Heart broken, please help.

[NerdyGiant23]

NerdyGiant23, the way he treated me now is worlds apart from when we first met. Having been soo burned and poorly treated, I can't help but have thoughts of revenge or have some sort of justice be done. Is this normal? How can he just get away with it? Karma doesn't seem all that practical or timely. I need to find the strength and will to make a change for the better. Thank you guys soo much. I hope everyone is doing well. It's a new day. Cheers

Unfortunately, so many people are always at their best in the beginning of a relationship. People tend to highlight all their good qualities in the beginning without so much of a hint of the bad. And it's normal (at least for me it was) to have thoughts of revenge, but in the end it's not healthy. My first ex dumped me because I had a bad day and I cried. He said he loved me but the moment I wasn't positive he said I was "too much drama" and dumped me. I wanted to hurt him so badly because he had it so easy in life. He was a spoiled brat who had everything handed to him by his millionaire parents: his cars, business, vacations, private school education, and so on. He wasn't used to pain because he's had an easy life where I've always had my struggles. I always thought that if he truly loved me he wouldn't have dumped me, but I realized this after a few months: he didn't deserve me for my good times if he couldn't support me through the bad.

And he won't get away with it if he doesn't learn from the mistakes he made with you. Chances are he'll go on dates being a good and seemingly perfect guy, but the negative qualities are bound to show up and it'll be his butt getting the rejection if he doesn't change for the better. He won't find a good guy if he doesn't change, and while he goes through that you'll have found a good guy who didn't have to change to be what you deserve. I'm sure of that.

[Comicbooktatt2]

I want to thank you all for your messages during this difficult time. I am grateful any of you would reach out to a complete stranger, lend an ear and give such profound, personal, comforting, and helpful advice. I'm taking everything you say to heart.

"Have a wonderful, happy, rewarding, productive life WITHOUT him."

Yes.

[NerdyGiant23]

Just make sure to take care of yourself and allow yourself whatever time it takes to get over him. There is no doubt you'll find someone better that will treat you right when you're ready to try dating again

*friendly hugs*

[LiveForFitness]

Dont chase after anybody..life is too short as it is...find something in your life that brings you happiness and do it every DAMN day..tty soon

[Kenny221]

Let me tell you now. Someone like your ex doesn't deserve someone like you. It seems like he was constantly hurting you on purpose and that actually pissed me off more then you think. I know you're heart broken, but would you actually wanna spend a life time with this type of guy? His behaviour was completely unacceptable and disgusting.

Don't worry buddy, their's plenty of sharks in the sea...much better sharks

[Comicbooktatt2]

hi, thanks for saying. trying to stay busy and talking to friends and people online has really given me a much needed perspective on things. all the same, it's 4am and I need to stop thinking about how much it hurts not to have him a phone call away.
but thanks again, I won't be chasing after him anymore.

[Sil]

I know what you're feeling right now, and it's awful. You feel like you can't keep going, and that there's no point in trying again. I do know this also - it will pass. Maybe not in the next few days, or weeks, or months, but eventually. The more distance you can put between yourself and something that hurts you, the clearer your perspective will be on it. I don't agree with trying to snap yourself out of it, but I do think you should spend some time with a good friend who'll listen to you and take some time out so you can get it off your chest. Just remember that you'll get through this, and there are people who'll be there for you until you do.

peace x

[Bowyn Aerrow]

One sentence only counts here:

But it's his recurring insensitivity, selfishness, and lack of compassion that constantly disturbs me.

That attitude of his ain't going to change. That is the man you married. don't like it, divorce. He is not going to change being who he is.

Sorry.

[Comicbooktatt2]

Thanks Sil and Bowyn Aerrow. I've found some form of solace the past few days and there's a level of acceptance, finally. It's been exactly 1 week. So, this is how it all works. *mind blown*
I think I will contact him in the coming days...