partis Wrote:When you say "it was only when i wanted to learn more of the gay community that i started to find guys attractive" - there must of been a reason you wanted to learn
It was basically because I didn't want to remain ignorant on the subject like a lot of my friends are. Most of my friends, while they don't exactly hate gay people, are very insensitive to them. They make gay jokes a lot, use "gay" and "fag" as an insult without hesitation, don't like talking about gay people in any kind of serious way, and talk about a "gay looking" person they see walking down the street or something mockingly. Although, if they were actually confronted by a gay person or forced to converse with one, they'd probably try and be polite.
After I took a college course on sexuality, it also opened my eyes to LGBT and I wanted to learn more since we're entering a world where it's slowly but steadily becoming more acceptable and I didn't want to be one of those people still uneducated and hateful. When I was young, gay stuff freaked me the hell out, gave me shivers, made me extremely uncomfortable. Well I can safely say it sure doesn't anymore...
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Your gayness just got triggered :b
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TonyAndonuts Wrote:It was basically because I didn't want to remain ignorant on the subject like a lot of my friends are. Most of my friends, while they don't exactly hate gay people, are very insensitive to them. They make gay jokes a lot, use "gay" and "fag" as an insult without hesitation, don't like talking about gay people in any kind of serious way, and talk about a "gay looking" person they see walking down the street or something mockingly. Although, if they were actually confronted by a gay person or forced to converse with one, they'd probably try and be polite.
After I took a college course on sexuality, it also opened my eyes to LGBT and I wanted to learn more since we're entering a world where it's slowly but steadily becoming more acceptable and I didn't want to be one of those people still uneducated and hateful. When I was young, gay stuff freaked me the hell out, gave me shivers, made me extremely uncomfortable. Well I can safely say it sure doesn't anymore...
[COLOR="SeaGreen"]I think I said this somewhere else.
Just like it's "Okay" for straight gurls to go bi for a try and it be okay, then so should guys, because until they have an insight on anything, they should say nothing.
And people who use slander as a form of entertainment and then try to put up a face towards the very people to whom then slander, are fake ass bitches and gross.
Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Don't come to me with a smile and stab me in my back.
I'm sorry, but I couldn't have friends like that. But regardless, it's great you are making strives to atleast be educated.
Just don't Bring Odi around  I'm too big a fag to contain  [/COLOR]
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To answer your posted question, no.
No one can "turn" gay. You either are or you are not.
Some people really dont have a preference, they are attracted to who they are attracted too....men or women. Some people call them "bisexuals", but to me they are just more.....well, generic human beings. I dont believe in "bisexuals". I just think they are people who have no labels restricting them to who they are attracted too.
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I kind of feel like straight people are the ones that shouldn't be labeled. Straight is regarded as the norm after all. Labels are only really necessary when you come across something that goes beyond that norm like gay/lesbian or bisexual. And I don't really get the idea of a label restricting someone. The label is there because of what they feel inside in the first place. If a guy loves girls but isn't attracted to guys and has no interest in being with a guy sexually or romantically, then they're straight. It's not the label of being straight that's restricting them from being with a guy, they just don't want to be with a guy.
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To the above post....no sir, straight is not the norm, nor the rule, nor the standard...
norms, rules, standards are subectives terms for what people consider right in a certain time, context and culture..
the norm, rule, standard before WWI was kings and empires and subjugation.
the norm, rule, standard now is democracies...however flawed
the norm, rule, standard years ago was racial segregation...it's not anymore, however it may still be prevalent here and there
the norm, the rule, the standard was women's role in motherhood housekeeping andn nothing more
the norm, the rule, the standard now is for women to gain acces to the same opportunities as men (not everywhere, sure, but still)
Forgive me if Im incurring in insulting you, but stating that straight is the rule and bi/gay/lesbian goes beyoned the normal..is idiotic, nonsensic, and ignorant, not to mention offensive..
To go beyond a rule, to act outside the norm, is the result of a personal decision....being gay or lesbian or bi is not...I for one didn't wake up one day and said "I'm gonna like dudes now"..it doesnt work that way
Regarding the OP
I don't believe "turn" is the right word for it but yes..
I'll elaborate:
chromosomes: XX combo makes women, XY makes men...no way of genetically change that
However, sexual orientation is a matter of psychology as much as anatomy/physiology
there are several variables that can make up for sexual orientation, including conditioning, outside experiences an such....
the crucial time for "turning" to happen is during childhood, were people are bound to form a mental image of men and women and sexuality merely by asexual experiences....like noticing the difference in the voice tone of men and women, noticing the difference in behaviour or even in clothing (one can argue that is men dressed like women and women like men, that could change the child's perception of what's a man and what's a woman)
It's not uncommon for children to have been sexually abused to turn out gay bacause of the trauma...
for example if a girl was abused she would lose trust in men and turn to women...of course not every girl abused will "turn"...
if a boy gets abused by a women, the same, if he gets abused by a man, then you can argue than an uber form of Stockholm syndrome can occur..
I often wonder if my own (short-lived thankfuly) experience with sexual abuse when I was 8 has something to do with me being gay now...I couldn't be sure cause even if I had a tendency towards girls back then I still wasn't of age to be sexually atrtacted to them..
Anyway. my point is that much like any other psychological pattern of behavior, sexual orientation can be modified by many external variables... but "turn" gay is not a good way to describe it...
Maybe it is because many olde folks "discover" that they're gay further on, when in reality the were all along, and were in denial, whether by themselves or by external pressure..
Well, hope my little bit of input helped
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When I said the norm, I didn't mean to say it was the norm because of what society told us. We're attracted to people so we can become sexually interested and reproduce thus keeping our species going, so straight would be the norm in that respect. Gay/lesbian and maybe bisexual isn't, but I'm not saying it's some kind of purposefully deviant behavior because I know it's something they can't choose, believe me, I didn't choose to find guys attractive, I just do. I heard that LGBT make up about 3-5% of the whole population and maybe 10% for people still in the closet. I'm not exactly sure how accurate that is, but if 9 times out of 10 you see someone who's straight, not because society told them to but because they genuinely only like the opposite sex, then it sounds like straight is what you're going to usually see in someone and gay/lesbian isn't as common. Maybe I'm just using the word "norm" incorrectly....
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People who "turn" gay are bisexuals who are scared to admit or unaware that they were never straight.
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pellaz Wrote:straight people, who have no gay acquaintances, no first hand knowledge, always talk about the gay sex, its the first thing that comes out of their mouth.
Please dont define your self by the porn you watch. it is such an unreal portrayal of human sexuality. It is choreographed to make money and to appeal to everyone in the room.
Such words of wisdom, Pellaz! Thanks. It's refreshing. :tongue:
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I don't think you can turn gay.
Being gay is something like being a seed: if you put the seed in earth (the right context) and water it (give it nourishment) it will grow into the plant it was supposed to be.
You must know the saying: "Boys will be boys". I often use that expression to explain the meaning of WILL in that structure. It has nothing to do with something being in the future, nor does it have anything to do with someone wanting something and preferring it over something else. It's the WILL of subtle predictability. It means we've had sufficient example of how boys behave, generally, or enough scientific evidence that things will (in the future) happen a certain way. We'd be surprised if they didn't.
By this phrase we can understand that we should not expect a boy to behave in any other way than a boy or male usually does. The same would apply to girls, I'm guessing. It's the way we are wired.
I often also use the example of how men will urinate standing (because they can without messing up their shoes, owing to their particular piping), and how they often will forget to put the lavatory seat down again for the female users of said lavatory. It makes the ladies mad that we forget that. But we lift the lavatory seat because we know that we might aim our urine badly and hit said seat. So it's a protective measure against soiling.
In the same way I don't think you can turn gay willingly, choosing to be gay as you can decide to have meat or fish for your lunch... I believe that if you are in the right social context (a context where fear or danger aren't prevalent), and given enough support (nourishment, people's approval, or sympathy, the way they show love and caring) you'll be able to grow into the gay person you're meant to be, if that is the seed that's in you.
As it happens our societies have put very strict rules on whether this seed should grow or not, and often it falls in barren land (where only heterosexuality is the norm, or encouraged -- just look at 95% of the advertising we are exposed to daily, and the way people interact with us), which explains why we often feel that we need to be the other plant (a tulip, let's say, instead of a rose). We try to fit in, we try to mould ourselves into the mould that society creates for itself, which is generally a heterosexual mould. It doesn't work for long and gradually, if you are badly nurtured (not given love and caring and support), and set in the wrong soil (among the wrong people - haters or deniers), you'll wither away and die (at least inwardly), or your soul will become sad, maybe depressed and sometimes lead you to self destruction (we're like lemmings, sometimes).
I'd say, rather, that in some cases we are allowed to grow into full-blown flowers of gayness, sometimes we're just undernourished and left by the side of the road to perish. The good thing about plants, though, is that the seeds sometimes get scattered away from their original fields or grounds and then they'll thrive in all kinds of strange places like crevices and cracks in the tarmac... That in itself is an interesting analogy. The fruits that these plants bear may not always be the fruits of the loins, but are often the fruits of creativity, fruits of the imagination, the fruits of art. Shalom! Peace! Salaam! Pace! Mir!
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