Is it embarrassing for a man to not know how to drive a car?

[Anonymous]

Is it really so? I'm 25 years old guy and my family is pressing me to get a driver's license.

My whole life I never wanted to know how to drive, I never wanted to learn it and I still don't. I think that not everyone has the guts to drive. A friend of mine has a car and once, when we were on a lonely countryside road, he tried to teach me how to drive. Then it was crystal clear for me I cannot do it. When I sit in the driver's place, I begin to sweat terribly, my heart is racing and hands trembling. My friend laughed about such reaction, but I can't help it. I believe drivers need to have very good reaction, many dangerous things can happen on the roads that nowadays are so busy. If I would crash and kill just myself, that probably wouldn't be a big deal, but if I would run over and kill someone else, I would have to spend my life in prison. I don't need it and that's why I don't want to learn to drive - because I know it's not for me.

However my family has a different opinion about it, they were like "it might be ok if you were a woman, but a man who doesn't know how to drive? that's ridiculous, all your job colleagues will laugh about you". Well, all my male colleagues really do have driver licences, they don't know I don't have one.

Is that really so important?

[Miles]

It would be embarrassing to not know how to drive if you're trying out to be a Le Mans driver, probably. If you can get to all the places you need to go without a car, I don't see the problem. I was terrified of learning to drive too, and even though I love doing it now, it's the most dangerous and potentially lethal thing many people do everyday.

And why should it be less ok to not know how to drive just because you've got a Y chromosome?

[Wolfpack]

Should not matter, i cannot drive and i know plenty of other guys who cannot drive either. Do not do something that you do not want to do.

[Mark]

Its not really embarrassing to not know how to drive - a lot of people don't however it would change your life in some ways and give you so much freedom. I wouldn't base driving on a quick lesson from a friend - if you do it the official way and get an instructor you would find it a lot better.

[Wade]

Whenever an anonymous post pops up with the OP bearing similarities to me, eg., 25 years old, male, etc..., I always want to post something like "Just so you all know... this isn't me."

I'm not applying that thought to this post specifically though, because I wouldn't be embarrassed if it was in fact me.

Having a fear of driving is not an irrational fear at all. In fact, of all the fears I can think of, being afraid of commanding a 2000 pound steel missile and hurtling through space in close proximity with thousands of other likewise missiles which are commanded by... the general public *shudder* is a pretty damn rational fear if you ask me.

That all being said, I would say that if you decide you want to learn to drive then do it for you. Don't be pressured by your sexist family (what a weird standard to hold btw, "Men should be able to drive! Women... eh, whatever. Where's my cake, woman?")

When I started driving I was just as terrified as you. It's scary! ...when you start. But it gets so much easier, very fast, I promise. You just need experience. My dad taught me how to drive, and the whole time I was gripping the steering wheel so hard my knuckles were white, and my dad spent his time slamming his foot on the accelerator because I was too scared to go the speed limit, and he'd scream in my face "Relax!!!!" the whole time... which was a bit ineffective.

But I finally did relax, when he stopped being in the car.

Oh, and I think this: "if I would run over and kill someone else, I would have to spend my life in prison." is not actually true. I could be wrong, but I think the only way you can get convicted of manslaughter is if they can prove you were being negligent by driving under the influence or something. Otherwise it's just an accident, and as long as you're driving responsibly, which I'm sure you would be, you'd have nothing to fear.

But again, do it only if you want to, and fuck everyone else and their backwards bullshit gender stereotyping ways.

[ChadCoxRox]

People close may want to use the idea of learning to drive and being a driver as a way of approaching concerns for you without saying what the concern really is. Pushing you and hoping you might may be mistakenly inferred as "a way to fix" what they might perceive as a concern that is unspoken.

If you are not dependent on others for transportation (in general) then they can be mind their own business, but if they really care about you and you really care about them maybe it's about more than just "driving". Anxiety about it is something that can be effectively overcome if that's what you really want, but if not, it does seem like a concern enough to bring it here to talk about.

If you want to talk more about it being "deeper" or whatever, I'm game! Just know you get to be loved here unconditionally because we don't have to go anywhere!

[Genersis]

I have very similar reservations about learning to drive.
In the end, it's you're decision, and you shouldn't feel embarrassed for it unless it's causing you problems.

[nullnaught]

I do not like to drive and haven't in years.

[swalter]

Your gender had nothing to do with it. If you're a grown-up who doesn't have a disability or condition that would prevent you from driving, you should learn and get your license. Unless you plan on living in an urban area and never leaving, it's irresponsible and a bit sad to go through your adult life without this skill.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

A better way to approach this may be too write down a list of pros and cons for driving. That way you can decide for yourself whether learning to drive is something you want to do.

What I will say is that the longer you leave it, the older you get, the harder it becomes to learn.

My partner didn't pass his drivers test until he was 33.

ObW.
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