Sexual Preference

[Pix]

Depends. If it's simply a visual thing then it's not racism. OTOH, if you associate certain traits with black men (such as unfaithful or dirty or even especially dominant when that's not what you want) then yes, it is racism. Or it could be how you might feel "being seen with a black man" which is something else.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Personally I think the fact that the guy pulled the racist card in response to your rejection of his advances pretty sad, and only serves to highlight his own sexual immaturity.

As Wolf said, we all have different views of what we find attractive, be that black, white, yellow, fat, thin, tall short, ginger hair etc. The list is endless. (Did I mention ginger hair :biggrin

Having a preference for what your ideal guy or girl may look like is not racist, and if someone accused me of being a racist because of that I'd be pretty affronted to be honest.

To the OP, don't dwell on it, the guy was being a dick and only giving you verbal for rejecting him.

ObW
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[Freak]

It's really.. all about preference and that's all!

I'm for example an Asian and I'm not into black men, either. However, it's only means that I'm sexually not interested in them, not personally.

For me, it's kinda like.. Forcing a gay man to love women. Sexual preference is an individual thing and you can't force anyone to love something!

[Mark]

I'm not attracted to black men either if I'm honest. Not sure why just never have been!

[SilentFilm1988]

As much as I hate to admit this because I don't want to sound conceited, but I feel looks do play a part in this. I'm not sure if anybody on here remembers MySpace lol but a long time ago I was friends with a guy who wrote a lot of blogs. Anyway, he wrote one and I wish I could remember all of it, but the main point was your best significant other is someone you feel 100% comfortable being naked with. I was at a club once chatting with 1 black guy I met that night and he said I was cute, I thanked him for the compliment, I think he even point blank asked me if I liked black guys, I told him I have a preference. He said "You just haven't met the right black guy yet" I thought that was very clever and witty. I must admit sometimes I see photos of guys who are not white, and think he's good looking. So who knows, I've learned from these replies that its okay to have a preference, but to keep an open mind.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Personalities/Character is vastly more important than physical features.

I mean can you help what you're sexually attracted to?

Yes to a point. My 4 first partners were my 'ideal' attractive body types. They learned me a few things about personalities inside of packages.

The last two partners were nearly completely opposite of my 'ideal type'.

The longest relationship (over 14 years) was with a person who was completely the opposite of my 'type' this was the last one. While it wasn't all sunshine and flowers, it was the quietest relationship I ever had and by and large worth most of those years.

My brothers one and only truly monogamous and long term (until death parted them) relationship was with a black man. Bear was a great guy, he treated me like a brother and was very, very good to my brother.

My Momma (My Momma was a Black Man - its the working title of her story) was a great person, and did her best to save me from all of my enemies, unfortunately she was unable to save me from myself. Both she and her husband were very good people.

Don't let the packaging fool ya. Books and their covers and all of that litany of other sayings - they hold gems of truth.

And don't let physical attraction be the only guiding rule in your life. Understand that old age will decimate physical beauty, muscles fade, skin sags, hair whitens or falls out... What matters is not the packaging, but the person inside.

So yeah, you may not have been with a black man yet, however it may be that you have yet to meet the right black man.

And I assure you, as time wears on, as you get older and eventually old you will discover that your 'type' changes with time as you get to learn more about the world and what people are like when it comes to personalities and characters.

[East]

I think there is probably a complex reason why you are attracted to certain people and not to others.....

I think sometimes racism may play a role for some people...but definitely not for everyone. For instance...if you are racist and have a problem with people of another race and you do not date outside your own race for that specific reason...then of course it its racist.

[KingOfChaos]

I couldn't agree more with Bowyen Aerrow --- I always used to be attracted to a certain type - blond guys, slim and kind of delicate, not very assertive. I pretty much wouldn't consider anything else. And I could never understand why my relationships went so wrong so quickly.
My current BF, whom I've been with 2 years is from Barbados (a lovely shade of brown), athletic and muscular, assertive bordering on aggressive at times --- and we get along great, I've never been happier.
So yeah, it's fine to have preferences, but like a lot of people have said here, it's also important to keep an open mind.

[Iceblink]

As far as preference goes, I guess race is not a big factor for me. I've mostly dated white men, black men, and Middle Eastern men, simply because that is who you meet where I've lived most of my adult life and I've found all of then very attractive. There are people of all races and ethnicities I've found attractive. For attraction, I'm more of a stickler for body type. As much as I wish it was not true, I'm just never attracted to skinny or thin.

[Sharkspeare]

As far as preference goes, I guess race is not a big factor for me. I've mostly dated white men, black men, and Middle Eastern men, simply because that is who you meet where I've lived most of my adult life and I've found all of then very attractive. There are people of all races and ethnicities I've found attractive. For attraction, I'm more of a stickler for body type. As much as I wish it was not true, I'm just never attracted to skinny or thin.

You like 'em stockier, eh?
A friend of mine asked me once, "What do you see in all them skeletons you date?" LOL