Online dating can be a drag. Mostly when it seems that most people that register to online dating are looking for the nil diamond, yet they have pretty much only plastic to offer. I have had my share of online dating. I have been in sites like Lavalife, Gay.com, Plenty of fish etc etc and just to find out that it doesn't matter which site you register to you will always find the very same person from one site to another.
You will meet several types of people in there which replicate from one site to another and for that matter, I've given them some specific profile template. So let's start with the few that I have encountered:
The enthusiast: Will talk to everyone and will contact everyone... the only problem is that the enthusiast will often metaphorse itself into a timid or social network collector when it's time to get very serious.
The timid: the timid would often say that they are timid in their profile... online it seems that you can talk your life away with them... but when it comes to ask them to meet they'd either find hundreds of reasons not to come or if they come they'd be so intimidated you'd end up saying goodbye to one another within the hour.
The waiting game: post a profile, which will be sitting there doing nothing... basically I used to be that kind. I would just post a profile and either I forgot about it or I just sit there waiting for fishes to bite. Although it can be a good tactic, it's a very boring one as you may be sitting there doing nothing for quite sometimes. And if happens that you're moderately cute, people would often be scared to death to enter into a conversation with you because everyone tends to believe because you sort of look good you'll be one arrogant jerk (which is often the case) but that's not true for everyone. And again beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. I find my husband amazingly beautiful, but I had people saying that he was average.
The catwalker: to sexy for everyone, those are the ones that should date a mirror. They often are either a typical good looking gay guy that is often looking for a reflection of himself. Yet you will often see in their profile writing such " appearance doesn't matter" but if you write to him, he will not even dignify an answer because you are not cute enough for its majesty. One good characteristic of those on dating site, they are often the one with the picture that seems to have been taken by professionals, with arranged background and all... For me, it's a big fat NO and even if he was a super model because you know that he'll expect you to praise him more than he'll praise you.
The aggressive: a bit like the overbearing romantic (below) the aggressive type will just spam your email, asking you to meet them now and immediately. Yet you have no basic information about what he's looking for and quite often the profile is very vague with practically no information.
The liar: that when it's to good to be true, but you have two categories of the liar; there's the one that will have a very lengthy profile making him sound that he's the best options you can have or the one that post a description such as "ask me to find out" which give them enough time to build up a different story for each and every one that hit its profile and communicate with him.
The overbearing romantic: being romantic is one thing, but beside mentioning it in their profile you got those that goes a little too far when communicating with you. I can be romantic at times, but it is really not my cup of tea, being romantic once in a while there's no issue with that. But I did meet once a guy that even though we never saw each other he started its romance on email and Skype and I've got so annoyed that I had to tell him that he wasn't allowed to call me baby or honey before we meet. We never end up meeting because it seems that he did not understand that it was very annoying. And yes he did complaint that many people would reject him quite often... That's because it was more like a desperate cry than looking for BF.
The social networker: those one I hate them with a passion, first because from a social network dating platform, his only goal is to add you to its list of virtual friends. Quite often they have no interest in dating or meeting you, but they would immediately ask you for Facebook, Skype and Twitter and you'll notice that even on those networks they'd rarely engage any conversation with you. Those are using you as collectible for their own social network. They are the worst annoying members one kind find. There is nothing to get from those kind. They may talk to you for a while, but they would normally stop chatting with you and just disappear. And you end up with a dead contact longering in your skype or other social network.
The analphabet: so you have wrote a very nice and well thought profile, where you clearly state what you want and what you're looking for. And you even went to the extent of putting the age range you are looking for and what you dislike. But somehow you keep receiving messages from people asking you what you're looking for or what do you like. Yet it's all written black on white (or whatever color the background is on the website you're visiting.) Those message are coming from lazy and/or anaphabet user who use the excuse that they prefer to immediately engage conversation rather than reading your profile.
The douchebag: At some point we all have been a bunch of douchebag when it comes to online dating, I do not spare myself from it either. I have been all those mentioned above and that's when you realize it that you change. A douchebag is the one that will ignore a message being sent on purpose. The douchebag is the one that would play the friendship card but yet still wants "good looking friends". Honestly if you are going to push the friendship card, why the look is so important.
A douchebag lies and deceive. And all have been one on online dating sites, sometimes without even wanting or knowing it.
For your sake I could put some tips about online dating, but honestly, online dating as opposed to face to face dating is the number of people that one can get in contact with. The very same way that you act when meeting someone face to face should be the very same way online. If someone say hi on the street, would you just ignore them or you'd say hi back?
When online dating the only advice I can give you and that's the one that works for me (even though I didn't meet my actual partner through online dating) is to see it as ENTERTAINMENT. Because that's all it is! Don't register to online dating thinking that because you're buff, and beautiful that it will be easier for you... come to the site with an open mind and try not to set the bar too high. When someone communicate with you stay polite and be honest. There was at time where I truly had to tell someone off. Don't get frustrated... I used to get really frustrated when I had people twice my age contacting me or that someone that was clearly not reading the profile and yet tries. Until I realize that online dating is just a game and when I started seeing it as just being a game... I would definitely get less frustrated and it shows when you reply back.
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As a fellow Nutmegger, CT doesn't have shit for gay singles (maybe more in your neck of the woods in Fairfield County, Melody; Triangles Community Center is way more active and better funded than New Haven's Pride Center), and Manhattan peeps only want other guys in Manhattan (even the other burroughs are too "inconvenient", never mind someone from CT). Maybe it's different for gay women here, I dunno. Let us know how you do.
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Honey don't feel down, you'll find a lass who deserves you and will treat you right. You just have to be patient, I'm sure there's plenty of girls out there who would love to get to know you better. People on dating sites etc. can be lovely but they can also be very rude and aren't always honest about their intentions. I think it will be better for you to find someone in real life by going to the LGBT centre or bars etc. in your area, go out there and make some new friends and from there I'm certain you'll meet that special someone. Don't be disheartened, the dating game is hard going but if you're patient you'll find what you're looking for.
As for the men hitting on you don't worry about that, it can be annoying but you just have to be firm and let them know you're not interested.
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I got a tinder and I really just want to delete it now. If dating is this hard I'd rather just be single, if anyone wants me they can come get me, and if not so be it.
Capricorn
