Single "forever"? Definitely not me..... Single for some moment, of course...but forever, no.
I wanna have some companion in life...cause i am not good in being alone. It would depress me for sure most especially if i'll reach my late 30s 40s and still single (knock knock)
However i dont know in what way could I break my singlehood..cause i dont go to bars, no nightlife at all, just a boring guy who works, sleeps, goes out every now and then, travels, etc. And the dating sites are too awkward to use (sorry for the users) it's just too artificial for me...
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I'm single now, but I think you can't exactly decide to stay single forever. If you meet a nice guy, what will you do - push him away, just because you've decided to stay single forever?
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Lycanthropist Wrote:There is still the desire to have a partner, but I know the chances are very slight since I don't go to the bars (that's a young man's game there) or actually socialize that much. I've never been very extroverted, so that's working against me also. Now it's the age thing working against my favour. Meh. Winter time it's tough being stuck in the house all the time, so then your mind starts wandering and the loneliness settles in.
Please guys! Whatever your age, cocksize, weight or skin colour may be, there's a dating site made just for you! It only takes 2 people to form a relationship, making it a functional one takes alot of work and even more acceptance/tolerance from both.
I found my husbear by chance! I was new to this thing and was online just to get some visual stimulation when this random guy started writing me messages. I was on silverdaddies.com or something, looking for a silver bear to get off to. Pervy, looking at random strangers, I know.. But I was young(er)!
He says now that he never really went to that site, but just so happened to be there that night and noticed we were both from Denmark (he lived in Sweden at the time). I decided to pay him a visit after chatting for a couple of months and the rest is history. He likes to read/watch books/movies about history, wars etc. I don't.
I like to play games online. He doesn't.
In spite of our huge age difference and our somewhat different hobbies, we make it work. And it has worked well!!
So please guys, don't put yourselves down. It's not because of your age. It's because you simply haven't looked hard enough or atleast failed to find the right guy (or looking in the wrong place! With too high expectations!)
A friend of my husbear once said, while he was at our place, that he would never have a boyfriend who didn't own atleast a tuxedo. He ended up finding a student who had, by definition, nothing! And last time I checked, they were still happy together.
I'm not saying you should settle for less, but regardless of how great of a match you find, there will be kinks to iron out and differences to accept.
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well i had 23 years of being in the closet pretty much then 5 years of meeting guys, 2 relationships, a couple one night stands and now two years of being alone and wary of meeting anyone new. I have no problem with meeting guys, i could tonite if i wanted too but i dont want to hurt anyone or have new memorys but recently ive been feeling desperately alone like i need love more than food, im mal-nutritioned
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Is forever like next weekend?
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Recently I "decided" that I don't want to be single, probably I'm ready for an important relationship, not someone with a random person only to be less lonely... Mhhh...  Undecided, annoyed, lonely... And my personality is not so easy...
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I'm always amazed at threads like this and the palatable desperation in so many of the posts. Here's some perspective - so you hate being single, think no one will love you because you're (insert feeble reason here like: too old, too fat, too young, too skinny, too shy, etc) - GO TO WAL-MART on any given saturday afternoon and look around at all the couples! Yea, most are str8 but LOOK CLOSELY at the variety of couples. There are morbidly obese folks on those electric scooters with a spouse in tow. There are toothless redneck-like folks who look like they just came out of a Duck Dynasty/COPS or Jerry Springer episode.
THEY FOUND A LIFE PARTNER!
Stop making excuses. If you think you're too fat to be "attractive" - GET IN SHAPE. If you think you're "too shy" to meet socially - GET OUT FROM BEHIND THE COMPUTER AND JOIN A SOCIAL CLUB OF SOME SORT. THere are clubs of EVERY KIND out there and almost EVERY town has a gay social scene outside bars.
OH, and guess what - the fact that you're not "into the bar scene" is SUCH a cop out. You want to meet gay men but don't want to go where many gay men are (ie: THE BARS) - that makes no sense. NOT EVERY GAY BAR IS A HOOKUP SCENE. Stop making excuses!
If you think your "prince charming" is going to ride up to your house and find you hiding behind your computer and wisk you away to live happily ever after - YOU ARE NOT LIVING IN REALITY!
If you want to be happy with someone else, you have to be happy with you. If you're NOT happy, being with someone will NOT make you happy - i guarantee that!
Embrace your fears - challenge them - challenge yourself. If there's something you don't like about yourself - CHANGE IT! There's almost NOTHING you can't change and even if you have a birth defect or medical condition, just look at so many oothers who've overcome similar challenges and found love.
STOP WHINING!
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I'll make that decision when I'm dead.
I've never been terribly decisive however, so I'll probably just take this opportunity to LIVE FOREVER
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BobInTampa Wrote:I'm always amazed at threads like this and the palatable desperation in so many of the posts. Here's some perspective - so you hate being single, think no one will love you because you're (insert feeble reason here like: too old, too fat, too young, too skinny, too shy, etc) - GO TO WAL-MART on any given saturday afternoon and look around at all the couples! Yea, most are str8 but LOOK CLOSELY at the variety of couples. There are morbidly obese folks on those electric scooters with a spouse in tow. There are toothless redneck-like folks who look like they just came out of a Duck Dynasty/COPS or Jerry Springer episode.
THEY FOUND A LIFE PARTNER!
The only problem with this is usually, more often than not, these people have settled with whoever would give them "the time of day". They are unhappy, upset, and constantly fighting with who they have settled with. They do this because they are too scared to live alone, don't want to die alone, or whatever......
I refuse to settle. And if I have to go to my grave without being partnered or finding love, then so be it. I refuse to allow myself to be degraded by just taking whoever comes along and will tolerate me.
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BobInTampa Wrote:I'm always amazed at threads like this and the palatable desperation in so many of the posts. Here's some perspective - so you hate being single, think no one will love you because you're (insert feeble reason here like: too old, too fat, too young, too skinny, too shy, etc) - GO TO WAL-MART on any given saturday afternoon and look around at all the couples! Yea, most are str8 but LOOK CLOSELY at the variety of couples. There are morbidly obese folks on those electric scooters with a spouse in tow. There are toothless redneck-like folks who look like they just came out of a Duck Dynasty/COPS or Jerry Springer episode.
THEY FOUND A LIFE PARTNER!
Stop making excuses. If you think you're too fat to be "attractive" - GET IN SHAPE. If you think you're "too shy" to meet socially - GET OUT FROM BEHIND THE COMPUTER AND JOIN A SOCIAL CLUB OF SOME SORT. THere are clubs of EVERY KIND out there and almost EVERY town has a gay social scene outside bars.
OH, and guess what - the fact that you're not "into the bar scene" is SUCH a cop out. You want to meet gay men but don't want to go where many gay men are (ie: THE BARS) - that makes no sense. NOT EVERY GAY BAR IS A HOOKUP SCENE. Stop making excuses!
If you think your "prince charming" is going to ride up to your house and find you hiding behind your computer and wisk you away to live happily ever after - YOU ARE NOT LIVING IN REALITY!
If you want to be happy with someone else, you have to be happy with you. If you're NOT happy, being with someone will NOT make you happy - i guarantee that!
Embrace your fears - challenge them - challenge yourself. If there's something you don't like about yourself - CHANGE IT! There's almost NOTHING you can't change and even if you have a birth defect or medical condition, just look at so many oothers who've overcome similar challenges and found love.
STOP WHINING!
I totally agree with you, this is the attitude to have, love yourself first to be loved and to be able to love. It does work, and it is healthy
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