When both of your good friends are fighting.

[justbry87]

So I've said it before, I hardly have friends as it is and all of them
live far away.

And now, two of them are.. well.. something happened and now
they aren't talking to each other. Both of them have strong personalities
and are pretty stubborn when it comes to things.

One of them is talking to me and told me what had happened [it's pretty long
so I'm not gonna type it out]. And I tried reaching out to the other one and
didn't really get a response back.

I don't really want to get caught in the middle of this. But I have a feeling that
it'll happen anyways.

I can offer an ear to listen, but aside from that I don't really want to get in
between them. It kind of sucks too, cause this means that there'll probably be some
changes into my future plans as well if this problem doesn't get solved. [I probably
sound selfish for saying that..]

:takes-a-deep-breath:

Should I just stay off both their radars for awhile and hope that in time
they figure this out on their own? :\

[southbiochem]

mmmm...

they should both know from you that you are trying to stay in contact with both of them...

If one of them is talking to you, keep that up...try to stay friendly towards both sides, if they want to contact you to make them see that you're not in anyones particular side

Other than that, you don't have to actively act as the mediator, that would only do you bad...it's up to them to solve whatever issue they have between them

wait a while and see how it goes,let them mention about the subject first if it comes up.

since I don't really know the nature of the fight or how serious it is:

I will say that it's not selfish but smart to re-think future plans

(I'm thinking something like getting a place and be roomates, split the expenses, and such, if it's anything in that nature, certainly you're not being selfish)

[justbry87]

Thanks southbiochem,

I really appreciate the reply. Pretty much leaning towards that plan, the other
one lives in Cali so I don't get to really see her often, but the other one
lives sort of close-by and I see her often, and keeps more in contact with
me.

I hope I don't lose the other's friendship because of this, cause I really do
value the friendship.

And you pretty much got it right. Me and the one that lives close-by
were s'ppose to move to California [w/ the other girl] until we find an apartment.

I have a gut feeling that all this won't happen anymore. I don't mind moving
by myself, it'll just be by myself and pretty much re-plan everything [which I've
already started doing in my head].

..again thanks again :]

[yoyoyo148]

I understand that it's hard not to get involved when they are both your close friends but I highly recommend that you let them figure out what they are gonna do about this situation. If they fight you and decide not to talk to you suddenly, that's because they're upset with each other and can't think straight and it affects others as well. It doesn't mean that you guys don't care about each other. I think that to have a good strong friendship connection you have to fight once in a while(I don't know what happened between them, or how big the fight was so..). And I don't think that you're selfish at all. You're clearly a good person you value your friends but you also value yourself. That's a good thing.
Whatever they decide to do, whatever happens now it doesn't mean that things won't change. A friendship is not something that can easily end, we're talking about bonds here. I wish for things to get better.

[justbry87]

Thanks, I hope things work out too..

I don't have very many friends as it is, I wouldn't know if I lose them
too.

[justbry87]

Update sort of.

No ones talking.

Conclusion. Friends are more trouble than their worth it seems like.

Now I feel more alone than ever, but oh well.

Time to plan a new plan for the move.

[princealbertofb]

If you are a Libran, you'll always feel uncomfortable when two friends argue. You need to find some people who are more likely to compromise. Librans are good at that.

[princealbertofb]

I'm not sure friends are more trouble than they're worth, as you say... The saying goes: "A friend in need is a friend indeed..." which indicates that you've got to want to go to all the trouble for that friend to be more than just an acquaintance. The friendship should go both ways though, in terms of support.

[justbry87]

If you are a Libran, you'll always feel uncomfortable when two friends argue. You need to find some people who are more likely to compromise. Librans are good at that.

yeah, I'm a Libran and I always find myself in similar situations all the time.

But like I said before, I don't really want to get in between it. And no one's
really talking to one another. One hasn't spoken to me or the other person
ever since they had their falling out, and the other one sent me a text asking
if I was mad at her, to which I said, I wasn't [which is true] and that I'm just
feeling aloof from friends and people lately.

This kind of messed up future plans and I pretty much don't know what I'm
gonna do and is making me question if me getting my CNA license is even
worth it.

meh, I'll stop now.. Sorry for the rant :x

[dfiant1]

I'm a Libran, but I have never got involved in conflict between 2 people. None of my business if 2 people want to argue/fight even if they are my closest friends or even family....it is what it is and they would both be called 'fuckwits' by me.

So my advice would be to stay out of it.