straight buddy made out with me, any meaning behind it?

[jeffc320]

Let me explain a bit about my situation so that you might be better able to understand my confusion. So i'm still in the closet, all my buddies are straight and i consider myself pretty straight acting. I've never talked/flirted/hooked up with a dude so i'm super confused and at a total loss. Well over the weekend me and a bunch of buddies when out on the town. We all got pretty drunk and everyone ended up crashing at my place. I have one buddy who I've been crushing on for a last few months. No one knows i'm gay, especially not him. Well anyway after a long night of drinking it's not uncommon for me to crash on the couch. Sometimes i'm too drunk to make it up to my bedroom (my room is on the 3rd floor). And In my drunken state I've crashed next to this buddy that I've been crushing on, on numerous occasions. It's never been intimate like a cuddle session or anything we usually just pass out with our heads near/facing each other. He's totally straight, no gay vibes at all, pretty much a bro's bro.

Anyway, the other night when i crashed on the couch i woke up from what i thought was my buddy just getting comfortable in his sleep and he happened to wrap his arm over me. Assuming he was just drunk, i attempted to move his arm off by grabbing his hand and lifting it off. That's when he grabbed my hand to hold it... I was super confused and was in a shocked "oh ****" moment and let him hold my hand for a bit (less then like 15 seconds i would guess). Assuming that he was just drunk i said his name quietly to which he responded "huh?" So i said "hey man, you ok?" Which he then responded with a "yeah" then held me/my hand a bit tighter. Up until this point i hadn't looked up at him yet since i was woken from my sleep by this and assumed he was still asleep to so finally i glance up at him. He gives me the sexiest damn lazy smile to which think to myself F*ck it and went in for a kiss. Then to my surprise he rolled with it! Long story short we made out for awhile. During which i stopped and asked once again if he was ok, then stopped a second time to ask if he was sure about this. Both times he responded with a casual "yeah". I was super drunk so i'm not sure when/why we fell back asleep but we did and i woke up later while hes still sleeping and ran up to my bedroom. He came in later that morning and acted as if nothing happened. The first thing he did ask me was if i came up and slept in my room the entire night which i lied and responded with a yes but there was no unusual response to my lie. We both talked about how the end of our night was kind of spotty (mine included besides for this epic end to the night) but neither mentioned what happened we mainly just talked about the bars/clubs we went to and what we remembered before the night got spotty.

So now i'm confused about the whole situation. We both were super drunk but but when i was talking to him during the whole thing he didn't seem completely out of it. Do you think he really doesn't remember or just didn't want to talk about it? I've hung out with him for the last two days since this night and nothings been weird at all. It's as if nothing happened. Also, do any of you think he might be gay/curious or was it just a super drunk night and it just happened to get weird? Maybe its just me being hopeful but could he be attracted to me too? Sorry for making such a long post, but any advice would be greatly appreciated. Like i said I've never been in any sort of situation such as this so im at a complete lost and without being out to anyone i don't really have anyone to talk it over with. Thanks in advance for the responses!

[Bowyn Aerrow]

It means that two individuals maybe shouldn't get so drunk as they did that night....

Alcohol and drugs lead to a lot of silly stupid mistakes.

Yeah sure he could be a closet case, he could be bisexual, he could be anything = however the use of "I was drunk" defense isn't going to be useful in determining what and who he is.

Your mistake was lying to him. Honestly the next time this happens (yeah, its going to happen again) when he asks you what went on the night before be honest and tell him exactly what happened.

In fact just stop lying to him about who and what you are... Sheesh. He most likely is not talking about it because he ASKED you what happened and you played it off. A web of deceit is often a tangled web indeed. He most likely thinks you are are straight as much as you think he is straight and since you two clearly can't talk unless you are drinking.... or other activities....

On the off chance that both of you are homosexuals and both in the closet and both refusing to tell each other - how would this really play out? Aren't you acting like a 'bro's bro' as much as him? Aren't you totally playing it straight and being 'totally straight' with the bro?


Totally straight - no gay vibes.... Seriously - you think there is a certain vibe to homosexuals? Tell me, do you put off this gay vibe? I mean you must right, you being gay so he (and everyone else) already knows your gay because of your gay vibe....

Geez - am I the only one with a hurting head with that logic? If you are not putting out a gay vibe and you know you are gay (no one else does), then isn't it possible that like you he is gay and just not putting it out there (vibe form or otherwise)?

Look at my current signature, Anthony Perkins in his role as Norman Bates - is Mr. Perkins putting off a 'gay vibe'? If not then I have a little surprise for you....: http://www.imdb.com/list/gLCWnzKde1k/

If you are not up on the who's who of Gay Hollywood that list may actually hold a few surprises for you.

Zachary Quinto Spock of the new Startrek Movies or Sylar of Heroes - did you know he was gay, does he put off a gay vibe? Well he is as queer as me.

My point, there is no way to tell if a person is LGBT unless they say something - usually - yeah I know there are those who are openly and obviously whatever they are, but there are a lot of 'straight acting' people in the world who are no obviously LGBT.

There is two ways and only two ways this can go.

Never, ever drink with him and never ever talk about that lovely time you two had.

OR figure out a way to come out to him and see what happens.

Do not make the mistake of getting drunk with him to use the excuse 'I had a wee bit too much to drink thus I wasn't really being responsible that night'. Own up to what happen, own up to your feelings with him.

Yes there is a risk he will run away screaming to the hills to get away from you. Rejection happens a lot in life - get used to it. however there is also an indicator here that not only will he tolerate your homosexuality, he may actually be very interested in exploring that with you.

You won't know until you sit down and talk with him.

[jeffc320]

It means that two individuals maybe shouldn't get so drunk as they did that night....

Alcohol and drugs lead to a lot of silly stupid mistakes.

Yeah sure he could be a closet case, he could be bisexual, he could be anything = however the use of "I was drunk" defense isn't going to be useful in determining what and who he is.

Your mistake was lying to him. Honestly the next time this happens (yeah, its going to happen again) when he asks you what went on the night before be honest and tell him exactly what happened.

In fact just stop lying to him about who and what you are... Sheesh. He most likely is not talking about it because he ASKED you what happened and you played it off. A web of deceit is often a tangled web indeed. He most likely thinks you are are straight as much as you think he is straight and since you two clearly can't talk unless you are drinking.... or other activities....

On the off chance that both of you are homosexuals and both in the closet and both refusing to tell each other - how would this really play out? Aren't you acting like a 'bro's bro' as much as him? Aren't you totally playing it straight and being 'totally straight' with the bro?


Totally straight - no gay vibes.... Seriously - you think there is a certain vibe to homosexuals? Tell me, do you put off this gay vibe? I mean you must right, you being gay so he (and everyone else) already knows your gay because of your gay vibe....

Geez - am I the only one with a hurting head with that logic? If you are not putting out a gay vibe and you know you are gay (no one else does), then isn't it possible that like you he is gay and just not putting it out there (vibe form or otherwise)?

Look at my current signature, Anthony Perkins in his role as Norman Bates - is Mr. Perkins putting off a 'gay vibe'? If not then I have a little surprise for you....:

If you are not up on the who's who of Gay Hollywood that list may actually hold a few surprises for you.

Spock of the new Startrek Movies or Sylar of Heroes - did you know he was gay, does he put off a gay vibe? Well he is as queer as me.

My point, there is no way to tell if a person is LGBT unless they say something - usually - yeah I know there are those who are openly and obviously whatever they are, but there are a lot of 'straight acting' people in the world who are no obviously LGBT.

There is two ways and only two ways this can go.

Never, ever drink with him and never ever talk about that lovely time you two had.

OR figure out a way to come out to him and see what happens.

Do not make the mistake of getting drunk with him to use the excuse 'I had a wee bit too much to drink thus I wasn't really being responsible that night'. Own up to what happen, own up to your feelings with him.

Yes there is a risk he will run away screaming to the hills to get away from you. Rejection happens a lot in life - get used to it. however there is also an indicator here that not only will he tolerate your homosexuality, he may actually be very interested in exploring that with you.

You won't know until you sit down and talk with him.

valid points

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Let me give you a tip about life and regrets. Few people have regrets over what they have done - most regret those things they didn't do. For instance my deepest and most profound regret is Bradly.

I made a huge mistake in not taking risks with him. 20/20 hindsight being what is it, I lived long enough to be able to look back at what I missed out on because I was too afraid to take a risk there.

I would prefer in this you learn from my mistake and not make a similar error and make a huge regret that you will look back at 20 some odd years from now.

[LONDONER]

My answer was going to be very brief: "Don't get drunk" but Bowyn Aerrow has put it in to more eloquent words.

[justbry87]

I wish my experiences with random make out's were as intimate, lol

It's usually at a loud setting where my drunk ass best gay friend grabs
me and gives me the sloppiest kiss ever :x

But it's just that, a kiss and a drunk one at that. To me it doesn't really
mean anything, just something we bring up with each other in a later
time and laugh about it ;D

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Congratulations, you have just found out what the difference is between a straight guy and a gay guy.

It's usually 5/6 beers, or any other alcohol you care to mention.

As others have said, you can't read too much into this encounter when so much alcohol was involved.

I like BA's advice. Why not sit him down somewhere quiet and come out to him. See where that journey takes you. However one word of caution. Do not at this stage even remotely hint that you have a crush on him.

Keep us posted and good luck!

ObW.
X

[jeffc320]

Congratulations, you have just found out what the difference is between a straight guy and a gay guy.

It's usually 5/6 beers, or any other alcohol you care to mention.

As others have said, you can't read too much into this encounter when so much alcohol was involved.

I like BA's advice. Why not sit him down somewhere quiet and come out to him. See where that journey takes you. However one word of caution. Do not at this stage even remotely hint that you have a crush on him.

Keep us posted and good luck!

ObW.
X

Yeah i don't plan on letting him know i've been crushing. That could get super awkward super fast haha but we're making a dudes trip to Vegas with him and a bunch of buddies tomorrow-sunday so maybe something will come out of it.

[jeffc320]

I like BA's advice. Why not sit him down somewhere quiet and come out to him. See where that journey takes you. However one word of caution. Do not at this stage even remotely hint that you have a crush on him.

Keep us posted and good luck!

ObW.
X

Yeah,didnt plan on letting him know i was crushing on the guy. That could get very awkward very fast. Heading to Vegas together until sunday so maybe something will come of it who knows

[jamesv32]

All I can say is that I had a friend like yours where we would get drunk, he would stay over and when we passed out he would spoon with me. But say he was straight. We were always good friends & he knew how I felt about him because I told him while drunk. We ended up having sex and then it kind of ruined it for us. It strengthened my feelings toward him but weakened his. We are no longer speaking to each other. Bottom line is if you value your friendship put those other feelings aside. Or if you cant like in my case, just remember that you may not be friends afterwards.