Problem with my gay flatmate( I'm straight)

[dfiant1]

I find this sort of behaviour extremely disrespectful.

I come from a world where NO means NO, I don't care if you are gay, straight, male, female, if the answer to THE question is NO, then don't pester and pressure people for your own benefit, it's plain bloody wrong.

Congratulations on being so patient and tolerant of his advances, but I think you are going to have to pay him a rude awakening to get any results...time to get angry...not nasty, just angry.

[Joshular]

You have the right to ask exactly the same question but reversed: "how can you be sure you're gay if you haven't made love with a girl?" There is no need to shout at him. As others haveb said, just say to him "I'm as straight as you're gay and I am not the least bit interested in youm sexually, your flirting is intrusive and inappropriate, I don't like it so STOP. If he doesn't then say: "How will your boyfriend react if I tell him?"

Let us know how you get on.

Well knowing general gay fags. May that I know have fucked chicks -.-
Gay sluts are sluts.

ALSO I find this shit disrespectful like dfiant.
Even more disrespectful the fact that he's got a partner and is trying it on with you. If he was my BF and I found out. It'd be over u.u

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Im sorry to say, but what you've described is bordering on sexual harassment.

Some guys think they can get away with it, especially if its directed towards another guy, but honestly its crossing the line as far as Im concerned.

You need to start thinking about finding a new place. Then you need to sit him down (or preferably both of them) and clear the air.

The bottom line is that you are paying a share of the rental costs, so have a right to expect some privacy. Nothing wrong with socialising, but he's pushing it too much in my opinion.

Either he agrees to back off, or you take yourself and your rent contribution somewhere else.

Good Luck.

ObW
X

[MikeIsNotPG]

"how can you be sure you're straight if you haven't made love with a guy?"

It's at this point that he should have shut his fucking cock holster. That is NOT ok. If he expects you to respect his sexuality, then why the fuck isn't he respecting yours?

Honestly, you should tell him to stop and if he doesn't, talk to your flatmate about it.
Hope it all goes well.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

shut his fucking cock holster

Thats the first time Ive ever seen/heard anyone refer to a mouth as a cock holster

Made my day

ObW
X

[Miles]

He needs to back off, and you have to be the one to tell him. Flirting playfully is one thing but cutting into your time and asking personal/confusing questions ("how do you know you like x if you haven't tried y" is a terribly annoying question whether it's meant seriously or not) warrants your drawing line in the sand.

I've had this happen to me several times and it's incredibly irksome and uncomfortable, so I feel your pain. Just gotta be quick, to the point, and firm. Not harsh, just firm.

[Justinintendo]

I'll admit, I've actually been guilty of similar behavior in my life...and then I moved to Dallas, Texas, and I encountered men that will flirt with ANYTHING with a penis, and will not take no for an answer. I decided at this point to no longer be that person. Yeah, I might look at a nice ass/bulge now and then, but it never moves beyond that. Because I'm not here to make anyone else uncomfortable.

What your roommate is doing is clearly wrong, he's being very overbearing about it, and is very likely trying to get into your pants. You're a conquest to him, there are many gay men out there that want to "convert" straight men.

You need to make it clear that no means no, and if he continues to behave this way, take it to the boyfriend. If the boyfriend doesn't put a stop to it, then it's probably time to move out and take your rent contribution somewhere else.

[Dreamer]

So is it just some kind of weird gay sense of humor or is he interested in me?

Based on what you described, there's nothing humorous about what he's said or done. To be clear: gay men's humor doesn't expand past the norms of "straight humor", despite minor differences (maybe), so your instincts are correct in that he is not only flirting with you, but also Invading your personal boundaries like a total creeper.


He's being extremely disrespectful, and you shouldn't stand for it. He may be flirty by nature, and mean no harm, but it's making you uncomfortable, so even if he was exerting some sort of "gay humor", you need to stand up for yourself, and tell him how it's making you uncomfortable, that he's being highly inappropriate, and how you'd appreciate if he toned it down a bit.

He knows I’m straight, so does he really think he can make it change?

It doesn't matter what he thinks, he only cares about himself in this situation. He's a horn-dog, and you want your space. So leave it at that. He's knows he's crossing the line, and could give two fucks about changing your orientation, he just wants to get into your pants, and that's wrong, especially since he already has a boyfriend (assuming their in a monogamous relationship).


Like Rainbowmum insisted, if you stay quiet, he will interpret that you are accepting of his behavior, and will get more inappropriate as time goes on. STOP IT NOW!

Sometimes I think that maybe I should talk to his boyfriend and tell him what does his lover do when he’s gone.

I don't know if that's a good idea, unless your prepared to find a new place to live if that decision turns against you. It's ultimately up to you, but since you're not on a friend-to-friend basis with either of them, as in strictly roommates and nothing more, that can definitely backfire! IMO, their relationship troubles are none of your business, so you should keep it between you and the perpetrator, and squash the problem by yourself.


With that said, if your word doesn't sway him to stop, then you should definitely tell his boyfriend, but have a backup plan if things go south, and you have to move out for whatever reason, just to be safe!


Good luck, and keep us updated with how things worked out!

[Bowyn Aerrow]

If you correct his behaviors he will scream 'HomoPhobe!'..... Watch and see.

why? Because his flirting with you is outside the boundaries of his relationship since he is doing this when his 'husband' is away.

The problem is going to be a complex one to solve. If you approach him he is going to do everything in his power to shut you down so his 'husband' won't believe that he is picking up on you - hitting on you, trying to suck your cock while the husband is away dealing with family.

That bathroom scene - tells me right off that he is trying to get into your pants. This is NOT friendly flirting, this is "I want to have sex with you" flirting. And its cheating flirting since he doesn't act this way when the BF is at home.

Next time he does something like this, tell him point blank that the next time his towel slips, or he makes all flirty with you, you are going to his husband (and use that word) and letting the husband know what is going on around the house when the husband is away.

[Anonymous]

Thank for your answers, guys!

Well, this weekend has come, his boyfriend has left and he's starting again.

The thing is that the fact his boyfriend might find out about his actions, doesn't really bother him. I told him that if he doesn't stop, I'll tell his boyfriend everything and he was just like "go on". I got a feeling that his boyfriend doesn't mean anything to him, because he said that he doesn't give a sh*t about what will he think and that he likes me a lot more.

I see that he clearly doesn't believe I'm straight. He said that once I've been with a guy, I'll never want to be with a girl again.