Can someone "turn" gay?

[TonyAndonuts]

So, I'm starting to come to terms with me possibly being bisexual (or at the very least bi-curious). I still watch gay porn, still enjoy it, and I'm even starting to notice attractive guys in real life now. There's one guy at my job who I always feel the need to glance at whenever I pass him by. The thing is, I didn't used to be this way. I always liked girls and never really paid guys any attention unless they were kind of in your face or very noticeable. It wasn't until I decided I wanted to learn more about the gay community that I started thinking of guys in a sexual way and started looking at gay porn. So I'm wondering if being exposed to the stuff made me bi-curious or if I've always been and I finally let it out. I mean I'm sure there are plenty of straight people that wanted to learn more about the gay community, but remained straight. Has anyone else discovered their gay side because they exposed themselves to it instead of it just coming to them? Does it feel like you turned gay because of it? I know a lot of people fear that exposing their children to gay stuff will turn them gay, but a lot of other people equally believe that you can't change someone's sexuality just like you can't change the color of someone's skin. Which is true?

[EvenOlderButWiser]

I don't believe you can turn gay, be turned gay or catch gayness.

There is a part of you that subconsciously wants to be close to another man. You can call it curiosity and you can dismiss it as being bi-curious or some other convenient label. Its just a part of you, and you can choose to act on it or ignore it completely. Your choice.

As for the exposing children to gay stuff remark, well you've been listening to too many homophobes.

ObW
X

[Edward]

No, you cannot turn gay or become gay. If you're hetero, you'll be hetero till your last breath.

[Blake]

I agree with the previous 2 posters.
There is no way anyone can be 'turned' gay (although there lots of this in M/M fictions written by straight people).

The gayness has been with you since you've been born and while some people realize they are gay at young ages (I knew I was gay when I was in second grade), others do not.

Exposure to gay material simply awaken what is inside of you, it does not materialize gayness out of nothingness

[yoyoyo148]

No you can't magically turn gay just like that. You were born "straight" because everyone around you was straight like your parents. We're living in a very straight world people consider us 'different' and themselves 'normal'. Because everyone is straight until proven otherwise! Ofc there're some special people who find out who they really are at a young age but still, they didn't know before. Before 'coming out' there's a stage where you realize you are not actually straight and then there's the stage where you accept yourself at some point and getting ready to tell the world. So it takes time. You don't turn gay, bi, transgender.. you always have been but you didn't realize before. I can probably say that if you wanna know more about the community and you're saying you are attracted to others of the same sex and you walk around always curious chances are that you might be gay or bi. But let the time show you because it will. Don't let your thoughts ruin your life.

[Sylph]

[COLOR="Blue"]In my completely unprofessional opinion;

If you see fit the need to learn or integrate into a culture you were not before affliated with, you are curious. Point blank.

Now whether you are curious for personal reasons of feeling like that's where you belong or find more akin to yourself than who you are now, than that's something you would know or have to figure out.

To bring the colour of someone's skin into this; Take White people who embrace the black culture(historically speaking, I get the whole "no restrictions to race" thing, but hey) and wanna be rappers and all that stuff. Eminem for example.

While he is White, he displays stereotypically black traits and even while he does so, he never loses sight of the fact he is White.

If you are Straight or what ever you are, you can have a curiosity or attraction to to someone/a gender or 2, but it doesn't mean you have to throw yourself into being one way or another or whatever, or that the exposure necessarily changed you.

While it's true you tend to have traits and expressions and characteristics of where you grew up / were raised/ frequent, rub off and ingrained into who you are, it does not define who you are.

Which I think was my main point, but I just had to say alot to get there lol. But Regardless!!

Everyone was born sexual, and only over time do we garner preferences based on our likes and dislikes in life, so if you've now developed or gained an interest in men, then you've a preference or attraction to men, not because you've researched them to the T, but it's something that you obviously like.

Heck what do I know >< I'm just a numphy mouse >.> [/COLOR]

[Joshular]

Yes you can 'turn' gay
Many people have
They maybe have been gay before but are gay now.
There is a spectrum of sexuality/gender identity or queerness.
People can move along this spectrum. But no one can turn someone gay.
I have a couple bisexual friends who often are one day more attracted to men and another day more attracted to women. People may turn gay of their own free will, or turn straight. But I don't think it's very common for people to turn from heterosexual to homosexual.

[partis]

When you say "it was only when i wanted to learn more of the gay community that i started to find guys attractive" - there must of been a reason you wanted to learn, maybe you wanted love or sex or affection and realised you can find it in other places, no one can tell you if your gay or not, though if you look at a man and you think "i love that man" then perhaps you can say your a wee bit gay, who cares how you get there, does it matter that title to you so much, just be you tonyAndonuts :-)

[Bowyn Aerrow]

To be contrary, yes a person can be turned gay.

However this is usually a result of trauma, for instance a woman who was raped may turn to lesbianism in order to satisfy her need for intimacy/companionship having lost trust in the male species.

In your case, you are most likely gay-bi-bent and are just coming to terms with it. Unless you have been traumatized and turned off of women?

[Pix]

a lot of people fear that exposing their children to gay stuff will turn them gay

One thing I do know is the vast majority of children exposed to gays, including in their personal lives, remain straight. Likewise, banning all mention of homosexuality (especially in the media) did not stop people from being gay.

And btw, plenty of straight men love having other men involved in their sex, sometimes even to look at their penis. I'm too lazy to look up the research that tracked the internet searches that found this to be true, though I've linked to it repeatedly on this site before. Thing was, they weren't gay or bi.