If you dont like it at home leave

[partis]

and I'm very inclined to going crazy, so maybe I will prefer to become an homeless, or do something very crazy, or maybe not

I know, me too, might see you there

[elad12]

I wanted to leave home so bad that on my last last day of High School I left at noon and either hitchhiker or took a bus (can't remember which it was) 200 miles north. That was 44 years ago. In many ways it was a great decision. But I think everyone is different and we all find our way. I am not going to judge anyone else by which road they take. I think we all know how it feels to be judged for doing things different then the majority.

[Eth21]

Well for what it's worth I moved out when I was 18 due to issues with the family and they were also wanting to move away to the middle of nowhere. But I'm the exception not the rule in my area and was lucky to have a full time job. I lived by myself for 3 years but regret it to some extent as I have no money to try and go on to get A levels. However I would prob still do the same if given the chance again.

[Pix]

I'd decide on a case by case basis. Some people are better off staying home and either working it out or strategically getting themselves out in the long run rather than short run. Other people make me wonder why they stay in a hopeless and intolerable sitch at all even if it means homelessness (though I do understand the economy isn't as good as it used to be and that it's hard to break out of homelessness, not impossible however).

But generally speaking I think the one prone to bitching about life at home would be just as likely to bitch about roomies, people they interact with at work and/or school, and eventually their own partners and kids. And I think many of the young who complain what people over 30 are like and how the older generations keep us in a dark age will still be complaining by the time they're 40 only about the youth and their newfangled ideas. People prone to bitch just look for excuses, I think many times bitching IS the point and what they're bitching about at the moment the excuse to vent their general dissatisfaction with life.

[Pix]

I just remembered a guy I wish I hadn't. He complained about how his mom held him back and I felt sympathetic for him so I let him move in thinking that just like me (who left home for the last time when I was 16 and living on my own as a functional adult, sometimes without any roomies at all, before I turned 19) he'd find his own path once his controlling mother was no longer in the way.

He didn't. He played video games and not much else. He was a spoiled brat who enslaved me to be his new mom. At first I gave him a couple of weeks or so to "realize he was free" and then I tried inspiring him to get his own life, pursue schooling, anything other than relying on my taking care of him. But it just got worse and worse, and once I introduced the stick he started threatening suicide if I didn't take care of him. Eventually I couldn't handle it anymore and got some big guys to throw his stuff out along with himself (he had multiple warnings which he chose to ignore). He called his mom who got him and went back to living with her.

I became a lot more cautious about helping whiners after that.

[Lilitu]

Everybody's situations are different, but if you really gotta do it, you gotta DO it. Action and not words.

That's something I should get into my head...

I plan to move out of home when I either: graduate and find a full time job, or get into a serious relationship.

Basically because these are the only two ways my mother would actually accept as reasons to move out. I have to support her for the rest of my life, that's just part of what's expected in my society and culture.

I thought about joining the military at one point, but not going to university was just not an option (or was it? I could have gone, and started a new life.) I would have been ostracised by my entire family for not continuing my education.

I can't really tell if all these expectations are something sad or something right.

We have this dream and goal of individualism, but expectations (varying from person to person) often tell us to stay at home, get your piece of paper that you'll hang up on a wall and let get dusty, then find a source of money. That's what we're really expected to find. A source of money and status; not fulfilment.

I think you either have to find some way of feeling like an individual within the complex, but flowing constructs provided, or take action, and never stop, and achieve the goal of real individualism, a tough tough thing to do.

A lot of young people can't differentiate between the two, can't make the choice, or are simply overwhelmed by the stark contrast between their sheltered childhood and the sudden adulthood that comes in your twenties.

Even getting a part time job just for pocket money as a teenager is like trying to infiltrate a bureaucracy, where I live.

I guess I'm just saying that there is always a way or even many ways, just like mr tinkles said, but for youth today, those ways are extremely difficult to take, and most won't take them. I don't think I know if that's a good or a bad thing.