MisterTinkles Wrote:The dog apparently liked you as well. Nudging you is a sign of "hello" or "pet me". Most animals dont do this unless they feel comfortable around you. He may have sensed your emotional state and come over to say "hey, dont be scared, Im a good dog".
That's absolutely correct. I grew up with 2 big dogs at home, and they used to do this... Most people felt intimidated by their size. I've been bitten before too, but you have to keep in mind not all dogs are aggressive.
And yes, my husky used to bite my arm to get my attention or to just play with me. My beagle does that all the time too.
Anonymous Wrote:It's german shepherd. I'm.especially afraid of large dogs like this one.
I've tried to tell him that I don't feel well when near dogs, but somehow I chicken at the last minute. These relationships mean a lot to me. What if he won't want to waste his time dealing with a coward like me.
I get the whole fear of rejection thing, but what few people seem to understand is when you are rejected by a person its usually a good thing, as that person just is not the person you need to be around.
Quote:What if he won't want to waste his time dealing with a coward like me.
If that is his stance on the matter, you really need to know that so you can move on and find a guy who will understand that this fear of dogs does not mean you are a coward, and that there is no such thing as 'wasting time' with a person you love - regardless of what you two are doing.
Fear is not a shameful thing, fear is a damn good emotion to experience, and its mere existence is what has lead to humans being the apex predator and surviving to reach unbelievable population densities. If humans had no fear, they would have been eaten by sabre tooth tigers or wooly mammoths or something long ago.
Fear serves a purpose. Yes, in your case your fear is a little irrational, however you had a real experience which means your fear is valid, and expected and may not be easy to overcome, but can be in time, with patience, love and gentleness.
Does anyone know of your fear of dogs? Have you been able to talk about that to anyone, or are you ashamed of this fear thus work to hide it? If so, then this time, this experience, this situation may be presenting itself to you to actually start 'dealing with' your fear, to own it and to accept it without shame.
hmm this is difficult, i think you should speak to your guy about this and get to know the dog and maybe get help, german shephards are nice breeds, intelligent and loyal, he just wanted to say hello
Yes, my family know about my fear of dogs, and some of my friends do. My friends don't own dogs though, their are either cat or rodent people, so it has never really been a problem. I haven't really talked to anyone about my fear. Maybe it's because I feel a little bit ashamed, because I believe usually children are afraid of dogs. It would be a little silly for an adult.
I'll probably tell him about this sometime soon, he invited me to come over again, so probably he has to know how I feel. He's very nice, I think he would understand.
Anonymous Wrote:Yes, my family know about my fear of dogs, and some of my friends do. My friends don't own dogs though, their are either cat or rodent people, so it has never really been a problem. I haven't really talked to anyone about my fear. Maybe it's because I feel a little bit ashamed, because I believe usually children are afraid of dogs. It would be a little silly for an adult.
I'll probably tell him about this sometime soon, he invited me to come over again, so probably he has to know how I feel. He's very nice, I think he would understand.
Shame is typical with anyone who has a phobia (miscalled an irrational fear of X - more often than not there is a good reason to be terrified, like in your case you were bitten).
And thinking its childish - yeah that too is typical. Fear is not childish, everyone has fear. Fear is a healthy normal reaction to situations, and in your case you have a past experience that drove home loud and clear that dogs should be seriously respected for their ability to bite, if not feared.
I believe if you tell people you were bit by a dog at a young age they will empathize with you and few will think its childish.
I have a serious fear of planes crashing - meaning if I get on one I know it will crash. No one has ever told me its 'childish'. Many suggested a lot of ways to get around the fear... Some want to know more to really try to understand.
Maybe the dog felt that you were scared and wanted to show that not every dog is horrible Anyway it's pretty normal that you have fears. You're a human being and I'm sure your bf will understand it. Obviously he can't get rid of the dog but at least can be close to you when the dog is there.
Anonymous Wrote:I haven't told my guy about my fear. I'm afraid he'll laugh about me
I used to be terrified of dogs. I'm still scared until I get to know the individual. It's not an insurmountable obstacle.
He probably noticed that you didn't react warmly to his dog, and may be wondering whether you don't like dogs, or are afraid of them. The sooner you bring it up, the better. Don't leave him to wonder. Let him know about the experience you had, and ask him for his help with your problem. He won't laugh at you, and he won't judge you. Dog lovers generally reach out to people who are afraid of dogs, and try to help them overcome their fear. That's been my experience. They distrust and dislike people who don't like dogs, so make sure not to give him that impression.
It's tough to start with a German Shepherd, as they are pretty big. The younger the dog is, the more rambunctious he'll be, and that will make it even more difficult. Someone suggested a pet store. This might be a good idea for getting your feet wet.
Reading a dog's body language is going to be important. It can be different with different breeds and different individuals, but generally speaking, if a dog is coming toward you, and he isn't growling, he wants to be friends. One of the first things you need to learn (and overcome the fear of) is that you need to let him smell your hand before you try to pet him. It's kind of like eye contact among humans.
You'll probably never become a dog lover, but with some coaching you can eventually reach the point where you are comfortable with this particular dog.
You shouldn't feel ashamed for being afraid of dogs at any age, many people have fears and phobias. Your fear was founded on a past event, happening at an early age means it's deep in your psyche. As others said, it'll take time to overcome but work at it, see a therapist if you need and don't be ashamed.
Here's a video on getting on with dogs and your fear of them.
I had a dog that was part shepherd, they can be very social and friendly. 99.9% of all dogs will not attack you unless you give them a reason to, and contrary to what you may have been thinking, the dog most likely approached you because he wanted to see you. My dogs get so excited when they meet new people that they jump and whine and get all wound-up, but they would never bite. I assure you that this guy's dog just wanted to get to know you.
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Capricorn
Anyway it's pretty normal that you have fears. You're a human being and I'm sure your bf will understand it. Obviously he can't get rid of the dog but at least can be close to you when the dog is there.
