Sex vs. Friendship

[philsguy95]

Ok, so my best friend's brother is, quite literally, the hottest human being to ever walk the face of the earth, and I will not accept any assertions to the contrary! Anyway, I have unfortunately only ever had one interaction with his brother, and it was four years ago and two seconds long and he probably doesn't even remember me.

The point is, he was my first high school crush, a freshman admiring the hot senior from afar thing, and with him being home for the summer I will probably meet him and have my high school experience come full circle... one year after high school has actually ended. Imagine it as being a ginormous fan of Survivor and then meeting Vecepia.... hahaha sike! Richard Hatch or something.

Anyoohoo, the anticipation of finally truly coming face-to-face with this Adonis, this titan of talent, this beast of beauty, this colossus of (insert "c" word I don't feel comfortable typing out for some reason) is making all of the fantasies come about... however, I have realized something.

Even with my longstanding sexual infatuation combining with my rampant teenage hormones, I would under no circumstances whatsoever ever ever ever ever have anything to do with my best friend's brother sexually if he was down for some experimentation.

Why? Well, I love my best friend, and even though he says he would have no issue with me ever getting down with his brother, I think I can safely assume that is a humongous wad of bullshit. If one of my friends hopped on my bro for summer lovin' I'd be.... remiss, a sight unseen sort of thing, but secretly totally disgusted and creeped out. I could never be able to shake the feeling that my best friend would be resentful and uncomfortable no matter how much he claimed otherwise, and my best friend's friendship and feelings mean way more to me than a hot dude, relative to him or otherwise, could ever be.

Sorry, my point is, I have read an alarming number of stories online about people who have ruined friendships by sleeping with their best friend's husband/wife, girlfriend/boyfriend, brother/sister, even mom/dad (I don't judge, but okie dokie then, cougar away, ladies).

So I was wondering, is there a circumstance anyone here can envision where great hookups with a super hot individual was worth a friendship, or if you have done such a thing, do you necessarily regret it. This may sound like a dumb question, but jee willickers there are some un-keen cats roaming around out there, and I would like to gain some perspective on why these people behave this way (also this will come in handy for a summer paper I need to write).

[Charon]

"Let us not to the marriage of true minds admit impediment". Congreve I believe. You have wonderful thoughts based on one memory and, I'll wager, lots of viewing time. You don't happen to mention if this object of your desire would even be sexually available to you but there I go again, digging pot holes on the road to true love.

Now lets turn to the rather sad sight of his brother. This is your true friend and has been for some little while. My sympathies are all with him. Do you believe you're the first person to mention to him that his brother is hotter that the surface of the sun? He knows it, he loves his brother but, damn, man, he's taken it on the comparative chin waaaaaaay too often. Take this sweetheart of a guy in your arms, give him a hug and a kiss and apologize for all your mooning over his brother. Explain to him that when it comes to friends, he's aces and in your book has everything his brother hasn't including yourself. Did I mention to make that an abject apology?? I meant to.

[philsguy95]

Wow, what an embarrassing and gross misinterpretation of what I typed. Did you even read it? I said I wouldn't do anything even IF the brother were willing anyway out of respect for my friend and value of our friendship. The question I asked is why people are so willing to throw away friendship for a hot hookup, and I made it pretty clear

You're making a lot of assumptions about him, myself, and our friendship and to be frank that's rather insulting and definitively presumptuous and it pisses me off. He's totally comfortable with the way people fawn over his brother. He's become comfortable with his own attractiveness and it doesn't bother him like it did years and years ago. Secondly, I don't moon over his brother incessantly, in fact I rarely mention it and only do so as a joke that he finds funny cause he DOESN'T CARE. Thirdly, my best friend is well aware of how important his friendship is to me, and I am aware how important mine is to him.

If you're response was rooted in sarcasm that I apologize for MY embarrassing and gross misinterpretation; if it was not.... this is a classic "think before you speak" situation, or read thoroughly in this particular case.

[HumbleTangerine]

Your infatuation sounds really unhealthy, obsessive and kind of shallow. Also, to answer the question - someone who'd sacrifice a friendship for one "hot hook-up" isn't worthy of having any friends to begin with.

[philsguy95]

haha, I overstated to get the point across: I'm not seriously infatuated, it's more that he's just the first guy I ever had a major crush on. It's not like I'm pining for him endlessly every day of my life. Trust me, I don't obsess, I didn't mean to come across shallow. I don't know the kid, I don't have anything to know him on, but I can take that. haha

[Charon]

haha, I overstated to get the point across: I'm not seriously infatuated, it's more that he's just the first guy I ever had a major crush on. It's not like I'm pining for him endlessly every day of my life. Trust me, I don't obsess, I didn't mean to come across shallow. I don't know the kid, I don't have anything to know him on, but I can take that. haha

You don't know him? He was a face on a passing train? Well, I went back and read your original posting and even if you were "overstating" I could hear you pant and see the drool running down your chin way out here in fly over country. I'm trying to align "not seriously infatuated" with "first major crush which implies some level of infatuation.

In the future why not stifle the purple prose and tell it as you believe and/or know it to be and then you'll not get shelled by people trying to honestly react to what you wrote.

[larafan25]

I don't see the problem. Anyways, yeah I can totes relate to how you've described your feelings about this guy. Like dang, some guys y'all.

My advice would be to trust your friend, even if -- to you-- it would be hurtful to sleep with his brother, believe him when he tells you he doesn't mind. Even if you don't sleep with his brother, just because trust and belief is important. Taking someone srsly and stuff. I'm sure he really don't mind,