How to overcome watching porn?

[Chris]

So you are concerned that the rougher, more aggressive sex is not sufficiently satisfying and you'd like to have some more romantic, sensitive giving and receiving. Is there EVER any gentle and more romantic interaction? Have you tried to tell him or show him? To what effect? How long has this been going on?

I'm single so I meant only porn In my previous relation I had mainly romantic sex and I was only afraid what I may like after watching porn...

[Wolfpack]

I do not think porn will change who you are really at heart, if you had romantic sex before and that is what you want again i do not think you will have a problem.

[AlfredM]

There are things that turn me on in porn,but I don't think I want to do it in real life,at least for now. As for harder anal sex and deep throat,I'd say it's not that far from vanilla sex.

When thinking of porn as fake,I don't find much aspect to like to begin with. I'm not sure what else are you afraid of liking as a side effect of watching porn,but I don't think there's anything wrong with liking kinky stuff,though I'm not one for things like scat and such,erk. I believe at some point in your future sex life,you'll want to take it further a bit,then you could give a try of what you like from porn,or your other fantasy.

To reply to the original initial post,I find myself not into porn when I'm into real life guys,the appeal just suddenly vanished and I'd rather do it with that guy. But as I'm single now,watching porn gets more frequent as I easily get turned on,lol. After a few days,I'd stop for a few days,then I just repeat the cycle. I do think I'm addicted to porn,but maybe not,I don't care,LOL. :tongue:

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I bet you began enjoying bdsm after watching porn so it didn't come naturally, at least with me, I didn't have appetite for domination/submission before so that's why I realized it's not the part of me. You also refer to wikipedia so it's not yours. It's something that you was taught (like this aftercare). I think it's more like a habit, addiction then a real need...

This is a bet you lose.

Sorry, but back in my 20's there was no internet. And it wasn't until after my first lover introduced me to the leather scene that I saw leather porn.

Sure porn existed, but one had to physically go to a store, and many flat refused to go to such stores out of fear of being seen going in such a place. Well that is what kept me out of the loop - what if someone saw me going in such a place? :eek:

While I had a good (bad actually) idea about BDSM because people gossip and love to spread myths, and yes I was loath to actually participate and pretty much felt it was more or less addiction and not need and natural - I can tell you that now I know a lot better and I know that the whole Dom/sub thing is actually very natural and applies to all the primate species and many other species that have social order.

While master/slave role playing is taking the whole dom/sub thing to new levels - its only an expression of the natural order. All relationships have a leader/follower in them. Granted not all relationships have just one leading in all things, however one person leads while the other follows in different aspects of the relationship. Leading (dominating) and following (submitting) is the natural order of things. Society would not function if people didn't dominate and submit in all of societies various aspects.

As for things being taught... well someone also taught me the right way to suck dick does that mean I am not naturally a homosexual?

There is a right way and a wrong way to do stuff. So yeah I was taught about aftercare, but then if you actually read up on after care it suddenly makes sense what after care is about and follows naturally after scene.

Read this short introduction to aftercare: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aftercare_%28BDSM%29

Does this suddenly change your point of view about Dom/sub interactions?

Do you understand that a Dom desires nothing more than to protect and take care of their sub? Just as, no doubt, you want no - need - to be held and cuddled a true Dom needs to hold and cuddle their sub. It is natural, and if you look at traditional relationships you see that there is always one who is Dom (the holder) and one who is the sub (the held).

Trust me, aftercare is about as romantic as romantic can get... And in a healthy BDSM relationship where both parties are knowledgeable, this after care tends to follow all manner of sex and extends to situations where sex isn't even involved.

Common aftercare practices may include hugging, kissing, hair-stroking, cuddling, words of praise or gratitude, or general affirmation of an emotional bond between partners.

Source, that link to the wiki.

Now tell me how many porn videos have you seen show aftercare? Any of them? I doubt it.

My own personal experiences (6 relationships) has demonstrated to be that those BDSM relationships I was in (not all of them were leather), there was far more bonding between I and my partner than in those strict vanilla ones.

Bonding which is to say romance.

You are in sore need of real education on the matter of Dom/sub relationships. Your having watched porn may have introduced you to the potentials but I seriously doubt it has been a good way to be introduced to it since porn is fantasy and totally misses out on a lot of aspects of how such relationships work, or what the roles really are in those relationships.

Your take that it is addiction is wrong. Yes there are a few who get into it due to sex addiction, however most are naturally wired 'that way' - just like so many homosexuals continually insist that they are born homosexual.

I fail to see how you can look at porn and get off on a particular thing then sit there and deny that you get off on it. Did you have this same struggle with being gay?

[Versace]

I stoped some days ago.