3 year relationship - can i get a blow job please?

[L18amd]

Need to talk to him get the spark back a little try a few things that turn him on set the mood..... But yeah also needs discussion

[nu2this]

Once it comes down to sleeping in other rooms, it makes it so much harder to get back into romantic ways, you gotta find a way to share the same bed again, distance, even in separate rooms can distance your relationship, i'd have a sit down long talk, believe me, I experienced this in a straight relationship, same thing in so many ways, but either way both partners need mutual affection, maybe in different ways, but have needs, in the mean time, can I make ya feel alil better?,,,,

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Yes, he wants sex often enough, and tells me what he wants. Mostly he wants me to give him oral and be a bottom. I'm versatile.

I take it he is in reality a total top who has tried to be versatile to suit your needs?

If so, he most likely has discovered that he cannot (not unwilling, unable - big difference) to live up to that.

It is a shame you two cannot talk about sex in an adult way, meaning sit down and openly discuss wants and needs and find a middle ground here.

Yes, maybe a couples counselor will help you both to discover a means to seriously talk about what it is when it comes to your preferred role in bed without shame, without worrying about rejection and whatever else is at play here.

Unfortunately there is this growing myth out in the scene where if a guy makes it clear that he is X looking for Y that this means he is looking for 'just sex'. Unfortunately when dealing with all men where the role can land up being anything, making it clear from the start is kind of important.

Its not like straight relationships were its pretty clear who will be on top and who will be on the bottom due to the mechanics involved. So we deny ourselves this honest evaluation of a potential relationship hoping that it will resolve itself.

This is further made complicated in that humans are deceptive creatures. They believe that they can pretend to be something they are not and actually believe they can be X when the fact of the matter is that they cannot are not and most likely will not be anything other than what they are. The fear of losing out or being rejected and 'settling' for what seems hopeful leads to this internal and external deception.

Brace yourself and consider that the potential here is your husband is predominately a top who really isn't into being a bottom. You being versatile may be the only one here capable of doing the giving on this particular front.

I doubt he lied on purpose 3 years ago. This sort of thing isn't really a willful sort of lie, its an emotional lie, a hope to be that which our mate may want, and often enough we try, but also often enough we fail to live up to these expectations.

I do strongly suggest you get into couples counseling NOW - don't put it off for any reason, the longer you put it off, the greater the resentments will become and the more work you will have to weed through those resentments.

There are solutions, no doubt, but neither of you may like those solutions 100% and will have to find compromises and work on this.

[Sylph]

Oh no im late

But here's the thing, not everybody wants to fuck all the time and while its true he should be willing or atleast say why he isnt willing return the favour, somethings for people, no matter how close you think you may be, might affect them in ways you dont understand and until they to, then you obviously wont.

Now im not saying he should be blue balling you or whatever, but people have reasons for what they do.

Now its up to you whether or not those reasons are important or not to factor in your relationship and if so, what your willing to do to and what your boyfriend is willing to do in order to make it work.

Work it out hunni.

[Story]

Am I the only one who thinks the guy should be giving you blowjobs?

Frankly, unless you never wash your junk he has no excuse to not reciprocate, considering you do for him what he wants.

Also, not talking about it is a sure way to cause a breakup in the long run. If he want's to talk in couples therapy maybe that would work, but it's not good that he can't just talk to you about whatever comes up in the relationship. Everybody deserves better than that.

Agreed here, he is not meeting your physical needs. The fact that he is passive and avoiding of the issue is HIS issue. You have opened the floor for conversation and he chooses not to partake.
To agree with everyone else when your needs arent getting met its harder to meet the needs of someone else. This should be an easy fix, communication. As others have pointed out something is bothering him. You need to communicate with him and ask him whats going on and why hes behaving the way he is. He sees his perspective you dont. A counselor can help if you two are having open communications but cannot find a resolution. A counselor cannot help if one or both of you are not openly communicating.