So today I went to my parents house to find my dad had gone to work so it was just me and my mum. I figured this would be the perfect opportunity to perhaps talk to her since she's noticed that something is amiss. However after 3hrs of my pulse been sky high as I was so nervous still nothing came out even when she asked what was up...
I've come to the decision that I get way to nervous when trying to do this face to face so I'm thinking of writing a letter.
So my question is what do you guys think of this and has anyone else done this in the past??
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Still closeted here..I haven't done anything like it...
writing a letter seems OK, the question is what kind of reaction do you predict? (given what you know of her)
more importantly. are you in any shape of supporting yourself if the worst case scenario occurs?
take that into consideration before adressing the parents..
I would suggest: why don't you do the letter thing (sounds reasonable) with that friend of yours?..
and then you can have some form of tangible support system, perhaps?
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Didn't Davy (a YT person some people here have liked) make a "form letter" or even generic "coming out" vid to send to your parents? It might help (even if it's inspiration for how to best word it face to face or as a letter, which may be shared, btw).
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I don't live with my parents so I would be ok on that front
And I'm 99% sure she would be ok with it but it's the 1% which makes me so nervous I can't speak.
I could but it would be difficult to get a letter to her as she's got a lot of work and placements coming up for the next few months so I'm reluctant to bother her now.
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Eth i think telling your mum would be easier than a letter. This is remarkably similiar to your other thread and your friend, the longer you leave it the harder it will get, tell your mum in the morning… then get on with life cause its clearly having an effect on you.
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I am sorry to hear you are finding this so difficult, but as you recognise, this is your struggle. I don't think he'll mind me mentioning it, but my partner, known as PA on here, eventually came out to his mother in a beautifully constructed e-mail message. It took him a couple of days to write it. Eventually he hit send and the deed was done. Although he and I had been together for more than a year (and other members of the family were wondering why this English bloke was there so often!) he was in his forties before finding the wherewithal to come out. There is, of course more to the story, but you can probably trawl back through PA's 13,000 posts to find it :-)
That had a good outcome and I have been welcomed into the family. You will know your mother best, of course, but if you write a letter you can take time to express yourself however you feel it best.
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Letters, cards, post cards, emails, videos.....its all been done before. You wont be alone in doing it.
Just one word of advice............once you have written the letter, keep it short and simple. And leave it for one day before you mail it off or give it to her. Re-read it the next day to make SURE it says what you want it to say.
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How dare you, I'm your mother, and you want to tell me something this important via a letter? Well young man you might as well have just sent it in the mail - A letter - I thought we had a better relationship than that, I thought I raised you better than that!
I don't know your mom, but you can paraphrase that all in her voice.....
I don't know, something this 'big' isn't something you send a letter on.
Its three simple words, 'I am gay.'
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Could use a word of wisdom
