Straight woman seeking advice from preferably gay men

[hank]

All he admits to is having oral sex with men. Had he been honest from the beginning or did you catch him? Having a same sex attraction and attempting to hide it can be deeper than how it appears on face value. It's not necessarily how he feels about you but how he feels about himself.

If he has never concealed this from you I wouldn't be incredibly concerned. But if you found things in his cell phone and asked him then he confessed he may not be completely honest. I hate to say it this way but he has already lied to you.

Ask yourself this, do you believe that it's just a blow job? If it is dose out only remain a blow job? Why does he find men to do it? Women will give head also.

I think there is something fishy here. Never met a straight guy that would have oral sex with another guy, but I certainly haven't met everybody. Could it be that simple, sure.

In the end it falls on you, can you live with this?

[princealbertofb]

Just so I don't add something that has already been said, it seems to me that he might well be completely straight (in his head) and not admit to having any gay tendencies, but he still is having msm relations (Men who have Sex with Men) which doesn't mean he identifies at all with what it means to be gay, which some would define as feeling not only a sexual but also a mental and emotional attraction to members of one's own sex.
I'd be interested in knowing what kink it is that he needs to get fellatio from a man, if you, yourself are perfectly willing to perform it with him... (maybe you aren't?). His sexual practices may need to be varied while his heart and libido are mostly towards the opposite gender. It would be for him to tell what makes a fellatio given by a man more special.
What circumstances did he have it done in? Has it happened more than once? Was it just curiosity? Was he drunk when it happened? Some of the questions I'd ask to understand where this is all coming from, and where it might lead.
Oh, and just to throw in a little more advice, remind him that it is perfectly possible to contract a sexually transmitted disease from a blow job. So what did he do to protect you?
Take care.

[princealbertofb]

All he admits to is having oral sex with men. Had he been honest from the beginning or did you catch him? Having a same sex attraction and attempting to hide it can be deeper than how it appears on face value. It's not necessarily how he feels about you but how he feels about himself.

If he has never concealed this from you I wouldn't be incredibly concerned. But if you found things in his cell phone and asked him then he confessed he may not be completely honest. I hate to say it this way but he has already lied to you.

Ask yourself this, do you believe that it's just a blow job? If it is dose out only remain a blow job? Why does he find men to do it? Women will give head also.

I think there is something fishy here. Never met a straight guy that would have oral sex with another guy, but I certainly haven't met everybody. Could it be that simple, sure.

In the end it falls on you, can you live with this?

Yes, some women will give head, but who are we talking about? Would he have to be looking for a female prostitute? Would a randomly picked up girl do it? Maybe not so easily and readily as a randy male. It takes one to know one. Maybe it was easier for him to get a blow job from a man.

[Matt]

Do you know how many straight guys I've blown? Plenty. Guys like head. If you're not giving it, they'll go where they can get it. In the brain of a guy, a mouth is a mouth. Wouldn't be worried that he's bi. Now if he ask you to bone him with a strap on then I'd be concerned.


Actually I'd be more pissed that he was getting some on the side but that's just me.

[Undreamt]

My advice is, try and work out your own opinion on the matter first.

Why does it matter if he admits to anything or not.

Does it bother you that he has been with men?
Are you concerned because he might not be being honest with you or with himself?

What is your opinion on sex? Have you discussed it.
Is not being strightly monogamous a deal breaker for you?
(and I'm NOT talking cheating here, cheating is wrong, healthy communication and setting predefined boundaries to allow for growth can be benificial however)

I've slept naked in a bed with two straight men and nothing has happened.
I know plenty of straight people that are comfortable in their sexuality and have their limits. They have fooled around at times but they know its not for them.

I also know plenty of people that are in the closet and wouldn't admit to anything on their death bed.

I'm happy to go into more detail, some things for the sake of my friends privacy I don't like to mention in channel. but If you want to chat in more detail feel free to message me.

[partis]

sex is a lot in the mind, he may be thinking of other things when hes recieving oral, maybe its something you refuse to do but he really like (gosh that would be a suprise) as ive heard woman who flat out refuse to suck cock or simply cant do it good

[Counselor]

So i guess i just want to know is it possible to be straight and not attracted to the same sex and yet engage in sexual activities with the same sex? Also is it possible to be gay and still love sex with women and get turned on by women and have no problem reaching climax/performing?

I'm sorry, but the answer is yes to both. Some straight men that are secure in their sexuality can reconcile homosexual activity, and still be straight, and some gay men can suppress their sexuality to the point that they can "perform" with regular "success". If he says he is straight, you must accept that answer. If he says he has been stepping out, however, that is an answer you don't need to accept unless you were aware of it beforehand or immediately after.

If your concern is if he will leave you, ask him. Don't demand an immediate answer, tell him to take his time and answer honestly when he is ready.

[Rosie]

Now if he ask you to bone him with a strap on then I'd be concerned.

I agreed with everything you said until this, which I think is very dangerous grounds. It's comments like this that make straight men afraid to talk about what they want with their partners for fear of being labeled as gay. And come on I am forever hearing about the male prostate being the equivalent of the female g-spot -- shouldn't every man be enjoying that!?

[nfisher1226]

I am forever hearing about the male prostate being the equivalent of the female g-spot -- shouldn't every man be enjoying that!?

I think it's a pretty small subset of the male population that even have any frame of reference on that one. Most straight men just simply don't know what they're missing there. Plus, in order to get to that point there's a more than fair amount of discomfort and sometimes even pain to get through first. To most straight men, straight sex is awesome enough that they're not going to look any further.

We haven't heard back from the OP, but I'd like to point out that she did say this all happened previously. A fair amount of you assumed it was happening while they were together, while I assumed it wasn't.

To clarify a couple things, if he's done this while being a couple with her, and without her knowledge or consent, that's cheating and doesn't need to be tolerated. If it happened before they were together then the pertinent question boils down to how she feels about it. And if it's such a bothersome thing, why? Really why?

I mean, the question is being asked to a group of gay and/or bi men and women. I enjoy sex with men and see nothing wrong with that. If she can't handle that he had a man on man experience "previously" then I see that as her problem to get over. Am I the only one thinking of this side of it?

The fact is one of the root causes of homophobia stems from people viewing gay or bi men as less manly than straight men. It's one of the biggest reasons men and teenage boys take offense at others insinuating they might be gay. It's like saying that a guy is less of a man. It's absolutely untrue and I for one resent it. Nothing I do with my private parts should have any bearing on what kind of man anybody thinks I am. I'm 100% sure that it has no effect on what kind of man I am in reality, so all I'm asking for is for all the straight people to acknowledge that too.

There are a large number of women who will openly say they'd never date a bisexual man, because they want to be with a "real man". I'm hoping this isn't another case of that, but I have my suspicions.

So now will the real slim shady please answer her own thread?