Experimenting with Best Friend?

[Sanderson]

My best friend and I both came out to each other as gay about two months ago and the idea of experimenting came up in a conversation. As much as I want this, we have been through so much. We are both very secure with ourselves, but I'm worried that in the end, this might change our friendship in a negative way. Should I experiment with my best friend since we both want to, or should I try to avoid this to try to maintain the friendship? I'm just not sure here whether experimenting is risky. I have heard of friendships becoming awkward because of experimenting with each other and I don't want that to happen. I also don't want our friendship to become just a sex release for both of us. I want us to be the best friends that we currently are. If he actually wanted to go out with me, that is another deal. But I don't believe that is the case.

[swalter]

Hey there... I'm also in Denver ;-)

I think you should tread very carefully with this situation. Good friends are rare, and hard to come by, unlike sex. I've seen many strong friendships end tragically after sex is added to the mix, and can't think of a single time a friendship improved after bringing sex into the mix. I'm not saying it can't work, I'm just saying I haven't seen it.

If you truly value your existing platonic relationship with this man, don't risk it all by adding sex. There's a lot of guys to play with in Denver, and a good wing man is worth his weight in gold.

[Sanderson]

I think that you are right. Thank you. If we ever go past being best friends that is a different matter. However, I don't think that I would want it in any other way. It isn't worth ruining my friendship with my best friend...

[loserguy]

It's up to you and he.
If there is chemistry, maybe?
There are always risks involved in relationships, good and bad and I think you realise this.

[chillythoughts]

hmm it dont work you say? Ive had sex with a good friend afew times and it hasnt affected our friendship the slightest.

[Chimpy]

In my book, intimacy without feelings is pointless. I think the question here is "do you have feelings for each other". Do you want to hold him close and love him? If no, then don't change anything. If yes, then try being more than friends.

[Bravo]

If you don't want your relationship to change, don't do it.

My first kiss was with my best friend, but I just did it because I wanted him to be the one. I started to regret I did it because our friendship wasn't even close to the same... We stopped talking to each other, texts weren't as frequent and we started avoiding looking at each other. I missed him so I told him we needed to talk. It happens he was confused about his feelings and what we were going to do after what happened.

Bottom line: feelings and overthinking will harm the friendship if not the experimenting itself. If you don't plan on having an actual relationship with him like I did, don't do it. It's not worth losing a friend.

[ceez]

I started experimenting with my best friend when I was younger but I never let it go to far because I didn't want it to get wierd, but in my case he didn't know if he liked guys or not. You could always talk it out first, there are those couples (opposite and same-sex) where they start off experimenting then end up in a long term relationship.

[freelandia]

Sounds to us your regret of losing your friendship is stronger. Next question.

[NayNay]

Perhaps your meant to be more than just best friends?