Sexless Relationship

[Wolfpack]

You need love and affection from him, I quess you need to have one big confrontation with him, if nothing can be resolved, then sadly you may need to move on. No good in sacrificing your own happiness if he is unwilling to help himself and you.

[milka]

ARRRGH! I know, I know, it's just...well it's a pain in the arse really isn't it, splitting up. We live together, I would have to move back to my country etc etc.

Is there any sense in 'going on a break' in an attempt to scare him a little bit? Is that A. a dangerous idea B. something you stop doing after the age of 14?

[Cuddly]

It's a really hard one milka. I don't understand the full picture, but if it's just his insecurities keeping you from having sex and you still want him in spite of his gained weight, then he's just being silly and "all" you have to do is convince him that you still find him very attractive.
What do you mean dangerous idea? Have you got anything to lose? In my opinion you haven't. It can only get better, by splitting up or by him waking up.
No, it's not something you stop at the age of 14. Getting some time away from each other helps you to realise how much you really love each other OR how much better life is away from each other...

Is he one of those tragic individuals who expected sex to be like porn and then found out it wasn't and then lost his desire to have sex? Either way I'm angry with him without even having met him, as you may descern by my "tone" and lack of smilies.

[Wolfpack]

Can you live apart from him for a while? Maybe show what his life would be like without you, give him a reality check? He may then realise how important you are to him.

[CarGuy65]

This all sounds sooooo familiar. I am going through the same thing. Fortunately the members on this forum give some great advice.

[Brett240]

It made me feel really sad to hear you say that you wouldn't even care if he was cheating. I know exactly what that feels like. And we're all focusing on sex, but what I really hear you saying is that the love, the affection, the companionship and friendship are ebbing away. And you feel very alone.
You listed the practical difficulties in splitting up - but I never heard you say anything about the emotional issues. I think that he's hurt you so much that you've distanced yourself.
It seems that he's very resistant to change. Very unmotivated to change. You need to stop worrying about him and have a serious look at yourself - you aren't happy, you describe a sad and unhappy existence. And you deserve better.

[milka]

Thank you so much for your advice. By dangerous I mean could it backfire and HE realises he's better off without ME? Anyway, I have potentially made an arrangement whereby I can move out for a week or 2. Is that enough time do you think?

Haha Cuddly, you made me smile. I don't think he's like that to be honest. Maybe he is and I just don't know it. Sex was never an absolutely huge part of our relationship. When we started dating we would do it 4 or 5 times a week which I considered normal. It was never amazing though. Over time this then became less and less until we reached the dismal situation we are in now!

[Wolfpack]

Try moving away from him for the two weeks, see if that will bring him to his senses, if not maybe it will be time to take care of your own happiness and move on with your life, hard as it may be.

[Hahamango]

Your situation is so similar to mine, it's scary... I moved to another country to be close to him, we stopped having sex as often due to his insecurities with his weight.. Wow, yeah, I can definitely relate! What I'm trying to do is encourage him to get fit, which is turning out to be a real challenge. I've read somewhere that exercise increases libido, so if you're able to perhaps go for a jog or something with him it could do wonders!