This guy finally struck a conversation with me— where should I go with this?

[starbelly]

I've posted about this before as it was totally puzzling to me, but just for a brief rehash: There is this guy who works at a store I go to frequently and I always got this weird sensation that he was coming onto me. He was over-the-top nice to me, went out of his way to help me over other people, made hardcore eye contact, would tell me to "have a lovely night"; it all just seemed like way too much. I wouldn't have necessarily thought any of this signified that he was interested in me, but he seems gay to me and speaks with a bit of a feminine tone. The way he acted toward me always seemed kind of flirtatious.

Anyway, I assumed he quit working at this place because I hadn't seen him there in a month or two. So I went there today after school and, low and behold, he was working. I was surprised, but I was even more surprised when he told me that he'd seen me on the train last night when he was on his way back from school (which is why I assume he isn't working as much). He then told me he was on his way back from a class at the community college which is near my university, and I told him about my night class and that he most definitely saw me, I just didn't see him. I was wildly tired last night so I must have missed his face, but the fact that he brought that up to me seemed too odd to dismiss… I was just kind of thinking to myself "So, you saw me, and…?". I dunno. I get serious vibes that the guy is interested me at this point, but I hope I'm not deluding myself.

For a couple months there I figured I'd never see him again and that that was all done and over with, and then out of the blue he's back working there, and it turns out on top of that he spotted me the night before and had to tell me about it. He said he'd "see me around", and it's probable that I'll run into him Tuesday night since we both take the same train home. I'm wondering if I should expect him to approach me next time he sees me outside his work? Is this irrational for me to even question?

I'm totally interested in him, for the record; just not sure how to properly let him know that without blatantly saying "Hey, I think you're cute, let's go on a date".

[Jovial]

I have no experience to go on, but I would say “Are you ever going to ask me out?” (Why be afraid?)

Worse scenario is he freaks out, or could it be the beginning of something wonderful. Only way to find out is be brave a go for it.

[Dreamer]

I'm totally interested in him, for the record; just not sure how to properly let him know that without blatantly saying "Hey, I think you're cute, let's go on a date".

Why not do just that?


It sounds like there's a mutual interest in taking things to the next level.


You could change the way you say it, as in:
"Hey, you wanna get a bite to eat sometime (or go see a movie) (or get a drink), next time you're free?"


It can only go two ways:
either he'll accept or decline.


My bets on him accepting.


Maybe slip him a piece of paper with your name and number on it,
then say something like:
"Call me sometime, we should hang out."
[SIZE="1"]
That's more of a subtle, friend request approach of doing things.[/SIZE]


If you let your next opportunity slip by,
you might not get another chance,
and if that happens, don't bitch about it later.

[southbiochem]

First things first: if you have an established scenario that you know is going to occur, A.K.A, Thursday night in the train...seize the opportunity

If you see him, don't fe afraid to go and say hi, just casually, and then get into talking...get to casual question about studies, the day whatever and then towards the question "are you seeing anybody?".

study how he reacts towards you the entire time.. dos he smile, does he have his eyes fixed on you...etc..

I know it's not the easiest thing out there but the times I tried this proactive approach it almost worked..and then I was to afraid to say I was gay..

but you may pull it off mile:

best of lucks

[starbelly]

Why not do just that?


You could change the way you say it, like:


"Hey, you wanna get a bite to eat sometime (or go see a movie) (or get a drink), next time you're free?"


It can only go two ways: either he'll accept or decline.


My bets on him accepting.


Maybe slip him a piece of paper with your name and number on it,
then say something like:
"Call me sometime, we should hang out sometime."
[SIZE="1"]
That's more of a subtle, friend request approach of doing things.[/SIZE]


If you let your next opportunity slip by,
you might not get another chance,
and if that happens, don't bitch about it later.

Oh, no, absolutely. I'm just wanting opinions on whether or not it's appropriate or rational for me to be thinking this based on his behavior and actions toward me. I've never properly dated anybody before or REALLY been hit on by a man, so I'm kind of flying by the seat of my pants here and don't know what to be looking for.

His behavior toward me seems way too forward and weird for him to be a straight guy, but I could be misinterpreting it. I just wanted some outside opinions on it, especially based on what happened today, before I jump the gun. I don't wanna kill it even if he is straight, just because he seems like a cool guy who'd make a good friend at the least (although something intuitively tells me he wants to be more than just friends). I just find it unusual for him to bring up the fact that he saw me unbeknownst to me last night— like, would a straight guy come up to me and be like "Hey, I saw you last night"? I don't feel like they would— what would be the point? I didn't even see him, and he said he saw me get on downtown, so he could have been watching me the entire ride for all I know.

I second guess myself on stuff like this though because I feel like I could possibly just be totally misconstruing the situation, and that he could just be being friendly. I feel like I might do this just because my self-confidence isn't the greatest. He aleo did seem sort of nervous when he started talking to me. Like, he was about to say something, stopped, and then looked back at me and then proceeded to tell me he'd seen me. We'll see, I'm sure I'll cross paths with him again, it seems to keep happening even when I thought I'd never run into him again.

[Jovial]

Oh, no, absolutely. I'm just wanting opinions on whether or not it's appropriate or rational for me to be thinking this based on his behavior and actions toward me. I've never properly dated anybody before or REALLY been hit on by a man, so I'm kind of flying by the seat of my pants here and don't know what to be looking for.

His behavior toward me seems way too forward and weird for him to be a straight guy, but I could be misinterpreting it. I just wanted some outside opinions on it, especially based on what happened today, before I jump the gun. I don't wanna kill it even if he is straight, just because he seems like a cool guy who'd make a good friend at the least (although something intuitively tells me he wants to be more than just friends). I just find it unusual for him to bring up the fact that he saw me unbeknownst to me last night— like, would a straight guy come up to me and be like "Hey, I saw you last night"? I don't feel like they would— what would be the point? I didn't even see him, and he said he saw me get on downtown, so he could have been watching me the entire ride for all I know.

I second guess myself on stuff like this though because I feel like I could possibly just be totally misconstruing the situation, and that he could just be being friendly. I feel like I might do this just because my self-confidence isn't the greatest. He aleo did seem sort of nervous when he started talking to me. Like, he was about to say something, stopped, and then looked back at me and then proceeded to tell me he'd seen me. We'll see, I'm sure I'll cross paths with him again, it seems to keep happening even when I thought I'd never run into him again.

One way to gain experience is to try.

[starbelly]

First things first: if you have an established scenario that you know is going to occur, A.K.A, Thursday night in the train...seize the opportunity

If you see him, don't fe afraid to go and say hi, just casually, and then get into talking...get to casual question about studies, the day whatever and then towards the question "are you seeing anybody?".

study how he reacts towards you the entire time.. dos he smile, does he have his eyes fixed on you...etc..

I know it's not the easiest thing out there but the times I tried this proactive approach it almost worked..and then I was to afraid to say I was gay..

but you may pull it off mile:

best of lucks

Thanks man. Since he's actually made conversation with me ABOUT me now, I'm pretty sure he'll be the one to come say hi. We both have classes the same night and take the same train home every Tuesday it seems, so I'm sure I'll run into him again. I think he has a bicycle, so he'll probably be on the train with the bike racks (usually one car has them and the other doesn't), and I almost always ride the one with the bike racks anyway just because the seats are more comfortable.

[starbelly]

One way to gain experience is to try.

This is true. I'm such a wimp though. I was actually on the phone with my brother when the guy started talking to me, and I sat the phone down. When I left and picked it back up, my brother, who had heard the conversation, was like "Dude… you need to talk to that guy." I guess that's reassuring(?)

[MisterTinkles]

Some guys are just so overtly outgoing and people friendly, they seem to give off "vibes", when they really are not.

I've dealt with this a few times in my life.

And the only way I found out was that I asked them why they were so "all over the place"....meaning why were they so super "touchy feely" and overly friendly.

They pretty much all said the same thing...thats just the way they are. They grew up in a happy, overly friendly, touchy-feely family. They didnt think they were doing anything that was not "normal". That is, until I explained it to them.

Of course, then again, he may be after jumping your bones!!!! You wont know until you ask.

[starbelly]

Some guys are just so overtly outgoing and people friendly, they seem to give off "vibes", when they really are not.

I've dealt with this a few times in my life.

And the only way I found out was that I asked them why they were so "all over the place"....meaning why were they so super "touchy feely" and overly friendly.

They pretty much all said the same thing...thats just the way they are. They grew up in a happy, overly friendly, touchy-feely family. They didnt think they were doing anything that was not "normal". That is, until I explained it to them.

Of course, then again, he may be after jumping your bones!!!! You wont know until you ask.

Ha, see, that's what worries me, and I don't want to make an already touchy situation horribly awkward. The ambiguity is awful. Since he's been the one whose made all these apparent advances on me, he very well might come out and say what his intentions are at some point, so I'm going to see what happens. He hasn't seemed to let up.