Hello everyone, I will get right to it. So for I guess you could say I have had my moment of clarity, or rather the "holy shit, am I a sad drunk?" moment. I work a job where I am not allowed to drink 12 hours before my shift starts. I work 24 hrs on, and have 48 hrs off. Well for about the past 8 months I have been drunk or black out drunk 1/3 of the time. I never used to have a problem drinking. I was always able to work up a little buzz and cut it off. But now i feel like I use liquor as a crutch to escape my problems. My friends sat me down and kind of had a pseudo intervention with me. They are worried for me and told me that when I drink I get out of control and drink straight liquor from the bottle. They told me I'm not myself when I drink to much, and that I become extremely bitter and put myself down and even talk about suicide sometimes. (Being that I'm black out drunk, I don't remember saying these things) I guess I'm asking how the whole process works about being sober. I do enjoy drinking beer and haven't really ever got drunk on beer, but I am going to quit everything for 3 months. And see my therapist again. I am drinking because I am depressed, so I figure if I can pull myself out of this hole, and I am able to stay sober for three months, then maybe I will allow myself to have a beer every now and then. I don't know yet though. I am starting today. So if it feels like I absolutely have to have a drink, then I may swear off every bit of alcohol all together.
Thanks for listening
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One day at a time. I used to drink for the same, reasons . The only drink youdon't have to have is the next one.
You have done the hardest thing. Realized there is a problem. and desired to changethat.
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You drink to treat depression. You are then effectively self medicating...
I used AA/NA programs to get me through the first two years - Sharing and listening to shares went a long way at helping me... then there was the fresh new social doors open which meant I had other places to go kill time - other than bars.
The phone numbers came in handy a few times - several times - no many times.
Like you I was self medicating, unlike you I wasn't aware I was drinking because I was __________ (fill in the blank). So it took me a bit longer to figure out the WHY I drink.
Having a therapist will make it easier.
I would suggest you set a smaller, easier goal to manage. AA says take it one day at a time - a person can do a single day, and even sit there and promise themselves that tomorrow they will have a drink, just today they will pass on it. When tomorrow comes we can renegotiate this deal.
I drink on occasion now days. Yes true, there have been a few days where I have drank to the point where I was near vomiting.... Not a good thing, however most days I can drink A beer or A cocktail and not need to have another and another and another.
Big difference between I want a beer and I need a beer.
so there is a good deal of hope here that yeah, you can get yourself to being able to drink a couple of beers and not need to get plastered.
Since you understand the underlying real condition here is depression, perhaps talk to your therapist about working on that in other ways? Maybe consider taking one of the newer antidepressants along with therapy - using the prescription med to take the edge off?
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This is my first time on this forum and your post caught my attention. I could have written (as many others can) this describing myself.
For many yrs I drank a litre of liquor on a daily basis. The type wasn't important. Masking my depression and anxiety was. When I lost most of my friends and my drink restricted job, I switched to beer. I thought I could control it because of it's lower alcohol content.
I got my buzz, depression and anxiety were gone, so I figured I had it under control. That worked for a while. Then i figured "If I feel good drinking this much, drinking more will make me feel even better!"
I went right back to all of my past problems and consequences.
My sobriety involved many relapses. It was very hard! It took a long time. It is critical to have a support system. Continue working with your therapist, accept that the process will not be easy at first. The bad feelings, both mental & physical, will pass. Don't allow yourself to feel guilt, shame, or anger if you have relapses. It's important to get the feelings out of your head to. Get support from a friend, anyone really, who will just listen. AA meetings are good for that. You can even keep a journal and write out your thoughts and feelings everyday. Especially before sleep.
Good luck! You may contact me via email, or the social networks if you need anything.
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Alcohol is enhancing your depression not helping it.
Fair enough if you can tackle this by yourself but you need to be honest with yourself in order to do that. Have you considered AA as they provide advice and a support service?
My own feelings on alcohol are that it is a good thing when socialising and when you are in control to the extent that it doesn't get you into trouble.
If you cannot use it to your benefit, it uses you and that is when all the problems start.
It is not necessarily how much you drink (within reason) but rather when and where and what affect it has on you.
Admitting your problem is the right move and I hope you can conquer it.
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unkown21 Wrote:I guess I'm asking how the whole process works about being sober. I do enjoy drinking beer and haven't really ever got drunk on beer,
...stay sober for three months, then maybe I will allow myself to have a beer every now and then...
...I may swear off every bit of alcohol all together.
Swearing off all acohol is definitely the wiser strategy, but most of us have to learn our own lesson. In some cases experience is not the best teacher, but the only teacher.
I don't know how you're intending to quit, but I would highly recommend AA. They're not the be-all and end-all like they act like they are, and there are some legitimate complaints, but they do have by far the highest success rate when it comes to sobriety.
You don't need to quit before your first meeting, just go regardless. If you're not comfortable with the meeting, try another one in your area. It is amazing how different they can be. The first two meetings I went to were actually NA, and that was not what I needed. On the third one, I hit the jackpot. That meeting was perfect for me. Since then, I've been to many meetings, but few have come close.
On the day I chose to actually quit. I called a close friend - one I knew would be supportive. We talked for over an hour, then I spent the rest of the evening reading in "The Big Book".
After I had been sober for 4 months, I went to a meeting, collected my 4 month chip, and then went out and celebrated. I only had two drinks, and for the next year and a half, I rarely had more than two in a night and rarely drank more than three times a week. I'm not sure whether it was inevitable, but that slipped away, and now I'm thinking I really need to get back to those rooms. You'l be advised by AA not to start thinking you can handle a "beer every now and then", and I echo that advice. I had to find out for my self. If you do also, you won't be the first, nor the last.
Good Luck
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I just want to say, I haven't had a single drink, or drop of alcohol in one week. The only time I seem to want/crave to drink is when I am at home not doing anything. So I have been keeping myself busy I help combat any urge in drinking. It just seems strange to me that I have gone an entire week without drinking because I can't even remember the last time I have done that. Thank you all for your support, it means the world to me.
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Congratulations, and keep up the good work. You don't mention how you did it, nor is that important. What's important is that you know where to go when you start feeling weak. GS, AA, and your friends - the same ones who helped you get to where you are now. Good Luck.
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I have to suggest AA and also maybe some counseling. AA is excellent as working the program can help you to come to terms with the dynamics of addiction.
I am an alcoholic but I haven't had a drink in close to 30 years. Thing is...I am STILL an alcoholic and always will be. Alcohol is never an option.
There is a difference between a dry drunk and a recovering alcoholic though and I would suggest taking the recovering alcoholic route as it will give you important tools you will need to live a better life....AA is the first step
Good Luck
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Keeping busy is usually a big part of whatever advice I give relating to depression. Since you started doing that you're basically not giving yourself as much time to think about feeling depressed, which goes a long way towards solving the underlying problem. Keep doing that. It's possible for some people to pull themselves out of depression that way, and by making a conscious effort to think positively and enjoy life. It doesn't work for everyone, but it can still be a helpful part of the overall strategy.
If you're one of those people who can manage their own depression this way, then there's a better chance that you're also one of those people who can manage your drinking by just drinking a little less. There's a danger in that of course, but I know people who pull it off pretty well. Myself included, so I know it's possible. However I know other people, like my brother, who really just relapse into nightly binge drinking unless they cut out alcoholism entirely. You need to be sure you're one of the former or you need to just completely stop.
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