It's annoying. This guy in my class is one of the most arrogant and ignorant people you will ever meet. He's on the rugby team and values himself over others. His personality has few good points. I mean, he has days where he is lovely to me when he's not trying to show off. But other days, he's just a general dick to me. This kinda thing shows the faults in my lust for him. The only thing I love about him is his crooked smile and symmetrical face. It's weird. I have a lust for a guy who everyone else thinks he's ugly as f*ck but to me, he's absolutely beautiful. It started about two years back and it was the first time we talked. Well, he was mumbling insults to my face, I did nothing. Over time, I grew to like him. But just his appearance. I sound so superficial and it probably is, but this crush was never intended to go this far. I ended up obsessing about him. I really couldn't help myself. Just two days ago, I was someone's form room to talk to friends. And he walks in. He needed to finish artwork. I said I loved it (trying to connect with him). He carried on, ignored me. After he'd done, he said, "Oi, you. Wash this out." He handed me his paintbrush and cup of water he used for his art. I did what he said expecting a thank you. Nope. My friend turned over to me and said, "Hey, don't you think he's a bit of a dick". I replied with a 50/50 gesture.
My crush is blatantly rude to anyone who isn't in his friendship group. I don't know why I continue over him. I'm living on false hope he is gay. Ha. This is the only guy I lust for and he's an absolute dick. How do I disassociate myself from him and stop this obsession? Any experience with this sort of thing is entirely needed!
Thank you! ^_^ <3 
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
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Tell him to his face 'I love you'.
Do be prepare to either fight back or run. 
Aside from directly confronting your object of desire and having him knock you down a peg or 25 by rejecting you (Hopefully he just laughs and dismisses your attention, that will be far more devastating and kill your love/lust thing pretty much immediately)...
There is time. Time and distance.
Understand confronting anyone with your love interest who you suspect is straight may lead to physical violence. It is a risk.
However you need him to reject you in such a manner than your heart listens in order to start the 'moving on' process.
Its up to you... i have no idea how well you can defend yourself in a fist fight.
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Oh, I am completely pathetic when it comes to fist fights XD I also forgot to mention he's a homophobe >;( That changes everything, I guess :L
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I am pathetic when it comes to physical violence! XD Also, I forgot he's a homophobic. That changes everything I guess :L
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I'd recommend staying away. This doesn't sound like it ends well.
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Essentially, run.
Edit: What a useless reply I wrote... I'll try to put in some effort!
You sound like you have a crush, an infatuation. You probably still feel like it's love though, it's not going to matter what I say. Maybe, however, it might help to know others share your experience, it's normal to go through these things. If this is the first time this has happened to you, it's going to be especially hard. It's very possible, you can do it, I've done it, and so have many before and after us. What I want to say to help you disentangle yourself, speaking from personal experience, is to focus on why you don't like him, and then actively do things that you do like. It took a full year, and then some, for me to get over my first real infatuation (probably because I'm stooopid, it'll probably not be so onerous for you)... but... it does end if you put in effort, and there will be a point where you can look at this person and not feel pain, burning up, butterflies, desire, and all of that.
Important things to note; He probably isn't going to get better. Even if he does end up liking you, have you heard that old line that basically goes, 'if he's nice to you but not the waiter, he's not a nice person?". You have no personal value to him right now, so you're dirt, and that's probably how he usually is. You don't want someone who is only going to be nice to you in the event that you have something to offer to them.
Do you really want someone like that? Certainly, the honest answer is no, but the biological drive for sex is going to keep screaming yes. Remind yourself why you don't like him, avoid him if possibly until you're stronger, and immediatly do something that is rewarding when you think about him (other than visiting him AND ESPECIALLY OTHER THAN LAYING IN YOUR BED DOING NOTHING) like seeing friends etc., and eventually, gradually, your feelings should start to subside.
And, given time you might see why people think he's ugly too, and suddenly it might strike you: "I see why everyone hates you.".
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Gwynii Wrote: It's annoying. This guy in my class is one of the most arrogant and ignorant people you will ever meet. He's on the rugby team and values himself over others. His personality has few good points. I mean, he has days where he is lovely to me when he's not trying to show off. But other days, he's just a general dick to me. This kinda thing shows the faults in my lust for him. The only thing I love about him is his crooked smile and symmetrical face. It's weird. I have a lust for a guy who everyone else thinks he's ugly as f*ck but to me, he's absolutely beautiful. It started about two years back and it was the first time we talked. Well, he was mumbling insults to my face, I did nothing. Over time, I grew to like him. But just his appearance. I sound so superficial and it probably is, but this crush was never intended to go this far. I ended up obsessing about him. I really couldn't help myself. Just two days ago, I was someone's form room to talk to friends. And he walks in. He needed to finish artwork. I said I loved it (trying to connect with him). He carried on, ignored me. After he'd done, he said, "Oi, you. Wash this out." He handed me his paintbrush and cup of water he used for his art. I did what he said expecting a thank you. Nope. My friend turned over to me and said, "Hey, don't you think he's a bit of a dick". I replied with a 50/50 gesture.
My crush is blatantly rude to anyone who isn't in his friendship group. I don't know why I continue over him. I'm living on false hope he is gay. Ha. This is the only guy I lust for and he's an absolute dick. How do I disassociate myself from him and stop this obsession? Any experience with this sort of thing is entirely needed!
Thank you! ^_^ <3
First: weclome to GS  mile:
The typical jock bastard...ugh....
but I do understand you, when I was in school and your age I had endless crushes with my straight classmates and one of them was particularly long...I was hung up on this guy for 2 years or so..
In the end, you can't do anything other than outgrow this heavy infatuation.
(Even if he was a closeted gay there's no way he will admit to it in school)
As of now let's just consider him the jerk bastard that he is...school is full of these guys..
From my experience I tell you this:
get over it, seriously...more often than not he will hurt you deeply and you are giving him the power to do so..he will always find a way to diminish and bully you when he is with his clique..
stop it.....save yourself from some deep resentment, sadness and anger...
stop it... if you can't find anyone now where you are, then college will be the place for you..
it does get better after highschool...it may seem far away, but trust me, 2 years fly by almost unnoticed
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Retreat now before your heart is crushed by reality or duel the fates and make things happen. You'll regret wasting the time you're wasting on guessing. The future will come and you will wonder why you didn't date someone who was CERTAINLY gay. Don't waste your time and strike or forever hold yer peace.
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Gwynii Wrote:I am pathetic when it comes to physical violence! XD Also, I forgot he's a homophobic. That changes everything I guess :L
Actually yes it does change the advice, but not for the reason you may think.
Scientific Research as in measurable hard science scientific research has revealed that most homophobics are a bit gay.
So your saying 'I love you' will piss him of to no end not because he has a problem with your being gay, but because he will think he is putting off a gay vibe... Which ironically he must be considered how you are drawn to him.
I have heard many tales from now openly well adjusted gay men that back in their late teens they resorted to nasty/ugly homophobia and were loudly protesting against homosexuality.
So chances are pretty high he is in the closet and there may be no way to approach him nicely and show support to him and coax him out, so even being around him and acting like you might like him may get him to thinking he is acting gay or something.
My advice is to back off slowly and distance yourself from his as completely as possible and learn how to act like there is no interest - stop staring at him, wipe that sad smile off your face when you look at him. Stopping getting puppy dog eyes when you think about him while he is in the room...
When you see him mentally check yourself, and decide if there is any signal of interest you are sending. if so, then act otherwise.
That may reduce his severe nature in your general direction.
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In love with an straight. arrogant boy
