HELP ME! I want to leave home but don't at the same time.

[hank]

Well I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about 3 months, I've known him over a year and he's 26, I love him and he loves me, I'm in the closet and our relationship is a secret, we have already talked about started a family together in the future and it wasn't rushed either it just felt right, and everything with him just feels right!

The problem is my Dad is majorly Homophobic, he always says how he thinks being gay or a lesbian is disgusting and I've got into massive arguments with him over him saying this, every time there is a same sex couple that kisses or does anything together he says that's disgusting, yuk and stuff like that it makes me pretty upset sometimes, I have an older brother who is gay and Dad always says stuff about him being gay and how he is an embarrassment, once again I've also told him off for saying things like that.

I've seriously considered moving out with my boyfriend and cutting him out of my life because i really don't need his negativity dragging me down.

My boyfriend said he is willing for me to move in with him if i want to, he's also in the closet and didn't want to come out until he had something to show for it, My old plan was to move out of school at the end of 2015 when i finish school, but now i'm thinking about moving sooner, i really don't want to deal with my Dad anymore.

I'm just starting year 11 in school, I think most of my friends would be supportive, generally i don't care what people think but i don't want to upset my family!
I WILL BE FINISHING SCHOOL NO MATTER WHAT!

Don't put yourself into the position where you are dependant upon your lover. Such a new relationship may be strained under that kind of pressure. Moving in with someone is very difficult. It's far more difficult if you are dependant on that person.

We like to believe love conquers all. But love is a very difficult thing to maintain it takes commitment and work. It can turn to hate very quickly right under your nose. I don't doubt you and your boyfriend are in love. I am happy for you in that regard. But it isn't a feeling, it's a commitment. And you can't jump the start on it. Three months may seem like a long time but compared to your future say 20 years later with this fellow three months were nothing.

Your dad is likely not going to change. Getting mad about it only hurts you. Let it go you can't change him he must decide to change himself. Just change the subject of he gets on it about gays being gross just tell him he doesn't have to look at them.

[PenguinPecker]

I didn't read all the comments yet, but I will say this now:
My dad was the same way. WAS. THen, I came out to my parents. Now, obviously that's the hardest thing you'll probably ever do because you have no idea what to expect.
I planned to move out before telling my parents but then, one night, I kind of blew up and told my mom. Who told me to tell my dad.
ANYWAY...
My dad's reaction was amazing. He just said to me "Tyler, you're still my son! Being gay doesn't change who you are! I do not love you any less because of it and it isn't something you can change! So, remember that I always have and always will love you!"
I was speechless. I expected a "Get out of my house!".
Mom just said that they would never kick me out unless I was having sex in their house.
So, I guess what I'm saying (and please don't use what happened to me as an example of what WILL happen to you because every parent is different) is that maybe telling your parents (tell your mom first maybe and she might be able to talk to your dad about it) would help.
Ever since I told my parents, they've been overly nice to me! lol
But honestly... I would definitely leave that decision up to you.
I don't actually know what the point of my comment was. But I hope that, by reading it, you may realize that people change! My dad no longer expresses the same feelings he did before (at least not around me) and I also feel better knowing that my parents love me for who I really am, not for who they want me to be!