How To Attract Good People In Your Life

[Dreamer]

I can't count how many times I've been manipulated
and consequently taken advantage of.


I'm sick and tired of it.


I just found out a money order I made was stolen,
and just got the photocopy from the money order company
signed by the person who cashed it
(who was an old friend of my dad's).


That money was for my rent.


Before that, in November of last year,
I had my first ever "fling" with a hot neighbor,
of which I wrote about in the thread labeled "Twilight Zone".
He ended up stealing my Playstation 3.





I know I put myself in these situations,
knowing these people are sketchy
because my gut-feeling says so,
but I give them the benefit of the doubt
trying my best not to be jaded,
but then they screw me over.


This is honestly the last time I ignore that voice in my head
telling me to run for the hills,
when someone crosses paths with me.


Now, I have two questions:


[SIZE="5"][COLOR="Red"]1. How do I know when to really trust
and allow people into my life,
while not becoming jaded
from all the shitty people who've hurt me in the past?[/COLOR][/SIZE]


2. How do I attract good people in my life?

[jimcrackcorn]

You never know when some lowlife is going to cross your path and take advantage of you. They could be family members, friends, or total strangers.

I've even had family members (on my husbands side) who stole the sheets & pillow cases off the bed when they came to visit!!!

All I can advise is - assume everyone is a thief until they prove otherwise, and lock up all your valuables when guest are in your home.

[Genersis]

1) Hard to figure out, just try your best when judging people's personalities, and hope luck falls on your side.

2) Be lucky.

Wish I had better advice, but I don't.
All I can do is wish you luck, sorry...

[MisterTinkles]

If you ever figure that out, PLEASE let me know!!!

I seem to attract the same types you do. Which is why I am pretty much a hermit and not a "friendly" like my sister is. As my sis puts it, Im the type you have to get to know, before you get to know me.

I make it that way on purpose, to weed out these types. And believe me, there are MILLIONS of them!

[Wade]

1. Be conscious of your jadedness and fight against it. You seem to be doing that already. You can't always protect yourself from people with ill intentions, just accept that bad things may happen and keep trusting people. It's better than the alternative: becoming a cynical person who shuts himself off from the world.

2. Put bacon in your pockets.

[Waylon777]

Agree with the people above. There's no way to tell if someone is "good" or not, unless if you have telepathy or mind reading super powers, then it might help. I tend to trust people first before doubting, so that made some friendships go haywire once or twice. Just go along and observe as much as you can to know if the person is good or not. you can also ask your friends to judge the characters.

[Pix]

One useful thing is to watch how they treat others and act. For example, people who talk trash about others to you on a regular basis WILL talk trash about you to others the same way. If they have a tendency to cheat others (or to say park in a handicap parking spot when they're not supposed to) then they'll be just as untrustworthy with you.

I suppose if I was as worried about it as you then I might leave some loose change or even a dollar or (my favorite as I don't smoke) a pack of cigarettes, or with gamer friends a video game you don't want (or even better, broken) that are seen by someone looking for something to steal (like not in the middle of the table but near an edge, and make it easy to steal. If that person comes and goes regularly and it doesn't get swiped (natch, be sure to check after they leave so you're sure enough it was them) then they're probably trustworthy.

I've noticed a large percentage of thieves, scam artists, and worse love to leave overt signs of a religion about (or even talk about it) which I believe is to both get people to let their guard down and to make them easier to manipulate into doing something unwise. It's common enough that I went to another store because when I walked in I saw crosses and religious pictures everywhere (to be clear it's not because I thought they were Christian but because they were trying too hard to get me to trust and/or use them, I had serious doubts about their actually being Christian as I did of their being trustworthy enough not to rip me off). It's so bad I know of a vet who makes a loud pronouncement of his being Catholic to all who enter his office who tried padding the bill of someone who's cat he'd just euthanized claiming to have rendered several services that he didn't, and it wasn't an "honest mistake." Just to be clear someone wearing a subtle cross easily overlooked isn't a bell for me, but someone wearing a large cross that can't be missed (unless it's expected for them) IS and I watch that person extra close.

[Pix]

I just found out a money order I made was stolen,
and just got the photocopy from the money order company
signed by the person who cashed it
(who was an old friend of my dad's).


That money was for my rent.

Btw, what are you doing about this? I'd be curious how this works out. I DO hope you're pressing charges against this guy rather than enabling him. And your dad should back you.

[MisterLove]

Just say no.

It's a tricky question, I guess there are no rules and intuition plays an important role, as well. The best advice I can give you this: pay close attention, the devil is in the details. People show their true character in the smallest things: e.g. how they treat animals or how they deal with weaker people.

[Dreamer]

I've noticed a large percentage of thieves, scam artists, and worse love to leave overt signs of a religion about (or even talk about it) which I believe is to both get people to let their guard down and to make them easier to manipulate into doing something unwise. It's common enough that I went to another store because when I walked in I saw crosses and religious pictures everywhere (to be clear it's not because I thought they were Christian but because they were trying too hard to get me to trust and/or use them, I had serious doubts about their actually being Christian as I did of their being trustworthy enough not to rip me off).

That's funny because I've taken notice of that too.


If someone's uber-religious, I'm extra cautious.


But,
I still like too give people a chance
to prove my suspicions wrong...
and I take the fall for it... :frown:
but not anymore!