm old but not daft
It has already been established 16 is of legal age in Indiana

Now, I take that as said
of legal age

legal age , yeah . but being 16 means his parents could still fuck things up a whole lot ...

also he lied . which , even if it was a mistake , is still wrong and if i was the OP then i would have a heard time trusting him after that.

[Will101]

I really wouldn't care so much for the age... Well, for me 24 and 16 ( he'll turn 17 in january?) It's okay! It is not so normal but either not so weird and if he seems more mature i can say that there's no problem with dating him. And if he likes you that much , just GO FOR IT!!
Don't worry about age numbers... Be happy , and make him happy .

[AlfredM]

legal age , yeah . but being 16 means his parents could still fuck things up a whole lot ...

That's something to be considered seriously. Personally,I wouldn't want anywhere near this Law&Order drama.

[Arkansota]

if he is of legal age go for it. Talk to him directly about it so there is no mistake. get discrete legal advice from a professional, he's got parents.
it is on the bad side of an acceptable 10 year range so
Please be the kind, generous, tolerant one in the relationship. You are the lead in the relationship that is let him take you by the hand and pull you along.

10 year range? Lolno. There is no acceptable age range.

[megumidesu]

10 year range? Lolno. There is no acceptable age range.

what ?
so , people should only date people who are the same age as them ? 0_o

[Arkansota]

what ?
so , people should only date people who are the same age as them ? 0_o

No, people should be allowed to date anyone above the age of 18. There is no limit in age difference.

[Kenny221]

LOL The 'acceptable' age range deemed by 'society' increases as the age increases. No one is gonna bat an eye to a 36 year old with a 44 year old. Though, I wanna defend this guy for lying about his age.

This would be his first relationship? Yes? Imagine what he must be going through himself. Yes, lying about his age was wrong, but he finally found someone he liked. Being at 16, he doesn't get many of these chances. This guy probably knew you wouldn't given him a second thought if he said he was 16, and only you can answer this question. Would you have ignored him if he had said he was 16 from the very start? Only you can answer that question.

I'm not saying it was RIGHT for him to lie about his age, it's never good to lie. Yet, the reason for him to lie is quite understandable.