Colleague has a problem with my being gay

[EvenOlderButWiser]

In the UK, you have clearly define workplace rights when it comes to sexual harassment, regardless of your sexuality.

What he is doing to you is in effect sexual harassment.

You really have three choices here:

1. Avoid him completely
2. Take his abuse silently and say nothing to anyone
3. Engage your line or HR Manager and explain the situation.

Make no mistake here, he is bullying and sexually harassing you. If he was acting this way towards a female member of staff he would be out on his ear.

I know you said your not fully out at work (but you should assume that he's gossiping behind your back) Is there anyone at work (male or female) that you can confide in and explain the situation to. This is important because if you decide to confront him and tell him to back off, having some moral support within the workplace will be crucial to helping you through this.

If you don't feel strong enough to confide in a work colleague, then you must talk to your HR Manager. Businesses take sexual harassment extremely seriously within the UK, and they are bound by law to take action to prevent the situation escalating.

If you do nothing then this trip will hang over you and as the date gets nearer will interfere with your ability to focus at work.

If your company has a confidential employee help line, then that may be a good place to start.

You mustn't let him get the better of you, because this bullying may continue unless some formal action is taken.

Remember, you've done nothing wrong here, its him who is breaking the law.

Good Luck


ObW
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[Jimmy86]

Lay down some ground rule agree on the job your undertaking and that it's work tell him his comments are unwelcome, does he know how it makes you feel when he says the things he does? He might be ignorant and not even realise he's being inappropriate. I had to say to somebody in work once do you know when you say ..... It really offends me? She never said it again

[ddd]

From what you have told us so far it looks like he is trying to convince himself of something...not exactly you. Try to explain to him that you know well who you are and that you don't need his advices. He has to accept you for who you are. If he don't know other gay people, maybe he is just stuck with the typical gay stereotype shown on mass media (in most cases, really far way from the reality). In case he continuous with his offensive behaviour, you need to take a trip to HR (like CellarDweller mentioned above). I hope things will get better.