Boyfriend and I don't have many common hobbies. What do you guys do together?

[Tulloni]

Is the best friend one of those big, muscular guys? You know, one of those gym bunnies with an intimidating presence? One of the reasons my workout regimes in the past failed was because I felt a bit intimidated by those guys myself. Of course, it was silly but I felt a little paranoid in their powerful presence! Its just the way timid guys like me are I guess!

What about the friend in question? Do you guys get on well? If you don't get on well with his friends or vice versa or your two groups of friends are very very different then that could be a little bit difficult and could be a source of tension.

As for the city thing, I know how you feel, I've lived in small towns before and got fed up of them after awhile. But big cities aren't always much better. Plus if everyone moves to big cities they just get too damned crowded. In London I can't always get out and do much because everywhere is always packed, its annoying.

[justbry87]

We could do gym, but he wants to work out with his best friend who always judges me and I don't like being judged. lol

He's pretty skinny. I'm fluffy!
I guess i could work out when he's working out with his friend... I'm the worst work out buddy ever. I'm lazy. :/

Thanks!

Aw, well you can still go to the gym with him one of these day instead
of his bff. It's worth the try, you never know maybe it might actually be fun.

Oh and you mentioned video games? You said he plays mostly one player
games, are they RPG or anything like that? Or games that are pretty much
movies? Cause I remember when I was with my ex [years ago], we'd alway
play RPG's/adventure type games that has a good story for hours. My ex is good
with the fighting part, but when it comes to figuring out puzzles and the like,
I was way better than him. Lol, I remember he was stuck in a puzzle in 'Silent
Hill' for like a month or so and one of the first times I came over, I sat down
and figured out the puzzle in a minute, hehe

So maybe try that? Oh and someone mentioned going on hikes? I know it's still
winter, but it's a good way to just talk and at the same times doing something
together.

:]

[Bowyn Aerrow]

If you want your relationship to work then you need to work it - and you need to turn to him and tell him 'I want a common frame of reference for us to have, some point, something we do as a couple together and that we both enjoy.'

If you can't do that, or he flat refuses to comment or work on this with you than this relationship is already over and dead and all you have is a zombie shambling off to rot away until one (or both) of you end up giving up.

If this is such a problem for you, you need to scream, shout, jump up on the coffee table and tap dance to get his attention to listen to your concerns. Whatever it takes to open up dialog with him.

As for hobbies, there is Google for God's Sake. Use it.
things for gay couples to do for fun

things for gay couples to save their relationship

hobbies for gay couples

Look, its nice you need help, but you need to stop seeking that from others and seek it from the person who is suppose to be there to help you, and that is your partner.

You two need to communicate and that doesn't happen magically, definitely won't happen if you make up a list of things to try without consulting him on the finding of the things we can do to have fun in our god awful boring relationship.

We work together, as a team, whether we like it or not. Practice makes perfect, yes even on something as small and insignificant as telling each other 'I need help to do ___________' Fill in the blank.

Look I did the 14 years of being in a relationship with a person where the only thing we had in common was an attraction to men. I gave it the college try and then some, I did a lot of compromises in every single area of my life and that relationship still ended.

I strongly, with all sincerity here, urge you two to sit down and see what it is you actually do have in common and use logic and rationality (not your hearts) to decide if there is enough here for you two to actually have a quiet, half decent relationship.

If you two cannot sit down and discuss alternative hobbies to at least TRY to do together, then the chances of your being able to sit down and approach 'are we compatible enough to survive' most likely won't happen. If it can't happen, then I fear you will piss away a considerable amount of time trying to keep the 'love' going to end up hating him and he hating you when everything finally breaks under the problems.

You both need to find the courage to look at 'us' rationally and with understanding that love is never enough, you need a lot more than just a happy feeling to make a relationship work. and yes it requires a lot of work even if you have a lot in common.

Good luck.

[MarySandy]

The time you spent writing this is time you wasted finding real activities with your BF... Sudbury may be a boring city (I kind of agree) lol... but what is special is that you're in Sudbury and you have a boyfriend... there's many other gay dude that would definitely love to have that... so if you're BF had to tell you about your laziness perhaps you should surprise him by finding out yourself what could make him eat his words. It's quite obvious that you two are yet in the discovery mode. I may be 18 but I have been with my boyfriend since i'm 14 years old... we are very much different but we did in between two kisses find other things that connected us beside sex, cuddling,... and that wasn't to ask on a forum That exercise my friend you need to do it with your sweetheart.

[Eth21]

I would have to agree with the above you need to talk to him and try new hobbies together.
On a side note if you ever do get chance to do fencing do it!! I use to do it and it was awesome!! Just a shame it's not in your area..
But yeah so talk to him and let us no how it goes!!

[partis]

Movies are good, but apparently I'm too cuddly and don't pay attention to the movie... ._.

This is quite annoying

Watching a good film with the one your with is nice thing to do. If its a film you both really enjoy then it gives you something to TALK about too!

You say you dont just want sex but even watching a film you cant keep your hands to yourself!

why dont you try this…

Sit on other ends of the sofa, put his feet on your lap and rub his feet and legs and WATCH the movie!

[MarySandy]

Hiking... It's winter and too cold. We take his dog for short walks but it's cold.
And I hate my city sometimes. Too small and not a lot to do! No fencing.

No fencing in Sudbury you say?
I'm not so sure about that. My dad is a level 10 in Shaolin Kung Fu and he has been visiting one of his friend's school in Sudbury where there is pretty much 5 different disciplines of martial arts... and that my friend include Fencing... I believe you did not search too much... when you're bored out of your wits it seems that everything is boring.

I was born in Montreal, but my dad comes from a very far up north region in Quebec, he was living at two hours from James Bay Gates in Quebec and out of its town of 50k people in the surroundings they never had nothing to do.

Let it be fishing, skyiing, canoeing, kayaking, portage (yes even in winter), tipping cows at night hahaha - yes he told me about that lol etc. When I was little he would bring me there for vacations and I never was bored. Don't tell me there's no such activities in Sudbury