Hetero-normative Relationships

[Joshular]

Well IMO I don't think there needs to be someone who's more dominint and one more submissive in a relationship to be helathy. That stuff only exsists in porn u.u
I thikn people to be sucsessfull in a relationship the person you are with must become your very best best friend.

[dfiant1]

I'm with Josh, there doesn't need to be some that 'wears the pants' in a relationships as the best relationships I have seen work are by couples who share and respect each other as equals. There is nothing normative about real love because real love is unconditiona and knows no bounds.

[EMH]

IMO, a successful relationship doesn't need someone to play a "dominant" or "submissive" (I use these terms for lack of better ones) roles. If two people pursue a relationship together, behavior roles shouldn't define the relationship. Everyone is different. If a couple does happen to fit into the "hetero-normative" category, that's great as well, but it's just another label. Essentially what I'm saying is that a relationship doesn't require one partner to be "masculine" and the other to be "feminine" or both to be one or the other. But if you prefer your partner to be of one "behavior" or another, that is your preference. Everyone is different, and what works for one couple may not work for another.

[Sylph]

Oh dear, I think the topic got slightly misconstrued.

I do realize fully that equal relations in both aspects of the typical "normal" conventions and not so conventional ways , work.

I myself while knowing how I am would prefer someone who is more my opposite, "filling where I lack", am not opposed to a person who does not so long as I loved them, vice versa.

I am not saying that relationships need to be hetero a normative, I was simply inquiring as to why, especially amongst the gay community, is it seen with such taboo or even disgust. Bowyns' post was actually sort of affirming of my beliefs and gave me answers that actually make a lot of sense in regards of why it may be considered taboo.

But now that my cogs are wheeling again after bowyn greased them up, i'd like to know direct this in another direction actually.

Why do men in particular of the gay persuasion tend to seek or prefer other men who resemble themselves? In both physical or mental.

Basically, what is the need or even attraction for Masc4Masc or other types of (no pun intended) "same love" attractions?

I know we're attracted to what we are, but there seems to be this desire or need or belief of "I'm regular/average, I'm open to anyone" although all the while, there is always that under note or feel of "but..." Which is usually followed by the envitable declaration of desire of a person who is also "regular/average.".

And this is not a dig at you Mars, but it did remind me and even you have to admit, you're a smarty pants, you must be able to see and obviously feel this.

I'm just curious again. It always seems like a conscious attraction, like something you make yourself want.

Forgive my ever restless mind >,>

[southbiochem]

I'm not sure that is a conscious "trend" but maybe I can put it like this..

straight men want to date girl who resemble..girls obviously....

gay men often will look for other...men...you know?

at least that's what I look...to me there is no undernote...

I want an "average acting" guy...I'm not about to discard other types (more butch, more fem, etc) if I happen to come across one I like...but I'm not going to actively search for those types..I prefer a guy who is like me---ish..

for me, that's the only way there can be somewhat of an equal partnership....

that's just me...why does everyone else looks for this, I can't say

[nfisher1226]

I tend to think it has a lot to do with having things in common. I have no interest in fashion, therefore I'd be annoyed being with someone who talked about fashion all day. I have no interest in sports, therefore I'd be annoyed listening to someone talk about sports all day. I enjoy cooking, therefore a guy who likes to cook already has a conversational advantage.

Please don't bring up the fact I used stereotypes. They were just to illustrate the point.