Long distance lesbian relationship ?

[Melody]

I have a crush on this girl who is bisexual and she likes me as well we met each other on the internet on another site . We spend most of the time chatting and flirting but the problem is she lives in another country very far away from mine . I'm also much older than her and she's only 19 . I want to have a relationship with another woman now or at least in 6 months and I prefer a face to face relationship . Another problem is she's a flirt and even said she likes to date other people from other countries because she prefers flirting and enjoys it and doesn't want to date people close to her , I've even once caught her flirting with another guy and we talked about it and I told her I want be serious with her and I don't like it when she flirts with other people but now I'm thinking is this relationship even worth it and am I being naive . I think I would have much better luck with someone that lives in the same country as me and I think dating some one that far way who prefers long distance might be a sign that this person might be likely to cheat . I really like her but I want to have a face to face relationship plus going through a dry spell is not easy and I don't want it to last any longer . Now I'm thinking over this relationship , we aren't girlfriends yet but we want to be , my other long distance relationships have gone bad in the past the girl never wanted to meet and even though in the past they said they were in love or liked me and I'm left with a broken heart .
I don't want anymore broken hearts what do I do ?

[Jimmy86]

Trust me 6 years is nothing, good friendship should mean more in an early strange of relationship, there is nothing wrong with flirting it's usually innocent enough so long as it doesn't lead to something physical, have you used FaceTime or Skype seen each other face to face? Take it a day at a time see how it progresses? Be happy be honest

[swalter]

If this is only an online relationship, and you've never been in physical contact with this person, you should really manage your expectations. Online relationships are fantasy, and at the convenience of the participants. Sorta like The Sims. Don't let yourself fall into the trap of believing it's a real relationship that's going somewhere because you're only setting yourself up for disappointment and heartache. You already know long distance relationships don't work, so why do you keep pursuing them?

[Melody]

If this is only an online relationship, and you've never been in physical contact with this person, you should really manage your expectations. Online relationships are fantasy, and at the convenience of the participants. Sorta like The Sims. Don't let yourself fall into the trap of believing it's a real relationship that's going somewhere because you're only setting yourself up for disappointment and heartache. You already know long distance relationships don't work, so why do you keep pursuing them?

I really want to have a girlfriend and not be alone anymore . I joined a lesbian dating site where i can meet lesbians in my town and a few that live in another state over . I was thinking of quitting to be with her but now I'm thinking I will regret quitting the dating site .
I also think I should date other women while seeing her because we aren't a couple yet you know but when I asked on other site everyone made me feel bad and guilty

[Mark]

I'd never advise going into an online relationship for the reasons posted above. You should save yourself the heartache.

Yes some online relationships work but they tend to be in the same country within driving distance. What about the physical side - would you both agree you can play around just so you're not missing out? I doubt it. There would be no way to fill this gap. Obviously it is your choice but I'd say no - don't do it, you've stated that she already flirts with others so why go there? You will only get hurt

[AlfredM]

I just got out of one of this potential virtual long-distance relationship,and I'd advise you against it especially since you've had past experience of such relationships not working. Any long distance relationship should have an end game where eventually both party should be in close distance,but this girl doesn't seem to even like that idea.

[Melody]

I think you guys are right you know , I really like this girl but I think it might be just a fantasy and maybe I should just move on but I don't know how to break it to her I might hurt her you know . I really do like her though . I think I'll go back to looking for a woman that live near me on the dating site

[AlfredM]

Yeah,I don't think there's a way you could end things without hurting somebody. Honesty is the best policy. Just tell her you have had your share of long distance relationships that didn't work,and you don't want to get into another one. The fact that you both like each other doesn't really count here,at least that's what happened to me. Just don't go wanting her back later like I did,LOL. :redface:

[swalter]

One of the hardest things to accept is how susceptible we are to confusing actually being in love with someone, and being hooked on the experience of love. What I've found in my own life is that, especially with online relationships, we construct the fantasy specifically to produce the feelings of love. It can be very hard to see that the love you're feeling is manufactured by your own subconscious mind, and the other person merely acts as the object of this contrived emotion.

You sound like a very sweet, affectionate person, and I have no doubt you'll get past this and find someone truly special who you'll have a real loving relationship with. Keep your heard up - I'm rooting for you!

[CellarDweller]

I was involved in two long distance relationships......they are hard to maintain. It wasn't strictly 'online', both times we met face to face as often as we could, but there were long gaps in between where we could talk via phone or through YIP or AIM, but not being able to touch, cuddle or kiss took a toll.

One guy lived in Oklahoma, he came here to Jersey a few times, and I went to Ok a few times. THe other was from New Zealand. He came here to Jersey, I went to NZ, and a few times we met in California.

I'm still good friends with both of them, but each time it was decided that we would be better off meeting people physically closer to us.