Something to offend everyone

[LONDONER]

But carefully edited to try not to offend women!


What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag.

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What do lawyers use for birth control?
Their personalities..

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
30 lbs..

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes.

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

What's the difference between an Australian zoo and an English zoo?
An Australian zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F..... Word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between a northern USA fairytale and a southern USA fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins 'Once upon a time..'
A southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shiiit'.

Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.

[megumidesu]

But carefully edited to try not to offend women!

pointing out that you've edited it so that it's not offensive to women , when the entire thing is based around mildly offensive jokes , is incredibly patronizing and irritating.

we've complained about your jokes being offensive to women when the joke itself has been based around sexist humor , not when the joke has been about offensive humor.

posting a joke that explicitly states "women are crazy" is offensive. posting a list of jokes "to offend everybody" and including racist or sexist jokes is not offensive because that's the entire point.

[LONDONER]

pointing out that you've edited it so that it's not offensive to women , when the entire thing is based around mildly offensive jokes , is incredibly patronizing and irritating.

Just can't please everyone all of the time.

[megumidesu]

Just can't please everyone all of the time.

you deliberately made it patronizing by pointing out that you'd edited it "to try not to offend women!"
that's not a "can't please everyone" situation . that's a "well i've upset people before with sexist jokes , so i'd better laugh about it now and make sure they know i'm not going to put any jokes that might offend them on this post!" situation.

[LONDONER]

pointing out that you've edited it so that it's not offensive to women , when the entire thing is based around mildly offensive jokes , is incredibly patronizing and irritating.

we've complained about your jokes being offensive to women when the joke itself has been based around sexist humor , not when the joke has been about offensive humor.

You said it yourself. When I post something is clearly posted by me and in the Humour section. If you are so offended by what I post one has to wonder why you open them at all. Do you have some sort of masochistic streak or is it just that you love complaining?

I would suggest that in the future you 1: either don't open any of my posts or 2: block me so that you don't even see them.

Methinks the lady doth complain too much.

[Joshular]

But carefully edited to try not to offend women!

PSML
Why would you state that you've edited it as such!
>.<
By saying that you'er automatically going to offend people
I've got the giggles cos you're just too fanny

[dfiant]

someone says they are offended and you tell that they aren't or they shouldn't be???

You really are a lot more small minded arrogant than I ever thought.

your jokes are offensive, you lack care about other peoples comfort is offensive. You present yourself as nothing but a thoughtless self centred old man.

And instead of listening to what people are asking/saying, you attack thinking that the $30 a month comes with the priveledge of carrying on as a condescending, atagonistic and patronising twat without repurcussions.

I thought the last chauvanistic pig was left in the 1980's