How many of you have decided to be single forever

[Lycanthropist]

What Mr. Tinkles said. I've had my share of trysts, but I'm at the point of knowing that I'm not going to settle just because. I am NOT going to support someone who 'lives for the weekend' just to spend all their time and money at the bar. I live in middle America. We do not have a thriving 'gay scene'. There are all of 2 gay bars in a 100 mile radius. Maybe my standards are a bit high for most people, but I need more than just physical attraction. More than anything, I need mental stimulation. Intelligent conversation more than who is doing what to who, and what is going on at the bar. That type of shit I couldn't care less about. I need someone who knows how to hold a job, has the ability to take care of themselves, and not rely on me to take care of their material needs. Also, someone not bat-shit crazy, or who fucks around and then lies about it. The hardest person to find is someone who can be faithful and truthful. That doesn't apply to all countries, cities or states, but it's very difficult to find around here. Believe me, I've looked. And that's not whining, it's called reality.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I'm always amazed at threads like this and the palatable desperation in so many of the posts. Here's some perspective - so you hate being single, think no one will love you because you're (insert feeble reason here like: too old, too fat, too young, too skinny, too shy, etc) - GO TO WAL-MART on any given saturday afternoon and look around at all the couples! Yea, most are str8 but LOOK CLOSELY at the variety of couples. There are morbidly obese folks on those electric scooters with a spouse in tow. There are toothless redneck-like folks who look like they just came out of a Duck Dynasty/COPS or Jerry Springer episode.

THEY FOUND A LIFE PARTNER!

Stop making excuses. If you think you're too fat to be "attractive" - GET IN SHAPE. If you think you're "too shy" to meet socially - GET OUT FROM BEHIND THE COMPUTER AND JOIN A SOCIAL CLUB OF SOME SORT. THere are clubs of EVERY KIND out there and almost EVERY town has a gay social scene outside bars.

OH, and guess what - the fact that you're not "into the bar scene" is SUCH a cop out. You want to meet gay men but don't want to go where many gay men are (ie: THE BARS) - that makes no sense. NOT EVERY GAY BAR IS A HOOKUP SCENE. Stop making excuses!

If you think your "prince charming" is going to ride up to your house and find you hiding behind your computer and wisk you away to live happily ever after - YOU ARE NOT LIVING IN REALITY!

If you want to be happy with someone else, you have to be happy with you. If you're NOT happy, being with someone will NOT make you happy - i guarantee that!

Embrace your fears - challenge them - challenge yourself. If there's something you don't like about yourself - CHANGE IT! There's almost NOTHING you can't change and even if you have a birth defect or medical condition, just look at so many oothers who've overcome similar challenges and found love.

STOP WHINING!

Easy for you to say since you are in a monogamous relationship. Hell I would never tell anyone to 'stop whining' when it comes to dating in the gay world. I know better even before my 14 year relationship flopped epically.

"NOT EVERY GAY BAR IS A HOOKUP SCENE. Stop making excuses!"

I have no idea what fairytale world you live in, but here the two gay bars in any reasonable walking distance (California doesn't let epileptics who have seizures that don't respond to medication drive) are exactly that - hook up joints one has sex in the back room and the back alley...

Issues - you try holding down a man for the long term after about the 20th time you wake him up with your sleep screaming because you have PTSD or finding a man who can deal with the occasional epileptic fit that lands up breaking shit.

Oh and not driving - seriously dudes expect everyone to have a car, drive and shit like that... Honestly they are shallow as hell.

So don't give me that whole 'people will deal with medical conditions' That may apply to the straight world, but we are talking about the faggots, who are predominately shallow and don't want 'drama' - Seriously go look at the personals on OK cupid and see how many clearly state they don't want to deal with drama. And there is no line in their narrow head between "issues" (depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, Epilepsy, being in a wheel chair) and 'drama' (crying, screaming and carrying on for days and days when you stub your fucking toe).

Or they expect you to be a professional... or that you be height weight proportional or a certain age range or..... Lots and lots and lots of ORs

Fags are the pickiest critters on earth.


Your advice sucks and reflects not the realities of the dating scene, especially the dating scene in the gay world.

[Kackerlacka]

I am a gay friendly straight man in a straight monogamous relationship and I intend to stay in this relationship until death do us apart! I love her shes so nice and caring

PLUS SHES HAWT <3

[findingmyway]

Fags are the pickiest critters on earth.

Would you like to host our gay pride parade this year? I think you'd make a great host.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Would you like to host our gay pride parade this year? I think you'd make a great host.

Oh that wouldn't end well - No sir, not well at all.

[obroin]

Having been in LTRs for the last 18 years - and being single again - for the last 9 months - I'd choose being in a relationship. But I'm very much open to finding 1 or more good friends for a FWB type relationship. Dating generally hasn't been a fun experience, but I'm very excited to find my next bf (eventually) - hopefully this one will be a 'keeper'.

[obroin]

Stop making excuses. If you think you're too fat to be "attractive" - GET IN SHAPE. If you think you're "too shy" to meet socially - GET OUT FROM BEHIND THE COMPUTER AND JOIN A SOCIAL CLUB OF SOME SORT.

While you've left off - download a dating app and introduce yourself - find a date. Your points are well taken. But you seem a bit harsh frankly. It's not all whining. After all - I've been in relationships for 18 years, and newly single at 53 y/o. That's no small thing to overcome. I recently decided after 9 months of attempting to meet guys online (I met my last two BFs online)... that I had to try something else - So I decided to volunteer at our local Gay Pride and LGBT Community Center. Hopefully expanding my horizons in this way will result in meeting a compatible partner. I don't give up.

[southbiochem]

THere are clubs of EVERY KIND out there and almost EVERY town has a gay social scene outside bars.

*gets in to put this on the table*

Almost every town in your country perhaps

*fades away from thread*

[Ekwarph]

I'm happy with that for the moment.
I'm a solitary guy so it's okay for me.

[findingmyway]

I wouldn't be surprised if I end up being single forever. I am someone who just tends to push people away out of fear of getting close and then getting hurt. And I'm sure I self-sabotage a lot because I have mixed feelings about whether or not I deserve to be happy with someone else.