I want to come out to my family.....

[kroeger234]

I have always wanted to come out to my family and the rest of my friends. But I just don't know how. I don't even know if they will accept the fact that I am gay. I've known I've been gay for some time now, and I'm getting angry at myself for staying in the closet!

I need to know how to come out. I'm sure there are hundreds of people in the same position as me and we all have a unique ways of wanting to come out.

I was wondering if anyone had any advice or support they could give me? Or any experiences they could share to influence me to come out.

[Woollyhats]

Coming out depends highly on the type of parents you have.

If you have good indication that they would accept you - yes, you should do this, it will make your life a lot easier whenever you're around your parents and at home.

However, if you have an indication that they would not accept you, factors come into play like ensuring financial stability, and possibly moving out before you tell them --- if you're even going to bother telling them at all.

Some people seem to be in the middle, which is that they have absolutely no idea how their parents would feel. In this case, you have to make up your mind and discover what you're going to do, if anything.

You do not give a lot of information -- I will say that coming out will make your life easier in the long run, because you won't have to have awkward conversations about why you don't have a girlfriend, stuff like that, and even if the response is negative -- the sooner you come out the sooner you can work on developing a positive relationship with your parents where you are yourself, if possible. It will also relieve so much stress, you'll never have to wonder what it will be like, if you'll introduce your boyfriend to them if you get one, etc etc.

I personally came out when my mom was driving me somewhere, so if the reaction was bad I'd have a breather before coming home later, but if the reaction was good, I'd be able to talk about it briefly. I had indication that she would have a positive response, so I wasn't worried about being made to leave my home or anything like that. It also made it more casual, and the reaction was good.

[kroeger234]

Wow that's great buddy thank you! I just want to do it soon, get it out of the way!

[Sylph]

In my case, I never came out, my mama did it for me lol

However, I would just be honest and as brave as I dared.

I do have to exist in my kind of society, which is sort of like a giant closet itself, so everytime I go somewhere I kind of "out" myself with who I am and how I dress, but in life, you have to be courageous sometimes and not allow yourself to be suppressed and held down.

Just talk to them. Make sure you know where you want your life to go, have a plan, backups as well, and just sit whoever down and drop them a quick <3

:hugs-and-kisses-smi

[southbiochem]

First, you study the dangers..

you can expect a bad reaction to some extent in every case, but if it will get to the point of being kicked out or hurt, then wait until you are fully independent..

if your parents are the non-abusive type (hopefully), they are not overly religious (saying for example gay = eternity in hell)

then it would be safe to come out, as your physical and psychological integrity are not being jeopardized..

Personally, I have not done so myself..I was just too afraid..now..I don't know, I'm economically independent of them, so what my parents say about it has become utterly irrelevant to me.

How to do it? There I can't be of much help, but Woolly makes a good example about "keeping it a casual thing". That sounds like a good approach

so, courage and luck, mister mile:

[kroeger234]

Thank you very much

[elad12]

You could be like me and wait until you are 60 years old........ but I don't recommend that I think if you really want to come out you might consider coming out to someone you trust. I started by coming out to gay friends. I found once I started it was easier and I have since come out to most of my family and friends. Now I just come out to people that I want to know, or if someone ask me.


I wish you the best!!

[Eth21]

I'm in the same boat as you accept I've only just accepted my sexuality but think that I will prob do it soon as people are beginning to raise eyebrows and I want to come out on my own terms not cause someone has forced me to!! So I'm not much help but I kinda know we're your coming from

[trywait]

I never really came out.... I've never denied it either, so does that count as coming out?

[EvenOlderButWiser]

First off, to the forum

There are plenty of coming out stories on YouTube, just do a search.

My advice would be choose your initial (small) group of people carefully. You need people who will be supportive, not berate you and knock your confidence.

Most people choose to tell one of the following as a first step:

Mum - Mums are incredibly intuitive, and you may be surprised by her response.
Sibling - Usually a sister, as girls are slightly less intimidating than another male.
Best Friend (M or F) - Be prepared for the usual round of questions, usually starting with "are you sure, do you fancy me and what type of guys do you like?"

Some people choose to come out via social media (Facebook for example) I don't recommend this, unless your sexuality is already obvious to everyone, in which case it won't come as a surprise anyway.

However you choose, good luck

ObW
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