So my life kinda fell apart this March. It started on Monday March 10th, when my boyfriend broke up with me. To be honest, while it was hard, the relationship didn't really last that much time, and he was a little creepy. However, it was still a bummer, since it had been alone so long before that. It wasn't until Wednesday March 12th that really changed my world. This was when my best friend completely disowned me. The problem is that he sorta tied me to another friend group, and now they hardly speak to me. Not such great friends I know... My friends at college have been unreliable as well. I feel like very few of them actually care about me. So as it is, I'm pretty alone, and since I'll be heading home soon, and am struggling to find a job, I'm afraid I'll be sitting home all summer. Any ideas (and ideas to get out of the house)?
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
•
Posts: 1,296
Threads: 77
Joined: Jun 2009
Reputation:
0
I'm a : Single Gay Man
Starsign:  Virgo
Mood:
sorry your "friends" have not been there for you, I am running down that road right now, as far as a job, what can you do and at 22 you do have some education which should help in finding one. When I apply for a job I go back after a couple of three days and say that I had been busy and wondered if they had the time to look at my app yet. Shows interest. Other than that, going out to see what is going on in the real world is not a bad thing and maybe you will stumble accross a help wanted sign. Hope you will give us a little of your time too, Welcome to GS
•
Posts: 22,369
Threads: 166
Joined: Aug 2011
Reputation:
0
I'm a : Single Gay Man
Starsign:  Capricorn
Mood:
Google search is a wonderful thing.
Think of activities you like to do, and search them, but with "gay" in front, with your location in back.....
Like: "Gay hiking, my town", 'gay cooking, my town'.
That's how I found the gay bowling league I'm on, and I met some great friends that way.
![[Image: 51806835273_f5b3daba19_t.jpg]](https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/51806835273_f5b3daba19_t.jpg) <<< It's mine!
•
A couple of problems with that. I was really excited with that suggestion, so I did it and about 80% of the things were about gay marriage, no matter the activity. The others weren't very helpful/weren't about anything lgbt-specific. Also, my interests are not I guess "group oriented", except Pokemon and video gaming. I like poetry and deep conversations about things, but not really anything active like hiking or bowling.
•
I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time. Betrayal by those closest is one of the most painful realities of life, and has happened to the best of us. Our identities are tied to our friends and family, and abandonment by those people shakes our sense of self to the core.
The best thing you can do right now is surround yourself with your remaining friends and family, and let them know you need some reaffirmation and encouragement from them right now. You need to remind yourself that you are a good person, worthy of love and respect, despite what this ex-friend has done. Your self-esteem and sense of value are independent of, and not dependent on the opinions and actions of others.
If your other support people are unwilling or unable to adequately prop you up right now, lean on us here in the group. My door is always open, and I know the others here feel the same way.
•
•
I'm a great supporter friend, I'm the one my friends always come to when they are in the middle of crisis, it such a bummer all that has happened to you, not too long ago, went thought a really bad period myself, but I'm working towards a better place, and thanks to what happened I met some wonderful people discovered new sides of myself and i think I'm better now than I was before, I'm sure you will find a job, don't think your life is falling apart, maybe this ad to happen in order for a new chapter on your life to begin, best of luck pal! if you want to talk you can always pm or look for me on skype.
•
First off, reality check here.
Your 22, and while things may seem a little sticky now you still have that one thing that us "oldies" don't have. Youth.
What you really need to do is quite moaning and get off your ass, and get out there and DO SOMETHING, anything!
If your "friends" are part of the problem then it's time to find new friends, and since it's unlikely potential friends will beat a path to your door, you need to get out there and meet some.
The one mistake you are making, in my opinion, is your letting your sexuality define and control who you are. Wrong. Your sexuality is a part of you, but it should not define who you are, and by focusing on exclusively GAY related activities, and looking for GAY friends, you are in fact alienating 90% of the general population, some of whom are more than capable of being friends with LGBT community members!!
If you think your college educated life is falling apart at 22, then you need a serious reality check. And what better a way to get that than volunteering at something in the community, where, shock horror, there really are people whose life is falling apart, whose support groups need fit able bodied individuals who can give a few hours a week to support a good cause.
So Goggle volunteering in the community, and try it. You may find it rewarding in more ways than one. After all not every LGBT person likes to walk around with a gay label stuck to their forehead saying please talk to me. You may be pleasantly surprised at who you meet along the way.
Besides, when you write up your CV for that first real job, what do you think looks better?
A. Spent the summer gay hiking and gay cooking with gay friends
B. Spent the summer volunteering in the community teaching at an IT boot camp for the retirement community then as a support worker at my local Youth LGBT support organisation (nothing wrong with being a little gay right ;-))
The youth of today!
Consider your ass kicked, now get out there and do something less boring than wallowing in it.
OBW
X
•
How exactly does one "gay hike"? Lol 
•
Holy crap do you have everything 100% completely wrong. I do NOT define myself by my sexuality. Literally the opposite in fact. I pride myself on it being a very small part of my life. And excuse me, but WHERE did I say anything at all about limiting myself to gay/lgbt friends? Where did I say anything about limiting myself to gay people? I responded to CellarDwellar's comments on finding gay people in the community, that's about it. And when did I say my "college educated life" was falling apart? I said my social life was. My grades are fine. My relationships with my professors are fine. I'm the president of a club. And if you'd pardon me please, I know the horrors of volunteering for people who are less fortunate. I have volunteered for a homeless shelter, a halfway house, and a cancer center among other things. So before jumping to conclusions "Olderbutwiser", you may want to consider the person you are actually talking about.
•
|
