Can you fall in love with someone in 1 day?

[dlor0230]

Maybe its just the alcohol, but I had only 2 drinks. I'm afraid I might love this man. We had a very good time and we plan to spend time tomorrow first thing in the morning. Is this possible? But..

I took him home and we listened to music and cuddle in the car. Things were going smooth and then he told me he was HIV positive... I don't really care at all. He is such a gentle man. But now what am I supposed to do? I mean sex is or can be a big thing in a relationship. I'm following my heart right now, but he said he didn't want to be with me because he doesn't want to ruin my life. He doesn't want me to get HIV.

I just want to be with him right now. Should I respect his descion and leave him alone or keep following how I feel. This was only the first day... Maybe I'm not thinking clearly.

[VileKyle]

I think I will have to consult the Greeks on this matter. To them, there were several types of love. Love at first sight like this tends to fall into their definition of Eros, which is a physical and sensual love. It doesn't just have to mean sex, if that's what you're wondering. It's just that first excitement you feel at the beginning of a powerful relationship. According to the Greeks, yes this is still love. I am not important enough to argue with them, so I am comfortable enough to agree with their stance.

Eros, however, does not tend to be permanent. It's just powerful, yet very temporary. I think what you are looking for is Agape, which is love in the more spiritual sense. It isn't as intense, but it can last a lifetime. Relationships don't really have this right away, but it can certainly develop naturally.

Of course, this is just what the ancient Greeks said. I have a terrible track-record for this love crap, personally. I think you should just try it out longer to see what comes of it though. If he's worried about the HIV like you said, talk to him more about it. Try to get to a mutual understanding about it. I'd also look into what the Greeks said more, because it's good stuff.

[Woollyhats]

Sort of.

You can be intensely sexually attracted AND compatible in terms of personalities with someone.

That's not 'love' though, but it kind of sets the stage so to speak... some would argue it's the same thing, but it's not a committed love is my point here -- which is more difficult.

Also; YOU get to make your personal health decisions. That this man was honest and cared tells you something about his character - but HIV is NOT something to be glorified. It can turn into aids and it's a full blown and difficult disease. It can be completely controlled, but without a lot of money, the drug cocktail that controls it is hard for many to get - I don't know how this works or the specifics, but even though a lot of "surviving with HIV or Aids" happy stories exist today, there are still a lot of tragedies happening.

Also, if you pursue a relationship and his HIV progresses into aids, there's a likelyhood that he'll die.

Things to consider.

Take some time to think.

[jogu656]

I say enjoy it, just use condoms and keep it as safe as you can, but sounds like you have found a good one, best time is when you are getting to know each other, when its all a blurr, and they make you feel like youre walking on air, Im totally jealous enjoy it

[MisterTinkles]

I have only met two couples in my whole life who actually "fell in love at first sight". But they were very honest, straight-forward people. They did not lie, cheat, steal, play headgames with others, and all that other BS. Thats the way they lived their lives and how they found each other.

All the other thousands of people who have claimed LAFS, well, it was nothing more than raging hormones or puppy lust.

[Ryocchi]

I once saw a man in a museum, his image has stayed with me ever since, I do even remember the exact clothes and colors he wore, didn't talk to him and never saw him again.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

As for love at first sight... yes its possible. It happened to me with my first lover. He smiled at me and my heart completely melted... but I was 'confused' back then so it took six months for us to take it to the real relationship mode with sex and my complete acceptance that yeah I'm queer.

He was patient yet persistent, telling me almost right from the start that he too fell immediately in love with me the moment he saw me.

Long story short, he ended up going to prison for a very long time and let me go free - a 25+ sentence was too long in his mind for me to wait for him.

I think that what he and I had was a soul-mate connection. Thus that immediate love and the persistence of that love I still carry a torch of sorts and miss him dearly at times. And that is 24 years after first meeting. I learned he died recently, that seriously did a number on me.... So after all those years, after 5 other men there was still 'something' that connected me with him.

I don't think love at first sight is all that rare... It think that biology makes or breaks a relationship. Real chemistry, real biological attraction can and does exist between people. Things like the scent of a man will make or break your desire for him.

Compatibility can be anything... If you are not prone to throwing yourself at any man that walks into a room, then its a good chance that there is this biology and compatibility between you two.

Actually the HIV is a big deal.

He has already said he doesn't want to pass it on to you. That means sex is going to be at best 'strained'... Most likely it will peter out far more rapidly in a regular relationship.

My ex of 14 years came home with a positive test result in the second, near third year of our relationship - while we used condoms and I was the top, he didn't get into it, rarely got off and steadily grew distant from me, complaining of 'headaches' and being 'tired' when I wanted to... you know.

He professed he didn't want to infect me... And other things, like minor cuts with a bit of blood I would pull out the first aid kit to do the nurse thing and he would freak out... This is more of the 'I don't want to infect you....' thing going on.

So it is a serious thing for some HIV pos people.

There is couple's counseling... There are mixed status couples who make it work. They work it, and they have a good understand what the risks are. Most I fear allow the third partner in their relationship (HIV) drive them apart.

You told us how he feels due to the HIV... ask him what he feels if you were positive, or he was negative... my gut tells me he already cares for you a bit more than he may be willing to admit. That whole 'I don't want to take a risk and infect you' thing - does he apply that to any hook-ups? Or will wearing of the condom suffice with other guys he meets?

Back to the HIV... I strongly suggest you both sit down together with Google and look for forums and sites that deal with mixed status couples:

Here is a kick to the head... or a shove in that direction for ya: https://www.google.com/#q=mixed+status+couples+hiv

Since it is a thing, you two need to be willing to at least study up on the risks, consider how the dynamics of your three partner relationship will work. I cannot stress this enough, HIV is a third partner - a silent partner that has its own wants/needs and makes demands on the couple.

Ignoring it does not work. Silence does not work. Facing it, and meeting the challenges and a healthy acceptance for the potential that you will be both positive - accidents happen must exist for that relationship to survive.

[HumbleTangerine]

It's possible to fall in love with someone in one day, but I wouldn't trust the feeling too much.

[Tyrion]

I'm definitely skeptical when it comes to "love at first sight".

I think in a lot of cases it's "love at first sight".. until you actually get to know the person. Then a half of the time they end up being douche bags. Just my two cents..

I may just have a negative outlook as far as love goes right now.

[loserguy]

It is possible but since you have only just met and you got on together why not just tell yourself that it is a good basis for meeting again and see how that goes without putting labels on it. Going in at this stage with high expectations of someone you don't know could result in a very heavy fall.