I'm straight, but I think I feel something to him......what to do?

[Undreamt]

I still don't know why you think that a straight man can't have gay sex and still stay straight.

[Ekwarph]

I still don't know why you think that a straight man can't have gay sex and still stay straight.

Well, technically, he can, if it's once in a party or in a while. If he often thinks of gay sex, he's probably not though

[Beau]

Don't think of people as gay or straight. We are all sexual beings and we are all subconsciously looking for potential mates, It is instinctive. There is more too it than whether a person has a dick or a vagina. People look for physical attraction and emotional compatibilites in a potential mate.

You've seen him as a potential mate, even if it is on a subconscious level. Don't freak out over it. It really is natural. You may feel the need to act on it. Then again, you may not. Just relax and have fun.

[Undreamt]

Well, technically, he can, if it's once in a party or in a while. If he often thinks of gay sex, he's probably not though

I disagree, but then i define sexuality based on who you are attracted to be romantically involved with.

[NerdyGiant]

You're likely attracted to the idea of him as a person. If you have been friends for so long then there are obviously personality traits you find pleasing. Perhaps a desire to be with someone with similar traits is part of it.

Noted, I'm talking about personality traits. If you are looking at his body and like it when you touch, you could be projecting your emotional attractions in a physical way. And there is nothing wrong with that. You can be straight but have feelings for him. You ultimately decide what you want, but make sure not to lie to yourself in the end: just be happy with whatever you do. If you do end up developing a romantic interest in him, don't be afraid. You might be happier with him, you never know

[Episcopalian94]

I feel like you have some fear of trusting your feelings.

Something is going on in a biological level. Let's just say your sexual hormones are dispersing in his direction, and his are doing the same in your direction. You smell each other's pheromones which is causing your attraction. You both probably have boners and don't know it, and are afraid to act.

He is trying to respect your heterosexuality, but you're leaning a bit to his side, and it scares you.
I wish I could make you understand that what you're experiencing is something beautiful.

Don't be afraid to go on his side for awhile. You can be gay behind closed doors for him, and he should be able to respect you when outside those closed doors considering he knows you "better than mum".

He probably wants to know you inside and out. You both know each other on the inside, now you want to learn each other's outsides.

If you open up to him or make a move, and he doesn't return the feelings, IT IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD! He is gay, and should understand your feelings, but just because he may not share those same feelings for you doesn't mean he'll look at you funny. He loves you as a friend, and do you seriously think something could change that?

He senses that you're in distress over this, but you won't tell him what's bothering you. It's going to drive him crazy if you don't tell him, and may very well end the friendship.

You're afraid sharing your feelings with him will end the friendship, but really remaining on a limb like this is can end it. He may very well feel the same for you, and you don't know it. Either way, telling him will make you even closer friends.

Inbox me if you'd like to talk further about this, ask me questions, or vent off some steam. You've taken a big step by getting on a gay forum to ask for help with this, and I commend you for that. You're securing your "masculinity".

[MisterTinkles]

You may be an overly affectionate guy and not know it. Your friend showed you a bit of affection, and now you dont know how to deal.

The only way you will find out what is going on in his mind, is to ask him. He might have kissed you to thank you for not being such an asshole, like many other people are.

Ive known and met plenty of guys who are "touchy feely" and like to kiss others...not that they are making a pass at you or anything, thats just the way they are.

Unless it happens again, I would just take it as a compliment and leave it at that.

[TimeSage]

It's called being Bi. Nothing says you have to like ONLY Women or ONLY men. There's also verrying degrees of bi like being straight outside a select few guys (or gay and likeing a select few women)

[hank]

I don't know what and how really is happening between me and him, but I seem to be the biggest coward ever seen. Yesterday he asked me if something's bothering me and I said no. He knows me better than my own mother and I cannot tell him about my feelings. Instead I just keep dreaming about me and him making love. We're also going to spend Christmas together, he's going to me at my place and well....I don't know.

Hey, just relax. Your feelings aren't that abnormal. When I first came out I had a straight friend come on to me.

It isn't strange it isn't gay, it's human. I would advise you avoid messing around with him it will alter your relationship. If you aren't gay and prefer not to have a relationship with him other than what you have. I would be honest about how you feel and that you wish to remain friends. It certainly isn't gay that you love him, I love my friends most are straight.

As for starting to find him attractive. He probably is most straight men can identify an attractive man it isn't gay it's just the way we are.

Perhaps after your kiss you saw things differently. It opened up more possibilities could you love a man? Kissing a man? isn't much different than kissing a woman if you think about it. You care about this person, you even love him. The kiss has erased or at least blurred that line that existed.

You said you were homophobic in your teens, perhaps that homophobia was in response to feelings you didn't quite understand. It's often where homophobia comes from. I was severely homophobic as a teenager. I was confused deeply about my sexual orientation. But it could be that you found it strange.

If you are straight and don't wish to be in a life long relationship with him messing around will cost you your existing friendship. Not to be to graphic but there is this much tension between you over a kiss, imagine the tension that would be there if you did more.

Your discomfort with this idea that you may not be as straight as you thought you were will only increase until you evaluate your sexuality. If you aren't ready to be in a homosexual relationship don't get into one especially with a friend. You may need to see a shrink, yyou may need to talk about it here more. You may need to talk to your friend. One thing for sure it won't be easy but you will come out of it having gained something. So it is worth it.

Good luck.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Love: The English language has only one word to express an emotion that have many depths and levels. You can love your mom, love your dog and love steak - but does that mean you love all three exactly the same?

After 15 years I wouldn't be surprised that there is a deep affection/love actually but maybe not the same kind of love as one would have for a lover.

Then there is a sliding scale to sexuality. While I consider myself 100% gay because I have only had relationships with men, there have been two women who I have seriously contemplated being 'straight' for. Its not their gender, it was them as individuals - we connected in a way that I just don't tend to connect with women.

It is possible that you have a gay leaning and this particular individuals meshes with you to make that a possible expression.

You are comfortable in your sexuality which may make it a bit easier for the right guy to get closer you in that particular aspect. This doesn't mean you must explore it, or that you are destined to marry him.

Bromance: A newish word that tries to express the closeness between two men that can exist but isn't necessarily 'gay' - a form of lovers/brothers bond that isn't wholly 'just bros' and wholly 'lovers'.

Males tend to be more physically affectionate than females. Study after study shows that men crave physical contact more than women. Hugs, cuddles, 'innocent kisses' and the like and this isn't a precursor to sex. Yes society has frowned on men having touchy feely needs thus we don't see it often, that is a sickness of society that is confused when it comes to what being human is.

You both do need to talk about 'this incident' compartmentalize it and try to restore what you had. I think you both are putting far to much importance in a kiss and you are spinning too much on what your interest in your 'bromantic' interest means.