I'm attracted to a friend he says he's not gay.

[friendlyindr]

I have a good friend. He has a lot of gay friends, but keeps telling me he's not gay. I haven't told him I'm bisexual and that I'm attracted to him. We've been alone in his apt, drinking, and we sit close together. Sometimes so close that our arms are one on top of the other. He likes to hug me and put his hand in my hair for brief moments. I'm confused and don't know how to come on to him. Don't want to lose his friendship..

[Mark]

Okay if he's saying his not gay then why can't we just give him the benefit of the doubt? :p I know you like him and he seems flirty but if he is interested let him make the first move - you don't want to ruin the friendship do you?

[ChadCoxRox]

You could also not miss the "right moment" to just say straight out "would it kill our friendship if I told you I am attracted to you?" If he replies "what are you? gay?" you can say "I'm not sure, I haven't had any chance to find out yet" and then leave it at that. I've seen "seeds" get planted along the way that result in some action, but if he's not closeted, even in the least...don't expect much from it other than maybe a weakened friendship. I've seen better and I've seen worse. It sucks to fancy a mate but just how much of a mate is he?

[Wolfpack]

Tell him you are bi and that you attracted to him,and see what he say's.
I think you are a bit stuck with not alot of choice really,tread carefully to keep your friendship in tact.

[friendlyindr]

Thank you guys for your replies! Even though you all said different things, it all boils down to one thing: Don't screw up the friendship. That is exactly what I don't want. As for not having options, i do have them, it's just that this guy is really something and all this "closeness" is somewhat misleading (or maybe leading). Anyway, I agree in waiting for him to make the first move. If he's actually interested, he'll probably do something. Maybe then I can make my own move.

[Mark]

It will be worth the wait And if he doesn't you've lost nothing!

[swalter]

If you really want to open the door for him, pop on some porn next time you have him over for cocktails. People are more open to experimenting when you get their engines running, and douse them with alcohol. If he's open to playing with guys, make it as easy as possible for him. But be warned... I've seen lots of good friendships end after sex was added to the mix.