I'm a 16 year old bi male (complete virgin) and a month ago I ended up on Craigslist looking for a hookup (not sex, just blowjobs). This guy emailed me who was in his late 30s or early 40s and we met up and gave each other blowjobs (I said on Craigslist that I was 18) but after I felt really bad about what I did...Well the guy and I continued talking a little more and a week later we met at this hotel and I gave him another blowjob thinking I wouldn't feel as bad after it this time, but I did and we stopped talking. I tried staying away from Craigslist but 2 weeks after that I couldnt fight the "sexual urge" and I posted another ad just like the first (once again saying that I was 18) and another guy in his early 30s emailed me and we met up and he gave me a blowjob (I didnt give him one). I just feel like a really bad, dirty and extremely desperate person for doing this over Craigslist AND with 2 guys sooo much older than me and the first guy being my first blowjob (btw I have no feelings for either of these guys)!! Like I said before I have never done anything with a guy at all and I just really wanted to see what it would be like. I've made a promise to myself to not post anymore ads on craigslist! Am I a horrible person for doing all this? I just really need advice! Thanks so much!
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08-20-2013, 01:20 AM
(Edited 08-20-2013, 01:24 AM by Kenny221.)
Wow, you've got balls my friend...but having balls doesn't mean what you did was necessarily a good thing. What you did was extremely dangerous, and I hope you won't do it again for your safety. Use your hand, that's what it's there for..
I can't say that I haven't tried a simliar thing before. Like I said, hormones at our age can make us want to do really stupid stuff. Luckily , I had the self-control NOT to follow through, and I really hope that next time you have these urges, you don't follow through with them. What I'm really worried about is that you're hooking up with people on craiglist. Craiglist is a extremely dangerous place to be lookn for those type of stuff. There are chances of you getting STDS and etc. You NEED to learn how to control your own urges.
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You really need to learn some impulse control, but that's difficult at your age. I'd say ditch your computer (and if I were your mom I'd take it away from you, including your phone if applicable) but I suppose that would affect other areas of your life enough to draw attention to yourself that you don't need (though you could say it's just an experiment).
Main thing I'm worried about is you meeting up with the wrong person, some people get really bizarre about sex, like they might feel just as terrible as you so project their feelings of self-loathing into you and become abusive or even homicidal (after all, they want what you're offering so in their sick mind it's YOUR fault, you MADE them filthy, and they'll punish you for it...). I'm not saying it's likely, but it's a danger. STDs (and yes you can catch STDs from oral sex, and btw, it IS sex no matter what Bill Clinton said) and the like are even greater dangers.
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Whatever it takes,[SIZE="6"] STOP IT!!![/SIZE]
Meeting random anonymous guys at your age puts you at risk for your immediate safety and at risk for picking up STD's. Some are passed skin to skin, no penetration required. As easily as you lied about your age, they can lie about being DDF (drug and disease free).
Lying about your age also puts the other guy at huge legal risk, since you are under age. If you are discovered by your parents or anyone else, the consequences could be terrible for your adult sexual partners. They think they are hooking up with a consenting adult, but they could be labeled "sex offenders" for life, lose their job, their families, etc, etc.
I give you credit for asking for advice here, and I hope you take it. You are not a horrible person. You're just horny as hell. It's fine to experiment responsibly with other people your age. Just don't put other people at risk for your own brief gratification. That is something you can feel bad about!
PS: A blowjob is sex, by the way.
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So what you all are saying is I should just wait for someone my age to start a relationship with? Ok, I'm no longer hooking up over Craigslist :'( I feel horrible and so desperate for even trying that! Should I forgive myself and move on??
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Nobody said "just wait," go out and find yourself a stud! Just be sure he's under 18. If you want to wait for a more meaningful relationship that's great too, but many guys your age are just starting to experiment with sex. With a little effort you should be able to find someone more appropriate than a middle-aged guy off of craigslist.
If you are attracted to older men, that's fine too. Just wait until you are 18 to go sexual with them.
YES! Forgive yourself and move on. Sex can be insanely confusing when you're 16 (or 26, 36, 46...) Be grateful no one got hurt. Don't do it again, and don't beat yourself up.
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Well do you think this feeling I have will go away? Like I feel dirty or like a whore
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Can you go into the chatrroom sid? It's much easier to talk to you that way....anyways. Yes. It'll go away. I think you're just in shocked because you realized you did something stupid and dangerous.
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So if I ever feel the need to meet up with a guy that's older than me from Craigslist, I just need to control it and wait for someone my age? Ok, but hopefully this feeling will wear off
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I don't know how long it will take for the feeling to wear off, but if it makes you feel better I think we all cringe remembering our teen years, typically including sexually stupid and/or impulsive things we did.
Generally speaking, one can often feel better by getting control over the problem, so once you get into the habit (it takes practice!) of impulse control so you don't do this then hopefully you can put it behind you, and hopefully count yourself lucky that no serious harm came to you before you did.
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