In love with my friend... Please help.

[Bravo]

Hey guys, I'm new here... Sorry if this is the wrong section

Anyways, I'm in some kind of trouble here. I met this friend early last year, and he became one of my best friends real quick. It's a bit odd, but I have this terrible habit of not keeping in touch with my friends so much when I stop seeing them in a daily basis, and since he is in my class in college it was easy for him to get close.

We didn't like each other in the beginning, but he caught my eye and we had an essay together... err, moving on. I slept over at his place hundreds of times, and we would usually stay up until like 6am just chatting. We are so alike that being with him just feels right, you know?

We like the same stuff, we act alike... aaaand all of our friends think that he is hitting on me.

We both have girlfriends. As far as he told me, his relationship is falling apart, and so is mine. I just don't know what to do, and I can't stay alone with him without feeling the urge to kiss the hell out of him.

What should I do?

[Bravo]

I forgot to mention I'm not out to everyone yet. I just told my closest female friends (two) and a gay friend.

I also told my mom, but funny thing is (or sad, I don't know how I should feel about this), she thought I was kidding. And some weeks before that she said the thinks bisexuality is a new modern trend that straight guys use to show they're not homophobic. WUT?

[southbiochem]

Welcome to GS fellow South American

now, firsts things first..

you didn't mention if this guy is straight, bi or gay...we need to know that before making any comment on the matter

P.S: *sigh* don't pay much attention to you mom

[Bravo]

Thanks!

That's the problem. I wish I knew his sexuality, that would make things a lot easier for me.

We went to clubs and parties together, and I can count on one hand the amount of people that came to talk to me and didn't ask if he was gay. Our friends think he is but have no evidence. He is effeminate, but that doesn't mean he likes guys...

Male friends in Brazil are a lot more touchy than in other countries, and that's something that makes it even harder for me. He already touched my thighs and my butt, and also jokes about people's thoughts about his theoretical sexuality by acting a bit "gay-er".

I already tried to tell him, but I'm too scared I might lose him...

[southbiochem]

Well, firsts things first....

nothing can happen as long as you and him are involved with other people..

if you don't know for sure about his sexuality try this:

when out in parties or clubs, ask him in a joking manner : "hey, what would you do if a man hits on you?" or maybe try to start conversations about LGBT rights and see his reaction..

if you know what his sexuality is, then you can push further on...

remember that if a chance appears to do do something, be honest with the GF first. Don't cheat.

Best of lucks

[justbry87]

Yeah..

Maybe you should sort out your gf situation first? I mean I don't
know how you are with your gf, but she deserves to know how you
really feel about her, even if you don't tell her the whole truth.

I think you do that first before you even try something with your
best friend.

good luck~

[oneofcuriousity]

hey
well im going to sound negative but i have been in ur boat. i liked a friend that i known for a long time, i took it as romance feelings but it turned that we were just becoming closer friends. are u sure about your feelings as they can be easily confused.
also about the mother thing, dont worry about that. mine still thinks im in a phase

[Bravo]

Once we were at a party with some friends from college, and he was already a bit drunk when a colleague accused him of being gay. He got pissed and rushed away. I followed him and told him he shouldn't mind about what that dude said, and I wouldn't mind if he turned out to be gay because that's none of my business, whatever floats your boat, that kind of talk. That was the first time I've ever seen him react like that, but it was also the first time we went out together.


And that's actually how I started the conversation when I tried to come out to him. I was sleeping over, and I mentioned one of the (multiple times in non-LGBT clubs) times a dude hit on me. He seemed largely interested in my reaction, but I guess that's normal...

Most guys wouldn't know how to react. Many of my friends got pissed, and some just calmly explained to the guy that they were straight. I'm one of the calm ones, so I just told my friend what happened. He actually said he was impressed by the way I reacted, and that he didn't know I was this open minded. I just wish I could tell him without taking risks


As for my gf, we've been in-and-out for the past couple of months. My friends have seen her making out with some other guy in a club not too long ago... I guess I'm already free to move on, but I just can't do it without talking to her first. As for him, he just seems to mention his gf with disgust. He can't stand her anymore but stays with her just for the sake of having someone.