Today I went to my parents for dinner, which was great until my little brother came home from school (he's 11) he started being moody to me which I figure is just his age. Also I will add that he and my dad get on really well as they both love guns (air rifles etc) and hunting which dosnt interest me in the slightest so we don't really click on that and have been drifting apart for years...
Anyway he keeps making comments about being a redneck and decided to start calling me gay since I don't have a girl friend and how he dosnt like gay people... What also annoyed was that he said this intront of my dad who didn't seem phased at all by it. Even tho I was raised not to be homophobic but dad is jus just been to lax on my brother.
I guess what's really getting me down is that it's hit me just how far apart me and my brother have drifted and how much he seems to dislike me...
I guess I just wanted to get this off my chest so no need to reply.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
•
I have four brothers of differing ages, I know how you feel. Sadly, we too grew distant for a long time, finally the learned to respect me for me, not my sexuality. I'm not saying there aren't problems, because there are still problems. I'm just glad they understood that I was still me, not my sexuality. I know you didn't ask for a reply, but I can tell you; with time, and patience, it can get better.
•
I have a Christian older sister who will never antagonize me if I ever tell her, but who will also never accept me for it. I have learned to live with that possibility..
but she and I share our parents raising in being responible and nice to each other..
what concerns me the most is how you brother might end up, when he could be an awesome person..and it's strange how you were raised one way and he is not being raised the same way..
in this I feel for you..it sucks that you haver to be estranged from your family.
I hope it turns for good and you get to keep your family as the support system it's supposed to be
•
In many ways indifference is more hateful than hate.
Your father is being indifferent, he needs to take a stand and lead the boy on these issues.
Or perhaps you need to?
•
Although it may seem very personal, you mustn't forget he's 11.
Everything is "gay this or gay that" to most 11-14 year olds. Its not meant as a slight towards gay people, its just a phrase that kids seem to have picked up on and use in a slang way.
Also, there is 11 years between you and your bro. Growing apart is perfectly natural with that age difference. Are you out to dad? (Soz I can't remember if you posted previously)
ObW
X
•
Next time he pulls that shit, tell him, "Did you hear that? It's the sound of someone being tolerant!"
When he looks, slap him.
•
Sounds similar to what me and my sister went through. It really is just the age. As soon ad she hit 11 or 12 she went from a cool little sister to a Raving bitch that couldn't deal with her new hormones. We basically didn't really connect again until she turned 18 and stopped jumping to conclusions about he said she said things. Until then just ignore him and he will get bored eventually.
•
Your brother is an idiot.
This is normal.
My brother was, and still is the same way. "That's fucking stupid!". Actuallly, wait, no. 'That's fucking gay.'. When gay men would be on TV (usually in comedic contexts) he'd squirm as the show would intend the audience to and be like, "ew.".
He accepts me and his other gay family members perfectly fine, however.
I think this may just be the age.
Obviously, you need to be cautious about his disgust solidifying into something worse. I found that my brother was sympathetic to a gay cousin that came out when I explained (still in the closet) that gay people are attracted to men in the same way that he is attracted to women, and that they cannot change that. Then he said, "Well, I feel bad for them now, because people must make fun of them.". And immediatly returned to the politically incorrect language that most people use.
Take some moments if possible to point out that gay people are people too.
Also, stand up for your own rights. He may like seeing others in pain -- also normal for someone his age... unfortunately, and your parents should be doing something about it, but I digress... Don't indulge it, but say something like, "I don't appreciate being talked to like that", and if he just keeps it up (I'd say there's a 90% chance he will), tell your parents directly that guests shouldn't be abused like that in their home, that you expect an apology from your brother before you return, say you had better be getting to some other plans you've been putting off (implying your time is valuable and you don't want it abused) and leave. Refuse to make it a gay issue, as this is actually a respect issue. Do not contact them again until you have an apology. Obviously this is only going to be worthwhile if the abuse is excessive, otherwise I would never recommend this.
Your brothers behaviour OR your parents ability to put up with it may miraculously change.
•
Sorry to hear that. Family can be very difficult.
•
yeah I know he's at that annoying age and I keep telling my mum and dad they were much stricter on me than they are on him. I'm not out to any of them but think they suspect it so I avoid the gay topic so they don't ask me as I won't be able to lie to them but would still like to come out without feeling like I'm forced into it so I feel stupid but can't really say anything... But that will hopefully change soon 