I was almost a father, but sadly she lost the baby at 4 months. Honestly at the time it was for the best, neither her or I had our lives together, before all that I never wanted kids, even talked to my doctor when I was 14 about getting a vasectomy. When I found out I was going to be a father, that all changed. I was really excited about it, and as to be expected I was crushed when she lost the baby. It brought me back to the whole I don't want kids or a family thing. My boyfriend I know wants kids, and he would be an amazing father, so if things are to last between us, it is something I would be open to, just not something I really want. I'm not against the idea, but its not like a life goal of mine.
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A follow up discussion is for those of you who don't have children, how do you keep your life interesting, meaningful, and enriching?
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The ONLY family I want is my close friends, my niece and my nephews, and my sister.
And cats. Tons and tons of cats!!! 
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Baycitybreeze Wrote:A follow up discussion is for those of you who don't have children, how do you keep your life interesting, meaningful, and enriching?
We have pets, and they're basically our children. We also truly enjoy each other's company, and do everything together. If you can't find happiness and fulfillment with each other, adding children to the mix isn't going to help. Children meet a different need, and are not a substitute for whatever might be missing in your intimate relationship.
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I don't have a boyfriend and prob never will.
Friends and family [immediate family only, the rest can pretty much fuck off],
hobbies, being out in nature, helping/volunteering for my local Pagan community
keeps me sane pretty much.
I'll be one of those old ladies who craft a lot and have lots and lots of
tchotchkes displayed all over the house.
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swalter Wrote:We have pets, and they're basically our children. We also truly enjoy each other's company, and do everything together. If you can't find happiness and fulfillment with each other, adding children to the mix isn't going to help. Children meet a different need, and are not a substitute for whatever might be missing in your intimate relationship.
I'm not in a relationship. I enjoy friends, family, travel, eating out, outdoors, going to the mall, etc. I don't have pets.
I like my lifestyle but sometimes it lacks depth. It would be nice to find someone, even a friend with benefits, but so far I haven't had much luck.
Travel is meaningful but being alone on the road after a while it is boring, too quiet, and purposeless. I feel that I'm just traveling through, without leaving behind anything. It's like I have never been there. I find that it might be more meaningful to meet someone when traveling, even if just a temporary friend. A local with local knowledge would introduce me to a lot of things. Traveling alone and reading stuff alone gets very insular.
Eating out is fun. But there are only a limited number of places to eat out at. And not all of them are worth the money.
Sometimes I feel like a retired person. Sleeping in. Doing whatever I want. Eating great food. Weekend getaway if I want to.
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MisterLove Wrote:There's nothing wrong with a bit of hedonism (enjoying a good meal, a nice hotel, etc) but there's more to life than that. You HAVE to give something back.
No offense, but are you drunk?????
I do not HAVE to give something back, because NOTHING was given to me!
If anything, I have had to WORK like a literal slave to get the FEW meager things I have in my life!!
If anything, THEY owe ME!!! For all the intolerance, abuse, violence, intolerance, harassment, lies, thievery, shallowness, lethargy, and inane stupidity I have had to deal with every day of my life.
This planet needs an enema, not more shit.
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I would love to have a family, but with time I've come to make ammends that probably it isn't going to happen to me, I have 9 nephews/nieces, some are closer to me, maybe sometime in the distant future, but who knows.
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Yes, I know what you mean. I know many families I find unappealing and this goes up by degrees depending on the number of children, pets, vehicles, teams on which they play, lessons they take and how often I'm invited (but do not accept) invitations to hear little whatever recite the Waltz of the Flowers with Gestures. These families are delusional in that they feel all members of the species Erectus suffer if they are not involved with a family. I think of that often when, sadistically, I call to ask if they'd like to spend a weekend on Aruba with me-it's my turn to use the fractional interest in the bizjet. Thrilled, of course they accepted...if they could bring the children. Sadly, they could not. Okay, so it was a set up but unappealing families need to have that sort of bomb dropped on them occasionally given all the hell they've put their friends and families through; I know several sets of grandparents who, for several years now, have been lying about their "delicate" heart conditions whenever the plea goes out to watch the children while they "get away". Grandparents are no fools, there's every chance
"getting away" could end up "Sixty Minutes" (or similar) discussing the nice young family who went out for Chinese, leaving the young with grannie and gramps and...never came back.
So we stand shoulder to shoulder on "unappealing" families. Do a Google search for "Walmartians" just to confirm your darkest theories and fears.
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Charon Wrote:I know several sets of grandparents who, for several years now, have been lying about their "delicate" heart conditions whenever the plea goes out to watch the children while they "get away". Grandparents are no fools, there's every chance
"getting away" could end up "Sixty Minutes" (or similar) discussing the nice young family who went out for Chinese, leaving the young with grannie and gramps and...never came back.
Damn, you personally know of several kids not wanted by either parents or grandparents. Or by anyone. When they say no one loves them or wants them they're not mistaken. :frown:
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