Problem with my gay flatmate( I'm straight)

[Anonymous]

I’m a straight young guy and a student. Right now I’m living in a flat-share together with two guys. When I moved in, I realized that they’re gay couple. I’m definitely not a homophobe, I'm quite gay friendly, but we didn't actually become friends, just flatmates. Just they don’t bother me and I don’t bother them. They’re living in one room and I’m living in the other.

Every weekend one of those guys leaves our flat for a few days. As far as I know, he’s visiting his parents in some other city. And the thing is that when he’s gone, his boyfriend is flirting with me. I’m sorry, but I don’t know other word for his behavior. It started in the first weekend after I moved in. He came to me and told me that he was bored and wanted someone to talk to. I didn't send him away, I can understand that sitting alone in your room is no fun. Now he spends with me almost every moment, although I often use weekends for studying and I don’t have much time for him.
Once we accidentally met in the bathroom when he was out of the shower and suddenly his towel fell to the floor, but actually it looked like he dropped it purposely. Then he complimented me saying that I’ve cute butt. I never say anything to him, because I’m not sure what does he mean by all this.
The last time he asked me millions of questions about my relationships with girls, my experience, likes and dislikes in sex. He asked if I ever had anything with a guy. When I said no, he was like "how can you be sure you're straight if you haven't made love with a guy?" I have to say, I felt stupid. We are not that much of friends for him to ask me such things.

So is it just some kind of weird gay sense of humor or is he interested in me? He knows I’m straight, so does he really think he can make it change? Sometimes I think that maybe I should talk to his boyfriend and tell him what does his lover do when he’s gone. The next weekend is coming and he'll probably come to me again. One things that's bad is that I'm a decent and polite person. I cannot just yell at him to get lost. What should I do?

[TonyAndonuts]

I know that friends sometimes flirt and tease with each other just for the funsies, so he might just be playful. But if it bothers you, you might want to be honest and tell him. I personally think it's a tad rude to pry on one's sexuality, especially if you tell them what it is and they try to bring you over to the other side. I mean, if gay people hate it when straight people try to "straighten" them up, then they shouldn't do the same to straight people by "gaying" them up. If you're straight, if you just don't find men attractive and you have no interest in them sexually, then just leave it at that. I don't think you need to screw another guy just to make sure...I think. Only if you're legitimately curious about guys like me... >_> But yeah, I would talk to him. Ask if he's being serious or joking and make your sexuality perfectly clear.

[Sylph]

He sounds like he needs to back up some and give you some damn space gurl.

He can't be jumping down your urethra, no matter how bored or alone he is.

I can't stand overly clingy or wanting persons, cause they always wanna keep getting more and more out of you, starting with like compliments, and then it just goes from there.

He could be insecure or unhappy in the relationship or anything really, but unless he tells you, without verbally raping you, or you ask him if you care to help/find out, then he needs to dress back a lil, cause he's creeping into your space.

Just clearify your boundaries. Just be like, "K mate, I'm not a homophobe or whatever, but I'd just like to make it clear my zipper has a girl code only"

It's not rude to have a line drawn if you're uncomfortable.

But it's definitely not a gay thing, it's a him thing and he needs to either sort it out or you need to help him or drop him. Whatever allows you to feel comfortable.

[loserguy]

In my opinion he is over-doing the flirting and needs to be put in his place pronto.

The next time he approaches you in this way you tell him that you are uncomfortable with the tone of his conversation and that if he does it again, you will mention it to his boyfriend.

Tell him that you have no problem chatting to him but that your personal life is private and strictly off limits. Then walk away and give him time to reflect on his actions.

I'm afraid this is all his doing and he has given you no choice here.
I hope this helps and it will get him off your back.

[Bluelight]

I don't know, personally I would never say things like that to a straight guy friend, and especially not to my roommate, I feel like it's kind of disrespectful. Tell him it makes you uncomfortable, he should know better.

[MisterTinkles]

I can understand the flirting and "moves", but its going past the line when he starts asking you personal questions.

Put down some flat rules. Put them in writing and hang them on your door or someplace.

Tell him you do not appreciate the "flirting" and the barrage of personal questions. You don't mind visiting, but anything personal or suggestive needs to be kept to himself.

[Rainbowmum]

Sweetie you need to make a stand and tell him straight out that his flirting is making you feel uncomfortable.

Silence leaves a lot of room for interpretation speech does not.

[marshlander]

He sounds like he is trying it on. Some people are like that and it doesn't matter whether they are gay or straight. You're there to study. If he's stopping you spending your time on your own priorities you will probably have to tell him in very plain language. I'm sure you can be explicit without being rude.

This sounds like it could be quite wearing. I hope it is not also intimidating.

[southbiochem]

You are entitled nevermind the sexual orientation of a person to draw a line as to where is OK for people to step on your personal space..

now, he's probably a tease and a natural flirt (he may even not mean anything by it) but if it makes you uncomfortable you should let him know about it and set boundaries.

If he doesn't comply to those rules, adress the BF and tell him how the guy behaves when he's gone.

Also, that horrible horrible phrase...how do you know you like "x" if you haven't been with "y"

straight people often ask that question and my answer is...yes, I've never been with a girl, but I can't tell you how many times I've had a boner watching a guy and had nothing happening when I see a girl..

you can tell him that :"I am just simply not attraced physically nor emotionally towards males"

[LONDONER]

[QUOTE=Anonymous;383420... "how can you be sure you're straight if you haven't made love with a guy?" [/QUOTE]

You have the right to ask exactly the same question but reversed: "how can you be sure you're gay if you haven't made love with a girl?" There is no need to shout at him. As others have said, just say to him "I'm as straight as you're gay and I am not the least bit interested in you sexually, your flirting is intrusive and inappropriate, I don't like it so STOP. If he doesn't then say: "How will your boyfriend react if I tell him?"

Let us know how you get on.