Anonymous Wrote:No, I'm not considering relationships with him, I would.never do that, because I hope that all this obsession with him will end sooner or later. I mean, it has to end, because I'm not gay.
Yes, we kissed, but I was drunk. I know it doesn't justify anything, but who hasn't done stupid and regrettable things when booze is involved? I would have never kissed him while sober. Now I would do anything to undo this kiss, because all my problems with checking out my friend started after it.
Then you might always notice he looks good. That's normal, you probably know some girls that look nice but you wouldn't have sex with. FACT: You can appreciate the looks of men. Stop denying it, because you'll confuse yourself. Choice: You can still consider yourself straight. Noticing your friend doesn't change who you are, if you're only going to go out with women, then aren't you pragmatically straight (rhetorical)?
You will go out with whoever you ultimately choose to go out with. [B]You likely won't stop noticing your friend's looks, and you might possibly notice other guys too, but you can still go out with whoever you fall in love with, and the choice to limit yourself to females is available. [B][/B][/B]
Basically, you don't need to be worried about this. If you think hard, you might realize that you had noticed the looks of men in the past before this too (perhaps a crush you didn't realize was a crush, perhaps you were a little too curious to look at gay porn). This is normal. If you only want to go out with girls - do that, you don't have to panic.
Just please remember to be nice to gay people  .
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
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First of all, relax. I agree with Woollyhats that nothing is "happening to you" that you need to be concerned about. You shared a drunken kiss, big deal. The problem is the story you have created about it in your head since then. It certainly doesn't make you gay (although if you keep insisting you're not, we may get suspicious  ).
I hope you can talk with your friend about this. It sounds like you are both uncomfortable about it, or maybe he has just picked up on your own tension. Sit down and clear the air. It's ok to be confused about your feelings, but feeling ashamed about them is not going to help anything.
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Newsflash - Just because your straight does not mean you can't be with a guy.
gay = attracted to men
straight = attracted to women.
You have an emotional attachment to your friend and you kiss, so what?
I've kissed straight friends, hell I've massaged the thighs of a straight friend while naked and offered him a blowjob, there were only two reasons he declined 1) was he is in a relationship and 2) he is unable to reciprocate or return the favor (because he is straight).
He is straight, I know that and he knows that and no matter what I might convince him to try or experiment with in the future, that fact is not going to change.
Your post does not sound like someone who is looking for a way to politely dissuade a friend.
It sounds a lot more like you are struggling with your own feelings because maybe, just maybe you aren't quite as straight as you thought you were.
Now i'm not calling you gay, I think you will still end up with a woman and get married and have kids or live what ever life you want to have, but is it really that bad if you experiment with your feelings while you have the opportunity to do so?
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I don't really remember who came onto the kiss first, but I believe it could be me, because, like I said, he has never came onto me.
I will always be nice to gay people, I was actually a bit of a homophobe when I was teenager, until I found out my best buddy is gay too. He taught me to be acceptable and opened my mind.
I want to talk to him about it and in the same time I don't. I'm kind of ashamed that he will know how I look at him now. I'm sure that he would understand, but I just cannot start talking about it. Instead I keep on daydreaming about him and I want it to end. I want to see him just as my best friend again, not an object of desire.
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Anonymous Wrote:I want to see him just as my best friend again, not an object of desire.
Sounds like some sexual tension. Maybe the heart is willing but the body isn't? The other way around? Either way you HAVE to talk to him about what happened. He's probably just as confused as you are, but you'll never know if you sit there and mope. Best of luck!
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I don't know what and how really is happening between me and him, but I seem to be the biggest coward ever seen. Yesterday he asked me if something's bothering me and I said no. He knows me better than my own mother and I cannot tell him about my feelings. Instead I just keep dreaming about me and him making love. We're also going to spend Christmas together, he's going to me at my place and well....I don't know.
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Anonymous Wrote:I don't know what and how really is happening between me and him, but I seem to be the biggest coward ever seen. Yesterday he asked me if something's bothering me and I said no. He knows me better than my own mother and I cannot tell him about my feelings. Instead I just keep dreaming about me and him making love. We're also going to spend Christmas together, he's going to me at my place and well....I don't know.
Dude. >.> Sounds like you need sex. I say you two just go nuts and see if that gets it out of your system and if not at least it'll be with someone who cares about you.
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Anonymous Wrote:I don't really remember who came onto the kiss first, but I believe it could be me, because, like I said, he has never came onto me.
I will always be nice to gay people, I was actually a bit of a homophobe when I was teenager, until I found out my best buddy is gay too. He taught me to be acceptable and opened my mind.
I want to talk to him about it and in the same time I don't. I'm kind of ashamed that he will know how I look at him now. I'm sure that he would understand, but I just cannot start talking about it. Instead I keep on daydreaming about him and I want it to end. I want to see him just as my best friend again, not an object of desire.
If only we could wish away unwanted desires and affections so easily my life would be way more easy.
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You should never feel the need to change your perception of who you are simply because you've formed a bond with someone, male or otherwise. It sounds like you've found something so real and powerful you just can't resist wanting it, and there's nothing wrong with that. I'd say it's best to not linger on the how or why and just focus on being happy. Bottom line is, nothing gets better through silence, so talk with him about what's happened and what you're feeling. Figure out what you want to say and be direct, honest, and fearless about it.
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Sounds like you were just showing a deeper affection towards him than you think you have. Your not so much friends as you are brothers. Just talk to him and make it clear that you would never have sex with a man (since you aren't gay) and the kiss was brought on due to the drinks and the bond you to share. You love him as a Brother and any romantic actions towards each other would ruin that.
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